Living Christian Out Loud

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Brave Men with Paul Lewis Cole.

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Hi, I'm Paul Lewis Cole, and this is the Brave Men Podcast.

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I'm fired up today because Chris Harper's in the house, sat right over there across my desk from me just a few days ago, and we talked about a far-ranging conversation.

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And Chris is just honest.

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He's one of these men, and that's why we titled it Living Christian Out Loud, because...

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Chris is exuberant.

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He gets me fired up.

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I get motivated.

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This conversation is going to just get you motivated, get you inspired.

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You're gonna learn some things.

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You need to write some things down.

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Maybe you need to fact check a few things.

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There's probably that.

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I'm fine with that.

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I'm good with it.

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And he is too.

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Hey, listen, Harp's a great friend who heads up.

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He's the CEO of Better Man, which is a great ministry that develops discipleship groups for men.

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And we are compadres.

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We are allies in this fight to raise up strong men.

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And with Christian Men's Network, our goal, our mission, we're in over 100 nations, but our mission is to defeat fatherlessness in every nation of the world.

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To defeat fatherlessness in every nation of the world because we believe...

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Every child deserves a loving dad.

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So that's what we're on a mission for.

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Go to CMN.men.

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That's the Christian Men's Network.

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CMN.men.

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And I want to thank every single man, every person who has sponsored the Brave Men podcast, sponsored Christian Men's Network.

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We just got back from a number of different nations.

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Probably do a report on our podcast about that.

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I do some reports for our partners that I've sent out to them.

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And love to have you get involved with that.

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Go to cmn.men and you can see everything there.

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We're in the middle of resources to disciple men to start an awesome men's group.

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in your church or your parish or wherever you may be.

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So we're here to help because that's what we do.

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We say it this way, we are see men, we rescue men.

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So here's a guy, here's Chris Harper, here's a man who knows Jesus, who came out of some deep stuff,

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met Christ, radically changed, got a bunch of children, great marriage, a lot going on.

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And he took the time to sit here and just go, hey, here's what I'm walking through right now.

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And it is inspiring.

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You're going to enjoy this.

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Here's Chris Harper.

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So, harp or Chris?

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What are we doing?

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Well, for you, it's what harp?

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It's harp?

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Yeah, my brother.

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We're here.

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We've known each other for three or four years, four or five years.

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I think it's like five.

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Five years.

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Yeah.

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And what I appreciated about you, and I said it, we were praying just before we started the tape.

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And I said, I appreciate about you that you live out loud.

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Like, it's like, we know what harp's thinking.

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Yeah, it doesn't serve me well sometimes.

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It's like, yeah.

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Like I kicked you off a TV network, didn't I?

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Yeah, I've gotten kicked out of a few places.

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But don't you think that's what the issue was in the early church?

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Sure.

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As they preached, and you think of in the book of Acts, Peter and John, and they're throwing it, hey, you can't do this anymore.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And they go, okay, Lord, consider their threats and give us an anointing so we can preach louder.

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That's it.

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Yeah, and they didn't shy away from who they were.

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I mean, Peter's first sermon was, you killed the Messiah.

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We killed the Messiah.

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Like, no one was preaching.

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And today we don't preach messages like that.

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So you get a guy that gets up and he's authentic and says, hey, you know what?

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I'm not perfect.

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I remember one time I was at a church.

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and I was preaching on shame and guilt.

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And one of the most shameful moments of my life was in college.

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I had convinced a girlfriend to get an abortion and I carried that.

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Uh, even, I mean, that was before Christ in my life, but even after Christ, I remember being called to my first church and telling a seminary professor, man, I can't do this because of the stuff I've done in the past.

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And, and I'll never forget.

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He said, Chris, when your repentance is more notorious than your sin, you're okay.

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And it was like a weight had come off me.

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And no joke, so I'm sharing that in the sermon about how I was living in that shame.

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And the church pulled me aside afterwards and said that was too real.

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You can't share that in the next service.

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It was too real.

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They're afraid.

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Sometimes it seems like we're afraid of what's real.

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Yeah, it's like the place that told the guy not to sing any song that had the blood in it.

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Come on, seriously?

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Right.

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I mean.

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You know, and what I love about really what's happening in a lot of music, if you will, today is that's been reintroduced.

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Oh, yeah.

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I think there's a lot of guys are going, what?

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Yeah.

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Hang on.

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We're trying to be real here.

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The blood of Jesus.

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For sure.

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The sacrifice for sin, man.

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And I know you have because you're a, I mean, you're a scholar and a saint.

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You, I'm wondering, have these people ever read the Bible?

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Yeah.

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Okay, here's my favorite song recently.

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The guy didn't read the Bible.

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It's a real famous song, and it's called Hallelujah.

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And the verse goes something like, I don't have to fight my fights because he fought my battles for me.

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And it goes on and on.

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I don't have to do this because he did that.

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And I'm like, dude, somebody should have told Paul.

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The whole deal was I fought the good fight.

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I'm taking my oldest son through the Old Testament right now, and he got into Esther, and he's like, this is some wicked stuff.

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I'm like, yeah, yeah, bro.

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Like, there's some – it's not family-friendly.

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No, we're not making movies out of this Disney movies out of this stuff.

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I mean, this is real fight.

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This is real stuff.

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And they're trying to take us out.

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That's it.

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And that's the thing I tell guys that are dealing with porn is, hey, at any point in time, what's happening right now is not the images.

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It is that the enemy is trying to take you out.

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Come on.

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This is a fight for your soul.

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Yeah.

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So whatever it is, whatever the addiction, whatever the hobby that displaces Christ in your life, whatever the rage, whatever the anger, whatever it may be that displaces Christ, the enemy's trying to take you out.

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Yeah.

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It's kind of like the enemy's really good at doom scrolling.

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Yeah.

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Just getting you locked into a thing.

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Zoned out.

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Zoned out.

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Yeah.

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And again, I wrote an article a week or two ago about a road trip.

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And I got to the end of the road trip, and my wife and I had a knockout dragout.

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Okay, that's on Substack.

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It is.

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And it's called Good Trouble.

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That's right.

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And we had a... Chris Harper on Substack.

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And you guys had done...

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It was great.

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Back it up a little bit.

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You guys did this trip with four children.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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3,200 miles.

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And they're five to 14.

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Yeah.

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Five, seven, same vehicle, same vehicle, staying together in the same places.

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I didn't Paul.

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I'm not exaggerating.

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I didn't blow up once.

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I didn't curse once.

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Like it was, it was the best trip ever.

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We pull into the driveway.

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I'm not 20 minutes in my house and we're having a knockout drag out fight in the bathroom.

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And this is with your wife, with my wife.

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And so I said, you know, this is a teaching moment.

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And when I write, when I speak, it's a teaching moment.

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You told her that.

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No, for me, that's right.

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That's right.

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I need you to sit down and listen.

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You just.

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Yeah, no, this is a teaching moment for me.

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And I write and speak.

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And this isn't false humility.

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Like I'm just preaching to myself.

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So I write down, you know, just the lesson I'm learning.

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And this dude sends me an email.

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He's like, you shouldn't fight with your wife.

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And I'm like, yeah, no joke, Sherlock.

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I mean, I realize that, but, you know, he's like, well, you just need to stop it.

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And all I could think of, you remember that old Saturday Night Live?

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Was it Saturday Night Live?

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Oh, it was.

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What was it?

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It's the guy who was the comedian.

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It's Bob Hart.

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Wasn't it Bob Hart?

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Newhart.

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Newhart.

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Bob Newhart.

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And he's a psychologist.

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And the lady's like, I'm thinking about killing myself.

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He's like, well, stop it.

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Yeah, she says, I have this phobia of being put in a box in the ground.

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She said, I can't stop.

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It permeates everything I think about.

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He goes, well, has this ever happened?

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No.

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Has anybody ever threatened you with being put in a box in the ground?

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She says, no.

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He says, well, I have two words that will help you.

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She says, do I need to write it down?

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He goes, no, we find that most people can catch this.

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He's the psychologist.

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She goes, okay.

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And he goes, stop it.

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Stop it.

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It's just the best.

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And I think that's the in a lot of religious circles, you know, the approach is either pretend like it's not happening.

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Yeah.

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Or just stop it.

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Just stop it.

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No, no, no.

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Like I'm in a battle.

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Real life.

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I'm in a fight.

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Yeah.

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Like I need some encouragement or some instruction or something.

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And I and again, I think I think that's where a lot of men are.

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You know, we're either pretending like it doesn't happen.

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Or we just think we can just bootstrap this thing.

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I had a young guy come to me, Harp, that worked for us years ago, and he had been married five years.

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He sits down and he's just crushed.

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I go, what's wrong, man?

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His name is John.

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And I said, what's wrong, John?

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He says, my wife and I had a fight.

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I said, well, it must be pretty bad to come in and talk to me.

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And I said, what's the deal?

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He said, oh, man, I'm just devastated.

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I said, bro, what happened?

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He said, well, it's the first fight we've ever had.

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I said, how long have you been married?

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He goes, five years.

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I said, let me give you a scripture that my wife and I have lived by for the years at that point, 25 years we've been married.

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He goes, okay.

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And he gets ready to write it down.

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I said, it's iron sharpens iron.

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Hey, man.

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That's incredible.

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He goes, what?

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Friction.

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I goes, that's...

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That's the friction that creates something that bonds.

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Yeah.

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Like, it won't bond unless it's been roughed up.

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If you're painting wood... Come on.

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Right?

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Right?

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You've got to create something that creates the adhesion.

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That's it.

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Makes it beautiful.

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And there you go.

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Yeah.

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So, but I love the fact that on Substack, you do live it out loud.

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Yeah.

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Like you're out there.

252
00:11:18.224 --> 00:11:18.464
Yeah.

253
00:11:18.504 --> 00:11:19.825
Substack preaching again.

254
00:11:20.005 --> 00:11:25.429
It's not, it's not received by everybody, but at the end of the day, I just can't pretend to be something I'm not.

255
00:11:25.450 --> 00:11:25.610
Yeah.

256
00:11:25.650 --> 00:11:26.630
It's kind of a Jesus thing.

257
00:11:26.670 --> 00:11:27.111
Don't you think?

258
00:11:28.532 --> 00:11:29.613
I mean, I hope so.

259
00:11:30.093 --> 00:11:31.034
Oh, for sure.

260
00:11:32.055 --> 00:11:34.337
Like, what do you think really ticked people off the most?

261
00:11:35.203 --> 00:11:35.463
Yeah.

262
00:11:35.884 --> 00:11:39.788
You know, I think most people would immediately say that he claimed to be God.

263
00:11:40.749 --> 00:11:46.156
But I actually think it was something that came from Nazareth was making a splash.

264
00:11:46.957 --> 00:11:47.157
Really?

265
00:11:47.177 --> 00:11:52.143
And they couldn't, you know, because because you read in the scriptures, you know, what good could come from there.

266
00:11:52.583 --> 00:11:52.884
Right.

267
00:11:53.084 --> 00:11:53.344
Right.

268
00:11:53.384 --> 00:11:54.045
So here's this.

269
00:11:54.245 --> 00:11:55.567
Here's this podunk town.

270
00:11:56.348 --> 00:11:57.370
Son of a poor.

271
00:11:57.390 --> 00:11:57.590
Right.

272
00:11:57.810 --> 00:11:58.151
Oh, yeah.

273
00:11:58.291 --> 00:11:58.711
I've been there.

274
00:11:58.751 --> 00:11:59.833
It's just out of it.

275
00:11:59.893 --> 00:12:00.113
Yeah.

276
00:12:00.294 --> 00:12:01.455
It's not on the road.

277
00:12:01.535 --> 00:12:01.936
Yeah.

278
00:12:01.956 --> 00:12:02.336
Somewhere.

279
00:12:02.356 --> 00:12:02.517
Yeah.

280
00:12:02.817 --> 00:12:03.097
Yeah.

281
00:12:03.157 --> 00:12:08.384
And do you remember when John's disciples like they come to John and they're like, hey, he's getting more attention than we are.

282
00:12:09.583 --> 00:12:09.823
Right.

283
00:12:09.883 --> 00:12:10.324
Wow.

284
00:12:10.544 --> 00:12:17.688
And, and you, you, you think they're actually, um, making, making a statement, but what they're doing, I mean, it's just jealousy.

285
00:12:17.788 --> 00:12:19.009
They're like, they're like, what do we do about it?

286
00:12:19.029 --> 00:12:20.170
And then John looks at him.

287
00:12:20.190 --> 00:12:22.432
He's like, who are we?

288
00:12:23.052 --> 00:12:26.334
This is, this is the one I'm, I'm not the bridegroom.

289
00:12:26.354 --> 00:12:27.955
I'm just here to point to the bridegroom.

290
00:12:28.916 --> 00:12:35.680
And, um, so I think, I think a lot of what, of what got Jesus in trouble is he was supposed to be a nobody.

291
00:12:35.700 --> 00:12:36.541
Oh man.

292
00:12:36.561 --> 00:12:38.002
And, but he became a somebody.

293
00:12:38.022 --> 00:12:38.082
Um,

294
00:12:38.501 --> 00:12:43.844
Well, Isaiah says that he was not in any way comely in the King James.

295
00:12:43.964 --> 00:12:44.164
Yeah.

296
00:12:44.504 --> 00:12:47.926
That we would admire him and say, oh yeah, that's the guy to follow.

297
00:12:48.046 --> 00:12:48.446
For sure.

298
00:12:49.206 --> 00:12:49.506
Yeah.

299
00:12:49.546 --> 00:12:49.986
Fascinating.

300
00:12:50.027 --> 00:12:52.328
Yet everywhere he went, crowds began to gather.

301
00:12:52.348 --> 00:12:52.828
Crowds gathered.

302
00:12:54.008 --> 00:12:54.128
Yeah.

303
00:12:54.148 --> 00:12:55.009
Why did crowds gather?

304
00:12:55.529 --> 00:12:55.709
Yeah.

305
00:12:55.729 --> 00:12:58.350
What do you think was that was the thing that like brought people?

306
00:12:58.891 --> 00:12:59.111
Yeah.

307
00:12:59.551 --> 00:13:01.412
He, um, well, he had something they needed.

308
00:13:01.952 --> 00:13:02.172
Mm hmm.

309
00:13:02.833 --> 00:13:03.053
Yeah.

310
00:13:03.353 --> 00:13:09.278
Deeper, deeper than just feeding, you know, 12,000, 15,000, however many people were really there.

311
00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:11.419
Yeah.

312
00:13:11.479 --> 00:13:11.539
OK.

313
00:13:11.679 --> 00:13:13.721
Isn't that a picture for us in the church?

314
00:13:14.802 --> 00:13:15.482
For sure.

315
00:13:15.562 --> 00:13:17.404
Like people show up if you provide what they need.

316
00:13:17.424 --> 00:13:18.544
A hundred percent.

317
00:13:18.845 --> 00:13:19.165
Wow.

318
00:13:19.705 --> 00:13:19.926
Yeah.

319
00:13:20.846 --> 00:13:22.708
What they actually need, what they actually need.

320
00:13:23.068 --> 00:13:24.309
So they'll show up.

321
00:13:24.769 --> 00:13:25.450
They won't stay.

322
00:13:26.070 --> 00:13:26.731
That's the thing.

323
00:13:27.725 --> 00:13:32.310
They won't stay until that, you know, you can, it's easy to meet a felt need.

324
00:13:32.891 --> 00:13:33.151
Yeah.

325
00:13:33.531 --> 00:13:33.752
Yeah.

326
00:13:33.792 --> 00:13:39.618
But then to get to that, then to get to that real, I mean, what's the, what's a spiritual need?

327
00:13:39.678 --> 00:13:44.823
And for, so for a man, and I've, I've argued this for years, I, I believe that.

328
00:13:45.835 --> 00:13:47.496
I don't care if it's Paul, Chris, whoever.

329
00:13:48.456 --> 00:13:50.277
I can cut a man's heart three ways.

330
00:13:51.257 --> 00:13:55.378
And every man is going to have what I call the same three heart deficits.

331
00:13:55.398 --> 00:13:55.818
Tell me that.

332
00:13:56.719 --> 00:13:59.460
Every man's in need of encouragement and affirmation.

333
00:14:00.040 --> 00:14:02.621
Somewhere along the line, somebody told him he wasn't good enough.

334
00:14:03.467 --> 00:14:06.428
whether it was a football coach or an ex-wife, whatever.

335
00:14:06.708 --> 00:14:08.109
Somebody told him he wasn't good enough.

336
00:14:08.829 --> 00:14:10.130
Every man's in need of encouragement.

337
00:14:10.490 --> 00:14:12.651
Two, every man's in need of community.

338
00:14:13.731 --> 00:14:16.873
Somewhere along the line, every man feels like they're in it alone.

339
00:14:18.073 --> 00:14:21.255
And then three is what I call the agency deficit.

340
00:14:21.975 --> 00:14:23.456
Every man needs to be empowered.

341
00:14:23.876 --> 00:14:26.637
Every man has something in his life that he believes he can't overcome.

342
00:14:28.167 --> 00:14:39.391
And those three things, affirmation, community and agency, when you can start to meet that need, I call them heart deficits.

343
00:14:39.491 --> 00:14:43.753
Once you can start to meet those heart deficits in a man, bro, everything changes.

344
00:14:45.640 --> 00:14:49.722
So encouragement is also tied into definition, isn't it?

345
00:14:50.062 --> 00:14:50.442
That's it.

346
00:14:50.762 --> 00:14:51.142
That's right.

347
00:14:51.422 --> 00:14:51.962
Definition.

348
00:14:52.183 --> 00:14:52.383
Yeah.

349
00:14:52.443 --> 00:14:54.203
I think that reminds me of Gideon.

350
00:14:54.223 --> 00:14:56.444
You know, he's in a hole in the ground, right?

351
00:14:56.564 --> 00:14:56.964
Judges 6.

352
00:14:57.064 --> 00:14:59.125
He's in a hole in the ground.

353
00:15:01.586 --> 00:15:06.909
Theophany, Jesus shows up, angel of the Lord, says you're a mighty man of valor, essentially.

354
00:15:07.370 --> 00:15:08.630
He says, no, you don't know who I am.

355
00:15:08.650 --> 00:15:09.571
That's right.

356
00:15:09.911 --> 00:15:16.535
And he begins to proceed to explain explicitly, here's why I'm the national wimp.

357
00:15:16.755 --> 00:15:17.235
That's right.

358
00:15:17.476 --> 00:15:18.036
Right?

359
00:15:18.056 --> 00:15:20.918
And I've thought about that, Harp.

360
00:15:20.958 --> 00:15:22.279
Let's say he's 15, 16.

361
00:15:22.299 --> 00:15:23.019
You're a theologian.

362
00:15:23.239 --> 00:15:24.160
Somewhere around there, maybe?

363
00:15:24.280 --> 00:15:25.180
Yeah.

364
00:15:25.300 --> 00:15:26.001
15, 16 years old?

365
00:15:26.041 --> 00:15:26.141
Yep.

366
00:15:26.181 --> 00:15:26.261
Yep.

367
00:15:27.558 --> 00:15:32.903
And my question is, by the age of 15, you've got a definition, which is a part of what a father does.

368
00:15:33.143 --> 00:15:33.723
For sure.

369
00:15:33.743 --> 00:15:36.406
I want to talk about that a little bit with your children.

370
00:15:37.627 --> 00:15:45.234
And psychologists say by the age of between 7 and 9, 70% of your worldview gets formed.

371
00:15:45.454 --> 00:15:45.754
Oh, yeah.

372
00:15:45.774 --> 00:15:46.515
At a very young age.

373
00:15:47.315 --> 00:15:51.839
So my question is, or my, if you will, assignment on the whole thing, at the age of 15—

374
00:15:53.579 --> 00:15:54.900
This is his definition.

375
00:15:55.160 --> 00:15:57.042
And my question is, who told him that?

376
00:15:57.182 --> 00:15:57.642
That's right.

377
00:15:58.643 --> 00:15:59.343
Who told him that?

378
00:15:59.363 --> 00:16:00.124
Because remember what he says.

379
00:16:01.025 --> 00:16:06.729
I'm the least tribe, the least clan, the least family, the least member.

380
00:16:06.769 --> 00:16:11.873
Yeah, in a culture, in a nation, living in fear and hiding in the caves.

381
00:16:11.893 --> 00:16:12.874
That's right.

382
00:16:13.674 --> 00:16:14.435
So it's learned.

383
00:16:15.776 --> 00:16:17.577
That for sure is learned behavior.

384
00:16:17.597 --> 00:16:18.437
So who told him that?

385
00:16:18.557 --> 00:16:18.837
Right.

386
00:16:19.177 --> 00:16:20.137
So it's who told him that.

387
00:16:20.157 --> 00:16:22.838
So every man needs somebody who defines him.

388
00:16:23.078 --> 00:16:23.438
That's it.

389
00:16:23.598 --> 00:16:28.440
And that's what fatherlessness has created in our culture is a lot of men who have no definition.

390
00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:28.660
Yeah.

391
00:16:28.980 --> 00:16:30.640
If you don't have definition, you don't have a purpose.

392
00:16:30.660 --> 00:16:31.101
You can't.

393
00:16:31.161 --> 00:16:32.961
So you can't become what you can't define.

394
00:16:33.721 --> 00:16:42.364
And then secondly, I take it a step further and say, when a thing isn't rightly defined, the abuse of the thing is inevitable.

395
00:16:42.704 --> 00:16:42.904
Hmm.

396
00:16:44.123 --> 00:16:45.925
You know, and that's that that's with everything.

397
00:16:46.125 --> 00:16:52.370
If you don't if you don't rightly define the function and purpose of marriage, the abuse of or by is inevitable.

398
00:16:53.031 --> 00:16:58.495
When you don't rightly define the function and purpose of the church, the abuse of the church or by the church is inevitable.

399
00:16:59.076 --> 00:17:00.097
It's the same thing with manhood.

400
00:17:00.397 --> 00:17:03.320
If you don't if you don't rightly define the form and function.

401
00:17:04.282 --> 00:17:12.405
then you're going to, it's why Dallas Willard said God's chief aim is to find a man he can entrust with his power because we'll either neglect it or abuse it.

402
00:17:12.745 --> 00:17:19.408
And both are equally wrong instead of living into it, which is, which is what we, which is what God wants us to do.

403
00:17:19.628 --> 00:17:19.888
Right.

404
00:17:20.149 --> 00:17:20.329
Yeah.

405
00:17:20.409 --> 00:17:21.389
To become fully formed.

406
00:17:21.669 --> 00:17:22.049
That's it.

407
00:17:22.449 --> 00:17:22.630
Yeah.

408
00:17:22.790 --> 00:17:23.210
Community.

409
00:17:23.250 --> 00:17:24.030
I think it's a big thing.

410
00:17:24.050 --> 00:17:27.251
I always think of Elijah sitting under a tree, right?

411
00:17:28.032 --> 00:17:32.754
He's just raised a kid from the dead called fire from heaven among other things.

412
00:17:33.134 --> 00:17:33.234
Yeah.

413
00:17:33.254 --> 00:17:33.394
Yeah.

414
00:17:34.532 --> 00:17:35.953
And he's isolated.

415
00:17:37.353 --> 00:17:38.474
And says, hey, might as well kill me.

416
00:17:38.714 --> 00:17:39.454
I'm suicidal.

417
00:17:39.774 --> 00:17:40.554
That's right.

418
00:17:40.594 --> 00:17:40.975
Got nothing.

419
00:17:41.195 --> 00:17:43.336
And then God says, no, I got 7,000 other guys.

420
00:17:43.476 --> 00:17:43.656
Yeah.

421
00:17:43.736 --> 00:17:45.977
And my question is, why didn't Elijah know those guys?

422
00:17:46.297 --> 00:17:47.737
Yeah.

423
00:17:47.757 --> 00:17:51.199
I think we get sort of myopic, if you will, focused in ministry.

424
00:17:51.499 --> 00:17:52.059
For sure.

425
00:17:52.439 --> 00:17:54.820
That we miss community.

426
00:17:55.100 --> 00:17:58.442
Yeah, well, what do they call it, navel gazing?

427
00:17:58.582 --> 00:18:01.103
He was too busy looking down at his navel, bro, to see the 7,000.

428
00:18:02.082 --> 00:18:02.382
Yeah.

429
00:18:02.842 --> 00:18:05.084
And it's man, it's so interesting.

430
00:18:06.365 --> 00:18:08.226
I 36 hours ago, I was in Colorado.

431
00:18:08.246 --> 00:18:14.189
OK, speaking at this gathering and there was a new guy there.

432
00:18:14.750 --> 00:18:18.492
Very successful guy had had sold a company.

433
00:18:19.733 --> 00:18:26.737
I knew he was successful because he he drove up in a five hundred thousand dollar Rolls Royce Cullinan.

434
00:18:26.777 --> 00:18:28.578
Like like it was it was unbelievable.

435
00:18:28.950 --> 00:18:31.331
So this was not up in the off trail area.

436
00:18:31.411 --> 00:18:32.912
No, no, no, no, no, no.

437
00:18:32.952 --> 00:18:35.013
This is in the very nice part of Colorado.

438
00:18:35.753 --> 00:18:48.139
And, um, so fast forward a day, uh, I'm packing, I'm packing my gear to go to the airport and he pulls up, he pulls up behind me, rose down his window.

439
00:18:48.399 --> 00:18:50.660
And he just says, Hey man, I want you to know how lucky you are.

440
00:18:53.041 --> 00:18:54.782
And I said, unpack that.

441
00:18:55.515 --> 00:18:59.598
He said, the community that you have, he said, how fortunate are you?

442
00:19:00.398 --> 00:19:02.199
And the irony was not lost on me here.

443
00:19:02.519 --> 00:19:03.280
Here's a guy.

444
00:19:04.603 --> 00:19:09.484
uh, backing his half a million dollar car out of the driveway of his third home.

445
00:19:10.764 --> 00:19:11.004
Right.

446
00:19:11.425 --> 00:19:16.646
Successful by all the world standards telling me how fortunate I am.

447
00:19:17.066 --> 00:19:17.346
Yeah.

448
00:19:17.426 --> 00:19:17.626
Right.

449
00:19:18.146 --> 00:19:26.068
And, and, and the biggest thing missing, if, if, if, if I had to cut his heart open, I would say his greatest deficit was community.

450
00:19:26.188 --> 00:19:29.669
And when I give those three deficits affirmation, community agency, uh,

451
00:19:31.029 --> 00:19:33.050
For men, it's different.

452
00:19:33.350 --> 00:19:35.812
Like my biggest deficit may be affirmation.

453
00:19:36.152 --> 00:19:37.433
Yours may be agency.

454
00:19:37.613 --> 00:19:38.713
His may be community.

455
00:19:38.813 --> 00:19:42.495
My point is it touches every man at some level.

456
00:19:42.775 --> 00:19:43.336
At some level.

457
00:19:43.456 --> 00:19:44.336
At some level.

458
00:19:44.556 --> 00:19:49.839
Every man I've ever met cut his heart open, and he's going to have those three deficits.

459
00:19:50.019 --> 00:19:59.024
And as men's leaders, as church leaders, as churches in general, if you can start to speak to those deficits, bro, I think it's transformative.

460
00:19:59.044 --> 00:19:59.144
Yeah.

461
00:20:00.356 --> 00:20:02.537
Yeah, I totally agree with you.

462
00:20:02.577 --> 00:20:03.758
How does Better Man do that?

463
00:20:04.078 --> 00:20:09.741
This is a ministry you're a CEO of, which the Lord has blessed over the years.

464
00:20:10.141 --> 00:20:10.361
Sure.

465
00:20:10.521 --> 00:20:12.562
Really started with Robert Lewis, didn't it?

466
00:20:12.782 --> 00:20:14.563
Yeah, men's fraternity.

467
00:20:14.703 --> 00:20:19.145
Yeah, and then Modern Day Night, Megan Modern Day Night, Men's Fraternity.

468
00:20:19.205 --> 00:20:20.046
And then it was 33.

469
00:20:20.286 --> 00:20:21.406
Didn't 33 come out of that?

470
00:20:23.167 --> 00:20:24.848
And what a great trailblazer.

471
00:20:24.868 --> 00:20:25.828
It's incredible.

472
00:20:25.888 --> 00:20:27.728
Robert was still out there doing it.

473
00:20:27.929 --> 00:20:28.089
Yeah.

474
00:20:28.109 --> 00:20:28.749
He's not there.

475
00:20:28.769 --> 00:20:30.649
Matter of fact, he's building orphanages now.

476
00:20:30.669 --> 00:20:31.470
And that's right.

477
00:20:32.050 --> 00:20:41.953
Well, he's doing some discipleship programs and modern day night is getting ready to re re release in September with three new chapters.

478
00:20:42.453 --> 00:20:44.414
Oh, that's from the perspective of a grandparent.

479
00:20:45.334 --> 00:20:45.654
Oh, wow.

480
00:20:45.894 --> 00:20:46.094
Yeah.

481
00:20:46.134 --> 00:20:48.275
So, so he's super pumped about that right now.

482
00:20:48.295 --> 00:20:48.675
I like that.

483
00:20:49.115 --> 00:20:52.256
You know, I'd like to re release some of my books except fix them.

484
00:20:52.276 --> 00:20:52.696
Yeah.

485
00:20:54.703 --> 00:20:56.444
I think they call that rewrite.

486
00:20:56.584 --> 00:21:00.605
Yeah, once you put it in print, it's like, oh man, I don't know.

487
00:21:01.405 --> 00:21:04.386
I like to do that with some of my early sermons.

488
00:21:04.847 --> 00:21:05.147
Yeah.

489
00:21:05.387 --> 00:21:08.268
I'm like, gosh, they should have tarred and feathered that guy.

490
00:21:08.788 --> 00:21:10.408
Just an absolute heretic up there.

491
00:21:10.709 --> 00:21:11.789
Yeah, I've thought about that.

492
00:21:11.809 --> 00:21:13.650
Because I never wanted to be.

493
00:21:13.770 --> 00:21:16.811
Now you got saved in college?

494
00:21:17.471 --> 00:21:17.971
Right after.

495
00:21:18.331 --> 00:21:19.432
Right after college.

496
00:21:19.472 --> 00:21:20.392
So where'd you go to college?

497
00:21:21.433 --> 00:21:24.236
Um, so I went to grad school at the university of Louisville.

498
00:21:24.557 --> 00:21:25.077
Okay.

499
00:21:25.518 --> 00:21:26.118
Yeah.

500
00:21:26.138 --> 00:21:30.523
And I went to, I went to undergrad with, at a little Catholic university called Bellarmine.

501
00:21:30.983 --> 00:21:31.744
Bellarmine.

502
00:21:31.884 --> 00:21:32.165
Okay.

503
00:21:32.245 --> 00:21:36.529
And then you went to a university of Louisville for grad school.

504
00:21:36.549 --> 00:21:36.770
Yeah.

505
00:21:37.070 --> 00:21:38.331
And got saved right after that.

506
00:21:38.612 --> 00:21:39.472
It is man.

507
00:21:39.953 --> 00:21:40.794
L1C4.

508
00:21:41.835 --> 00:21:42.075
Really?

509
00:21:42.215 --> 00:21:43.557
Louisville first card forever.

510
00:21:44.059 --> 00:21:44.759
Is that what it is?

511
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:46.720
That's funny, man.

512
00:21:47.140 --> 00:21:49.841
It's also the home of Kentucky bourbon.

513
00:21:50.022 --> 00:21:51.862
It is home of Kentucky bourbon.

514
00:21:52.362 --> 00:21:53.243
So you went to Louisville.

515
00:21:53.403 --> 00:21:55.684
And then how do you come out of that?

516
00:21:55.804 --> 00:21:57.725
Because now you're in grad school.

517
00:21:57.745 --> 00:22:01.046
So you're kind of at the point where you're a more serious adult.

518
00:22:01.326 --> 00:22:01.506
Yeah.

519
00:22:01.826 --> 00:22:04.007
You're adulting at this point when you go to grad school.

520
00:22:04.067 --> 00:22:04.508
Yeah.

521
00:22:04.528 --> 00:22:07.409
I had just finished grad school and was getting ready to start law school.

522
00:22:08.209 --> 00:22:09.430
So I was just going to be a lawyer.

523
00:22:09.650 --> 00:22:11.091
That was the whole plan all along.

524
00:22:11.871 --> 00:22:14.592
So talking has been kind of a thing for you.

525
00:22:14.612 --> 00:22:15.593
A hundred percent.

526
00:22:15.693 --> 00:22:18.054
In fact, my been able to speak.

527
00:22:18.274 --> 00:22:23.677
In fact, the first time I was affirmed, Dr. Ruth Wagner, Bellarmine University.

528
00:22:23.837 --> 00:22:26.518
It's my second semester of my freshman year.

529
00:22:26.638 --> 00:22:28.159
I have public speaking one on one.

530
00:22:28.739 --> 00:22:28.939
Yeah.

531
00:22:29.360 --> 00:22:32.801
And she stops me after class one day and says, hey, do you have a moment?

532
00:22:32.821 --> 00:22:33.422
And I said, yeah.

533
00:22:33.442 --> 00:22:33.662
Yeah.

534
00:22:34.682 --> 00:22:37.623
She said, you're you're a good communicator.

535
00:22:37.784 --> 00:22:41.225
She said, you communicate in a way it holds people's attention.

536
00:22:41.765 --> 00:22:42.065
Wow.

537
00:22:42.306 --> 00:22:45.187
And she also said, I don't ever see you use notes.

538
00:22:45.447 --> 00:22:47.228
And I think you make up half of what you say.

539
00:22:48.572 --> 00:22:50.393
And I kid you not, this is a true story.

540
00:22:50.713 --> 00:22:52.574
She goes, have you ever thought about being a lawyer?

541
00:22:52.974 --> 00:22:55.056
Yeah, because you've got to make up stuff.

542
00:22:55.116 --> 00:22:56.136
It's unbelievable.

543
00:22:56.456 --> 00:22:58.397
And I said, no.

544
00:22:58.938 --> 00:23:02.019
And she said, and I did not know this.

545
00:23:02.760 --> 00:23:06.602
She said, our school, Bellarmine, it was Bellarmine College then.

546
00:23:06.662 --> 00:23:07.923
It's Bellarmine University now.

547
00:23:08.743 --> 00:23:11.565
She said, we're the mock trial national champions.

548
00:23:11.605 --> 00:23:12.985
We beat Harvard last year.

549
00:23:13.225 --> 00:23:13.506
Wow.

550
00:23:14.306 --> 00:23:15.827
And she said, my husband's the coach.

551
00:23:17.091 --> 00:23:19.073
Very prominent lawyer judge.

552
00:23:19.653 --> 00:23:20.734
She said he'd love to meet you.

553
00:23:21.034 --> 00:23:26.638
So as a freshman, which they typically don't do, they invited me to be a part of the mock trial team.

554
00:23:26.658 --> 00:23:32.783
So my my first suit I ever owned, they helped get the first time I ever flew on an airplane.

555
00:23:33.483 --> 00:23:37.626
I'm flying to Notre Dame to play Princeton and Notre Dame in a mock trial competition.

556
00:23:37.827 --> 00:23:38.027
Wow.

557
00:23:38.327 --> 00:23:39.388
And that begins this.

558
00:23:39.608 --> 00:23:45.253
It was the first person that had ever really looked at me and said, hey, you have a you have a gift.

559
00:23:46.053 --> 00:23:48.195
Man, you should think about using it in this way.

560
00:23:48.455 --> 00:23:48.675
Wow.

561
00:23:48.996 --> 00:23:54.120
And so, yeah, undergraduate was in political science, you know, parallel with Winston Churchill.

562
00:23:54.580 --> 00:23:54.860
Really?

563
00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:57.661
Yeah, because that's what happened to him when he was in school.

564
00:23:58.041 --> 00:24:03.442
When he was 11, 12, 13 years old, right in there, he was in a debate class.

565
00:24:03.682 --> 00:24:03.982
Oh, wow.

566
00:24:04.242 --> 00:24:04.682
Debate.

567
00:24:05.063 --> 00:24:10.544
And it's a whole story about his father and how his father didn't show up for his competition.

568
00:24:10.664 --> 00:24:11.144
Wow.

569
00:24:11.504 --> 00:24:13.925
How that created that thing in his life.

570
00:24:13.945 --> 00:24:15.505
You know, it's an amazing story.

571
00:24:15.545 --> 00:24:16.345
Yeah.

572
00:24:16.865 --> 00:24:20.746
But the parallel is... And so tell me about your home life then at that point.

573
00:24:20.826 --> 00:24:21.046
Yeah.

574
00:24:21.627 --> 00:24:21.827
Yeah.

575
00:24:23.407 --> 00:24:25.649
I mean, it was good in a sense.

576
00:24:25.669 --> 00:24:28.131
You know, I grew up in kind of backwoods, Kentucky.

577
00:24:29.372 --> 00:24:30.613
Super, super poor.

578
00:24:30.873 --> 00:24:31.854
You know, didn't have much.

579
00:24:31.994 --> 00:24:33.155
I had one sibling.

580
00:24:33.756 --> 00:24:38.560
He died of a drug overdose, which is which is not uncommon in that place and time.

581
00:24:38.660 --> 00:24:39.320
Older or younger?

582
00:24:39.420 --> 00:24:39.761
Younger.

583
00:24:39.881 --> 00:24:40.601
Younger than you.

584
00:24:40.621 --> 00:24:40.801
Yeah.

585
00:24:40.942 --> 00:24:41.282
Meth.

586
00:24:41.742 --> 00:24:42.263
What's his name?

587
00:24:42.543 --> 00:24:42.803
Yeah.

588
00:24:43.003 --> 00:24:43.464
BJ.

589
00:24:43.684 --> 00:24:43.844
BJ.

590
00:24:44.084 --> 00:24:44.705
Bobby Joe.

591
00:24:44.845 --> 00:24:45.125
Bobby Joe.

592
00:24:45.245 --> 00:24:45.966
Well, that's country.

593
00:24:46.406 --> 00:24:48.007
That's country before country is cool.

594
00:24:49.048 --> 00:24:52.932
And so he was four years younger, four or five years younger.

595
00:24:54.594 --> 00:24:57.437
Mom died of cancer, you know, smoked her whole life.

596
00:24:57.457 --> 00:24:57.918
How old were you?

597
00:24:59.583 --> 00:25:00.383
I was older then.

598
00:25:00.463 --> 00:25:03.064
I was, I was, uh, 29.

599
00:25:03.084 --> 00:25:04.425
Okay.

600
00:25:04.445 --> 00:25:04.665
Yeah.

601
00:25:04.685 --> 00:25:05.845
Come a follower of Christ by then.

602
00:25:06.005 --> 00:25:07.526
I had shortly before that.

603
00:25:07.546 --> 00:25:08.486
Was he involved?

604
00:25:08.966 --> 00:25:12.067
Uh, yeah, he was around, but I'm kind of a, like a functional orphan.

605
00:25:12.627 --> 00:25:16.249
So he was there, but he wasn't, he wasn't emotionally engaged.

606
00:25:16.269 --> 00:25:18.970
He wasn't, wasn't physically, wasn't seriously engaged.

607
00:25:19.010 --> 00:25:21.270
I don't, he's not a believer functioning alcoholic.

608
00:25:21.690 --> 00:25:22.331
I love my dad.

609
00:25:22.351 --> 00:25:23.631
I want to honor my dad.

610
00:25:23.651 --> 00:25:24.551
My dad worked hard.

611
00:25:24.611 --> 00:25:25.672
He taught me how to work hard.

612
00:25:25.992 --> 00:25:26.272
Yeah.

613
00:25:26.732 --> 00:25:29.735
Um, but, but not a whole lot of direction.

614
00:25:29.815 --> 00:25:46.688
So, you know, where, where I'm from, you know, the best you could possibly hope for would be to graduate and, you know, get a job at one of the automotive plants or, you know, I was just gonna say that it's just get out of school, go work at the GM plant, work for 50 years.

615
00:25:47.128 --> 00:25:47.348
Yeah.

616
00:25:47.569 --> 00:25:48.729
And that's gone away.

617
00:25:49.210 --> 00:25:49.370
Yeah.

618
00:25:49.410 --> 00:25:55.235
Even for the guys working at GM that are listening right now, you know, that 10 years from now, that's going to shift.

619
00:25:55.515 --> 00:25:55.715
Yeah.

620
00:25:55.955 --> 00:25:57.236
That's going to change.

621
00:25:57.516 --> 00:25:58.697
Which was honorable.

622
00:25:58.737 --> 00:26:02.260
Like, that's an incredibly honorable thing.

623
00:26:02.300 --> 00:26:03.721
Hard working.

624
00:26:04.102 --> 00:26:05.623
Got a lot of friends in that kind of world.

625
00:26:05.763 --> 00:26:05.943
Yeah.

626
00:26:06.043 --> 00:26:09.066
And I never, you know, first person in my family to graduate college.

627
00:26:09.786 --> 00:26:10.607
First person to.

628
00:26:10.647 --> 00:26:11.307
Oh, you and J.D.

629
00:26:11.347 --> 00:26:11.648
Vance.

630
00:26:11.868 --> 00:26:12.328
Come on.

631
00:26:12.548 --> 00:26:14.110
We have a lot of similarities, me and J.D.

632
00:26:14.130 --> 00:26:14.770
Vance.

633
00:26:14.790 --> 00:26:16.391
First person in my family to own a home.

634
00:26:17.488 --> 00:26:17.908
Really?

635
00:26:17.928 --> 00:26:19.469
Didn't his family come out of Kentucky?

636
00:26:19.849 --> 00:26:21.509
Oh, yeah.

637
00:26:21.549 --> 00:26:22.790
Wasn't that his grandmother?

638
00:26:22.810 --> 00:26:24.330
He used to stand at the front door with a .45.

639
00:26:24.470 --> 00:26:28.752
Yeah, she shot his grandfather with a gun, told him not to come home drunk, and he did.

640
00:26:29.672 --> 00:26:33.713
Yeah, he was more kind of northeastern kind of Appalachia.

641
00:26:33.934 --> 00:26:34.914
He's a few years older.

642
00:26:34.994 --> 00:26:37.695
Yeah, and I was more central kind of western.

643
00:26:38.295 --> 00:26:39.635
Yeah, where they make all the bourbon.

644
00:26:39.695 --> 00:26:41.956
I grew up at the foot of Knob Creek Hill, Knob Creek Bourbon.

645
00:26:42.336 --> 00:26:42.676
Really?

646
00:26:42.696 --> 00:26:43.817
Yeah, I literally...

647
00:26:44.717 --> 00:26:48.120
was reared in a trailer at the bottom of Knob Creek Hill.

648
00:26:48.900 --> 00:26:50.402
Single wide, not even double wide.

649
00:26:50.522 --> 00:26:51.543
Single wide, baby.

650
00:26:51.703 --> 00:26:54.925
Dude, that is a great story.

651
00:26:55.206 --> 00:27:00.370
I mean, that's the story that has resonance, man.

652
00:27:00.390 --> 00:27:00.590
Yeah.

653
00:27:00.770 --> 00:27:03.172
It's really something.

654
00:27:03.212 --> 00:27:05.274
So now you come out of, you're in grad school?

655
00:27:05.474 --> 00:27:09.777
Well, so high school there, I need to give credit to Ms. Ross.

656
00:27:09.817 --> 00:27:11.399
She was my high school English teacher.

657
00:27:11.979 --> 00:27:12.860
She saw something in me.

658
00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:14.041
It's amazing it was women.

659
00:27:14.573 --> 00:27:15.234
Isn't that something?

660
00:27:15.274 --> 00:27:16.775
I had the same thing.

661
00:27:16.795 --> 00:27:19.317
I'm trying to remember her name in creative writing.

662
00:27:19.537 --> 00:27:19.977
Come on.

663
00:27:20.077 --> 00:27:21.758
And she said, you're a great writer.

664
00:27:21.778 --> 00:27:22.699
I love that.

665
00:27:22.979 --> 00:27:28.784
And, you know, isn't that interesting how the impact of a teacher, negative or positive?

666
00:27:28.904 --> 00:27:29.344
That's right.

667
00:27:29.664 --> 00:27:33.687
She would, Miss Ross would make me learn 10 new words every week.

668
00:27:34.748 --> 00:27:35.088
Wow.

669
00:27:35.228 --> 00:27:36.569
To expand my vocabulary.

670
00:27:36.609 --> 00:27:38.811
Oh, you grew up in Kentucky.

671
00:27:38.971 --> 00:27:39.612
You only know 27.

672
00:27:39.672 --> 00:27:39.972
Amplified.

673
00:27:43.221 --> 00:27:43.882
Directional.

674
00:27:43.902 --> 00:27:44.522
Unreasonable.

675
00:27:44.942 --> 00:27:46.423
Light is white and bright.

676
00:27:47.504 --> 00:27:49.825
She would make me learn 10 new words each week.

677
00:27:49.845 --> 00:27:54.408
So she instilled in me this kind of love of the English language.

678
00:27:54.448 --> 00:27:54.768
Wow.

679
00:27:55.409 --> 00:27:56.529
Isn't that something?

680
00:27:56.549 --> 00:28:00.432
Then you go to college, you have Dr. Ruth Wagner who says, hey, you can communicate.

681
00:28:01.332 --> 00:28:07.337
And then if you're, you know, if you're thinking about practicing law or doing anything like that, it's it's just reading.

682
00:28:07.898 --> 00:28:09.559
So then that's when I fell in love with reading.

683
00:28:09.879 --> 00:28:11.160
And I love to read.

684
00:28:11.441 --> 00:28:14.443
People ask me all the time, you know, what makes a good communicator?

685
00:28:14.463 --> 00:28:15.364
What makes a good writer?

686
00:28:15.444 --> 00:28:16.285
And you know this well.

687
00:28:16.325 --> 00:28:17.085
You're a good reader.

688
00:28:17.246 --> 00:28:17.786
Yeah, you read.

689
00:28:17.926 --> 00:28:18.366
That's it.

690
00:28:18.907 --> 00:28:21.189
And you read things that enlarge your life.

691
00:28:21.429 --> 00:28:21.629
Yes.

692
00:28:21.809 --> 00:28:23.371
And I also read for enjoyment.

693
00:28:23.991 --> 00:28:26.133
I've got three or four authors.

694
00:28:26.173 --> 00:28:35.560
James Lee Burke, one of the greatest writers in the history of the world, writes really dense detective novels.

695
00:28:35.580 --> 00:28:36.240
That's right.

696
00:28:36.561 --> 00:28:38.502
Based in New Iberia, Louisiana.

697
00:28:38.522 --> 00:28:39.363
That's incredible.

698
00:28:39.443 --> 00:28:42.285
And it's just bad stuff happening to a lot of people.

699
00:28:43.126 --> 00:28:45.688
And the way he writes is incredible.

700
00:28:45.708 --> 00:28:46.989
He's won all kinds of awards.

701
00:28:47.767 --> 00:28:51.349
But it, you know, and then you read, you know, the greats.

702
00:28:51.710 --> 00:28:52.010
Yeah.

703
00:28:52.050 --> 00:28:53.311
The Hemingways of the world.

704
00:28:53.431 --> 00:28:53.851
Oh, yeah.

705
00:28:54.071 --> 00:28:57.013
And then you read, you know, the Leonard Sweets of the world.

706
00:28:57.714 --> 00:29:00.135
You know, the guys that just enlarge your life.

707
00:29:00.275 --> 00:29:00.736
Yeah.

708
00:29:00.796 --> 00:29:04.658
You know, he and Frank Viola did that series on the Jesus series.

709
00:29:04.839 --> 00:29:05.219
Oh, yeah.

710
00:29:05.259 --> 00:29:05.919
I know.

711
00:29:05.979 --> 00:29:07.100
Books are about 800 pages.

712
00:29:07.460 --> 00:29:07.701
Yeah.

713
00:29:07.781 --> 00:29:08.881
Or Victor Davis Hanson.

714
00:29:09.242 --> 00:29:11.043
I just finished the history of World War II.

715
00:29:11.243 --> 00:29:11.683
Wow.

716
00:29:11.743 --> 00:29:12.444
I listened to it.

717
00:29:12.684 --> 00:29:12.904
Yeah.

718
00:29:13.064 --> 00:29:13.504
It was 48 hours.

719
00:29:14.447 --> 00:29:14.947
Wow.

720
00:29:15.607 --> 00:29:16.428
And I was working out.

721
00:29:17.148 --> 00:29:18.928
So of course it took, you know, three years.

722
00:29:19.128 --> 00:29:34.793
I did the, um, I did what they, I don't know the name of it, but the subtitle is World War II, but it's what they say, but it's the whole book is just firsthand accounts of World War II all the way through the beginning through, you know, Normandy.

723
00:29:34.833 --> 00:29:35.953
And it's, it's incredible.

724
00:29:35.973 --> 00:29:38.374
Those guys did incredible, incredible.

725
00:29:38.414 --> 00:29:39.995
How did you come to Christ then?

726
00:29:40.295 --> 00:29:40.895
How'd that happen?

727
00:29:41.095 --> 00:29:44.857
Yeah, so right after grad school, I was taken.

728
00:29:44.877 --> 00:29:47.298
I just aced constitutional law.

729
00:29:47.338 --> 00:29:48.778
I was super proud of myself.

730
00:29:48.798 --> 00:29:49.779
Wow.

731
00:29:49.979 --> 00:29:53.741
And for some odd reason, I was feeling low.

732
00:29:54.961 --> 00:29:58.543
So I asked a buddy from grad school, where does hope come from?

733
00:30:00.755 --> 00:30:01.335
Did you really?

734
00:30:01.436 --> 00:30:01.616
Yeah.

735
00:30:01.636 --> 00:30:03.157
It was like this philosophical.

736
00:30:04.278 --> 00:30:06.659
And he said, man, you should come to church with me on Wednesday night.

737
00:30:07.280 --> 00:30:08.000
Come on, man.

738
00:30:08.100 --> 00:30:08.961
And I said, nah.

739
00:30:09.161 --> 00:30:11.223
The question is, where does hope come from?

740
00:30:11.243 --> 00:30:12.263
Yeah, where does hope come from?

741
00:30:12.363 --> 00:30:13.764
And you're already on a track.

742
00:30:14.145 --> 00:30:15.406
Yeah, my brother had died.

743
00:30:16.106 --> 00:30:16.506
Yeah.

744
00:30:18.087 --> 00:30:27.114
You know, pretty, as far as a 26-year-old goes, I got it together, you know, have enough girlfriends, have just enough money in my pocket.

745
00:30:27.134 --> 00:30:27.754
Like, it's okay.

746
00:30:27.955 --> 00:30:28.155
Yeah.

747
00:30:28.675 --> 00:30:29.336
But it's empty.

748
00:30:30.517 --> 00:30:31.959
And so I said, where does hope come from?

749
00:30:32.119 --> 00:30:34.001
And he's like, man, you should come to church.

750
00:30:34.261 --> 00:30:34.862
I said, no.

751
00:30:35.643 --> 00:30:36.403
I'll never forget it.

752
00:30:36.423 --> 00:30:39.186
He said, there's free Chick-fil-A in college girls.

753
00:30:39.407 --> 00:30:40.348
I said, I'm in.

754
00:30:41.629 --> 00:30:43.611
Like, if it starts at 7, I'll be there at 6.

755
00:30:43.671 --> 00:30:44.032
Yeah.

756
00:30:45.403 --> 00:30:47.385
That's exactly hands as people come in.

757
00:30:47.405 --> 00:30:47.845
That's right.

758
00:30:47.865 --> 00:30:49.207
Like I'll greet you.

759
00:30:49.247 --> 00:30:50.148
You need me to greet her.

760
00:30:50.748 --> 00:30:53.191
And so like, that's exactly what got me to church.

761
00:30:53.211 --> 00:30:55.433
He said, there's free Chick-fil-A in college girls.

762
00:30:55.793 --> 00:30:56.594
And I said, all right.

763
00:30:56.674 --> 00:31:00.238
So I went, I went to church and then I kept, he dropped off.

764
00:31:00.278 --> 00:31:00.878
I kept going.

765
00:31:02.080 --> 00:31:02.640
True story.

766
00:31:04.082 --> 00:31:09.347
And, uh, one night, man, I'm just sitting under Paul Moomaw is preaching the gospel and,

767
00:31:11.158 --> 00:31:13.280
It was like a light bulb went off.

768
00:31:13.401 --> 00:31:16.345
Not only had I rejected God, I wanted to be God.

769
00:31:17.218 --> 00:31:21.602
Okay, how many times had you gone to this meeting?

770
00:31:21.763 --> 00:31:22.724
Probably seven or eight.

771
00:31:23.184 --> 00:31:23.484
Really?

772
00:31:23.524 --> 00:31:24.866
So now you're in a few months.

773
00:31:25.606 --> 00:31:26.768
It wasn't like, bam.

774
00:31:27.548 --> 00:31:29.210
But something kept drawing you back.

775
00:31:29.250 --> 00:31:31.572
And it wasn't just Chick-fil-A by the fourth or fifth time.

776
00:31:31.652 --> 00:31:31.873
Right.

777
00:31:31.993 --> 00:31:34.435
Yeah, the community was incredible.

778
00:31:34.635 --> 00:31:34.836
Wow.

779
00:31:34.896 --> 00:31:35.737
It was incredible.

780
00:31:36.417 --> 00:31:40.001
And then the joy that some of these people seemed to have.

781
00:31:41.422 --> 00:31:42.502
That was awesome.

782
00:31:43.223 --> 00:31:44.923
I can't tell you how many men have told me that.

783
00:31:44.943 --> 00:31:46.083
They say, I'm with this place.

784
00:31:46.804 --> 00:31:48.064
They all had this joy.

785
00:31:48.364 --> 00:31:48.564
Yeah.

786
00:31:48.644 --> 00:31:49.964
I couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

787
00:31:50.024 --> 00:31:51.525
Yeah, it was great.

788
00:31:51.865 --> 00:31:56.486
And then coming to the realization, man, my life changed.

789
00:31:56.806 --> 00:31:58.187
I remember going home that night.

790
00:31:59.027 --> 00:31:59.908
I had two roommates.

791
00:32:00.008 --> 00:32:05.693
One of them had played for the Boston Celtics and had had bad knee thing.

792
00:32:05.753 --> 00:32:12.760
But I remember going home and the only verse I knew was for as as for me and my house will serve the Lord.

793
00:32:12.900 --> 00:32:13.280
Oh, wow.

794
00:32:13.620 --> 00:32:18.905
So I wrote it on a piece of paper and I nailed it above my door of where we lived.

795
00:32:19.025 --> 00:32:21.748
And I remember my roommates come out there looking at it and they're like, what is that?

796
00:32:21.808 --> 00:32:22.789
I'm like, man, I'm not sure.

797
00:32:25.232 --> 00:32:26.594
But I know that's what I want.

798
00:32:26.614 --> 00:32:27.816
I said, but I said, but I want that.

799
00:32:27.836 --> 00:32:29.219
Because hope's coming from that.

800
00:32:29.499 --> 00:32:29.860
That's it.

801
00:32:29.880 --> 00:32:31.302
And they said, well, what does that mean?

802
00:32:32.565 --> 00:32:33.867
And I kid you not, Paul.

803
00:32:33.927 --> 00:32:37.713
I said, well, I think it means we can't have girls in the house after 10 o'clock.

804
00:32:39.801 --> 00:32:41.984
And I don't know why 10 o'clock was magical.

805
00:32:42.004 --> 00:32:44.066
I guess nothing good can happen after 10 o'clock.

806
00:32:44.807 --> 00:32:46.729
And the guy that played for the Celtics looks at me.

807
00:32:46.749 --> 00:32:48.732
He goes, Harp, are you serious?

808
00:32:49.493 --> 00:32:51.795
I said, yeah, man, I've been born again.

809
00:32:51.815 --> 00:32:53.037
I'm following Jesus now.

810
00:32:53.057 --> 00:32:54.719
I don't think we have girls in the house after 10.

811
00:32:55.239 --> 00:32:56.401
He moved out on Saturday.

812
00:32:57.591 --> 00:32:58.651
He moved out.

813
00:32:58.711 --> 00:32:59.571
True story.

814
00:32:59.992 --> 00:33:01.212
Two days later, he moved out.

815
00:33:03.973 --> 00:33:04.633
I can't do this.

816
00:33:04.933 --> 00:33:06.393
He wasn't even going out until 10.

817
00:33:06.433 --> 00:33:07.033
That's right.

818
00:33:07.353 --> 00:33:10.114
And then the next day, I turn on the TV.

819
00:33:10.194 --> 00:33:11.114
This is so bad.

820
00:33:11.674 --> 00:33:15.475
Thank God for grace that the Lord has shown me.

821
00:33:15.895 --> 00:33:17.156
But we were still in cable.

822
00:33:17.636 --> 00:33:20.416
We had a buddy at the cable company, so he had wired us up.

823
00:33:20.916 --> 00:33:23.277
And then I'm sitting there watching it and convicted.

824
00:33:23.497 --> 00:33:25.998
And I said, oh, I can't steal.

825
00:33:26.218 --> 00:33:27.038
I follow Jesus.

826
00:33:28.379 --> 00:33:30.361
So I went out back and I cut the cable.

827
00:33:31.161 --> 00:33:35.685
And my roommates, I remember later that day, my roommates were like, what happened to the cable?

828
00:33:35.785 --> 00:33:37.867
And I was so, I didn't know what to tell them.

829
00:33:37.907 --> 00:33:39.469
So I told them the wind knocked it out.

830
00:33:39.689 --> 00:33:41.511
I guess I didn't mind lying.

831
00:33:41.531 --> 00:33:44.533
But I'm like, I guess, I guess the wind knocked it out.

832
00:33:44.573 --> 00:33:44.753
Right.

833
00:33:44.794 --> 00:33:46.355
I couldn't tell them that I went and cut it.

834
00:33:46.375 --> 00:33:50.318
So now you cut the cable in order to be a man of integrity and then lied about it.

835
00:33:50.339 --> 00:33:51.359
Then I didn't lie about it.

836
00:33:52.300 --> 00:33:55.223
And so I was so, so lost.

837
00:33:55.363 --> 00:33:56.023
So good.

838
00:33:56.063 --> 00:33:56.664
But it wasn't.

839
00:33:56.744 --> 00:33:57.504
It wasn't until.

840
00:33:57.745 --> 00:33:59.166
But nobody told you this.

841
00:33:59.366 --> 00:34:00.567
This was something that.

842
00:34:01.608 --> 00:34:03.930
that the Holy Spirit revealed to you.

843
00:34:04.170 --> 00:34:04.390
Yeah.

844
00:34:04.730 --> 00:34:05.951
You know, this is that C.S.

845
00:34:05.991 --> 00:34:11.915
Lewis thing where he says, hey, there is something in the heart of every man called moral law.

846
00:34:12.076 --> 00:34:12.456
Come on.

847
00:34:12.476 --> 00:34:20.141
There's something where you know, he said, something's wrong here and this country over here, you know, 10,000 miles away, it's wrong there.

848
00:34:20.261 --> 00:34:21.763
It's wrong to take some of this stuff here.

849
00:34:22.563 --> 00:34:24.944
He said, why is there an overarching moral law?

850
00:34:24.984 --> 00:34:25.364
Come on.

851
00:34:25.464 --> 00:34:28.965
And he began to believe, OK, this has got to come from a personality.

852
00:34:29.225 --> 00:34:29.466
Yeah.

853
00:34:29.746 --> 00:34:30.086
Wow.

854
00:34:30.106 --> 00:34:32.827
Where his faith started moving towards.

855
00:34:32.867 --> 00:34:34.587
And then, of course, J.R. Tolkien.

856
00:34:34.848 --> 00:34:35.048
Yeah.

857
00:34:35.148 --> 00:34:36.008
So it's walking through.

858
00:34:36.048 --> 00:34:37.929
Well, that comes from that's it.

859
00:34:37.949 --> 00:34:39.469
We're arcing presence of Paul.

860
00:34:39.489 --> 00:34:40.109
That's that.

861
00:34:40.250 --> 00:34:41.290
That's the biggest thing.

862
00:34:41.730 --> 00:34:44.211
So fast forward three months.

863
00:34:44.991 --> 00:34:46.472
I have a 70 year old.

864
00:34:47.788 --> 00:34:52.595
retired pipe fitter look at me and ask me, do you know what God wants from you?

865
00:34:53.716 --> 00:34:57.722
And I said, no, he said, actually, he looked at me.

866
00:34:57.762 --> 00:34:59.805
He said, you have the countenance of the Lord on you.

867
00:35:00.245 --> 00:35:01.908
And I said, bro, I have no idea what that means.

868
00:35:04.125 --> 00:35:06.346
And then he says, do you know what God wants from you?

869
00:35:06.366 --> 00:35:07.006
And I said, no.

870
00:35:07.167 --> 00:35:09.468
He said he desires obedience before sacrifice.

871
00:35:09.628 --> 00:35:09.848
Wow.

872
00:35:10.068 --> 00:35:11.489
He said, do you know where that's at in his word?

873
00:35:11.509 --> 00:35:12.109
And I said, no.

874
00:35:12.929 --> 00:35:14.830
So he starts walking me through the Bible.

875
00:35:15.030 --> 00:35:15.771
Wow.

876
00:35:15.791 --> 00:35:19.973
And that 70 year old man became, you know, his name was Don.

877
00:35:20.633 --> 00:35:21.673
And then there was Jim.

878
00:35:22.734 --> 00:35:23.594
And then there was Kevin.

879
00:35:24.815 --> 00:35:26.075
And then there was Bill.

880
00:35:27.116 --> 00:35:29.617
And today it's men like you.

881
00:35:31.773 --> 00:35:33.395
I thought that was normative.

882
00:35:34.075 --> 00:35:39.301
So I thought every young man that put his hand up and surrendered to Christ.

883
00:35:40.134 --> 00:35:44.235
I thought all of a sudden some begins there was an army of men that would come around of him.

884
00:35:44.836 --> 00:35:49.017
What I've learned after 20 years of ministry now, bro, I was an exception.

885
00:35:50.017 --> 00:35:51.698
Most most men never.

886
00:35:52.178 --> 00:35:56.820
I had a guy tell me one time he said, Chris, coming to know Jesus was the loneliest I'd ever been.

887
00:35:57.460 --> 00:36:00.621
He said, everybody up until that point wanted me to meet Christ.

888
00:36:01.281 --> 00:36:04.042
He said, but when I did, there was nobody to walk with me afterwards.

889
00:36:06.149 --> 00:36:10.571
Man, that is almost a parallel to the, are you pro birth or pro life?

890
00:36:10.651 --> 00:36:10.912
Right.

891
00:36:11.372 --> 00:36:12.993
There's a lot of people pro birth.

892
00:36:13.233 --> 00:36:13.513
That's right.

893
00:36:13.533 --> 00:36:16.354
What do we, how do we take care of kids after that?

894
00:36:16.374 --> 00:36:18.856
So pro life is a long run.

895
00:36:19.176 --> 00:36:20.317
That's a good word.

896
00:36:20.577 --> 00:36:22.137
It's a, it's the long run.

897
00:36:22.438 --> 00:36:25.599
I'm pro that person becoming who God created them to be.

898
00:36:25.619 --> 00:36:26.140
That's right.

899
00:36:26.540 --> 00:36:32.363
And so, uh, man, that, and that's, don't you see now you're, like I said, CEO, better man.

900
00:36:33.770 --> 00:36:34.911
Which is something you moved in.

901
00:36:34.931 --> 00:36:36.093
You were a principal of a school.

902
00:36:36.333 --> 00:36:36.673
Yeah.

903
00:36:36.693 --> 00:36:37.154
Is that right?

904
00:36:37.454 --> 00:36:38.375
Yeah, by accident.

905
00:36:38.555 --> 00:36:39.276
By accident.

906
00:36:39.677 --> 00:36:41.419
You've pastored at churches.

907
00:36:41.539 --> 00:36:42.520
Yeah, three.

908
00:36:42.780 --> 00:36:47.145
How do you get into, like you moved away from law then.

909
00:36:47.385 --> 00:36:47.586
Yeah.

910
00:36:47.986 --> 00:36:49.328
Right, right from the legal thing.

911
00:36:49.368 --> 00:36:49.588
Yeah.

912
00:36:50.068 --> 00:36:52.671
And moved right into doing some sort of full-time job.

913
00:36:53.543 --> 00:36:54.924
A church position or what?

914
00:36:54.984 --> 00:36:55.625
What happened?

915
00:36:55.745 --> 00:36:55.945
Yeah.

916
00:36:55.965 --> 00:36:56.285
Yeah.

917
00:36:56.325 --> 00:37:00.008
It's one of those things where, you know, a church tapped me.

918
00:37:00.108 --> 00:37:01.469
The church I was at tapped me.

919
00:37:01.649 --> 00:37:03.830
You know, they're like, hey, this guy's winsome.

920
00:37:03.850 --> 00:37:04.751
He can communicate.

921
00:37:05.211 --> 00:37:08.514
You know, let's give him a microphone, which was not great.

922
00:37:09.074 --> 00:37:09.494
That was...

923
00:37:10.415 --> 00:37:15.137
There is something to that whole probably shouldn't give a new believer a lot of authority and position.

924
00:37:15.858 --> 00:37:18.119
And so I had to learn the hard way through.

925
00:37:18.139 --> 00:37:20.840
You know, I was at that church for a couple of years.

926
00:37:21.200 --> 00:37:22.220
I planted a church.

927
00:37:22.281 --> 00:37:23.581
I was there for a couple of years.

928
00:37:24.321 --> 00:37:27.423
And then I was at a church in Oklahoma City for a couple of years.

929
00:37:28.091 --> 00:37:29.432
All right, so church life.

930
00:37:29.612 --> 00:37:33.574
Okay, here's my thing right now.

931
00:37:33.614 --> 00:37:34.955
Mark Matlock and I were talking.

932
00:37:35.235 --> 00:37:36.476
Love that dude.

933
00:37:36.536 --> 00:37:38.377
He's Barna and all that stuff.

934
00:37:38.397 --> 00:37:41.098
He's just an incredible resource of research.

935
00:37:41.878 --> 00:37:45.140
He says the American church, he said, we're alive and vibrant.

936
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:48.382
More and more people are open to talking about Jesus.

937
00:37:48.802 --> 00:37:53.645
He said nine out of ten people in general that you meet that are unchurched,

938
00:37:54.703 --> 00:38:00.525
don't mind talking about Jesus or things that are right or morality or very open to spirituality.

939
00:38:00.645 --> 00:38:06.248
He said, yet the growth of the church, and I'm just talking about the United States, Western hemisphere, let's say.

940
00:38:06.828 --> 00:38:08.489
He said the growth of the church, though, is static.

941
00:38:08.809 --> 00:38:09.129
For sure.

942
00:38:09.149 --> 00:38:11.470
I mean, why is that, Chris?

943
00:38:11.510 --> 00:38:12.370
What's happening there?

944
00:38:12.810 --> 00:38:13.011
Yeah.

945
00:38:13.191 --> 00:38:14.151
Are we not disciples?

946
00:38:14.251 --> 00:38:15.552
What's happening with our young men?

947
00:38:15.852 --> 00:38:18.413
I mean, we got young men coming by the tens of thousands.

948
00:38:18.433 --> 00:38:18.593
Yeah.

949
00:38:19.597 --> 00:38:20.978
Dude, what's the deficit?

950
00:38:21.118 --> 00:38:21.479
Yeah.

951
00:38:21.699 --> 00:38:26.123
So, so, so interesting on not this Monday, but next Monday.

952
00:38:27.103 --> 00:38:28.104
And this isn't a flex.

953
00:38:29.225 --> 00:38:30.386
I'm actually really humbled.

954
00:38:31.147 --> 00:38:36.211
The head of the Greek Orthodox Church in North America has invited me to have lunch with him.

955
00:38:36.892 --> 00:38:40.455
So I'm flying to Manhattan to have lunch with this guy.

956
00:38:41.692 --> 00:38:45.055
And Greek Orthodoxy, it's next to Catholicism.

957
00:38:45.175 --> 00:38:49.258
It's the fastest growing denomination religion for young men today.

958
00:38:49.798 --> 00:38:49.958
Wow.

959
00:38:50.559 --> 00:38:52.781
And so I've been doing some pre-work.

960
00:38:52.801 --> 00:38:55.463
I don't want to show up like a dumb hick from Kentucky.

961
00:38:55.503 --> 00:38:56.363
So I've been doing some.

962
00:38:56.924 --> 00:39:03.129
I've been in some background and just watching over the last two years how Greek Orthodoxy has grown and what they're saying.

963
00:39:03.929 --> 00:39:08.050
And, and bro, it comes back to, so it comes back to a few things, right?

964
00:39:08.310 --> 00:39:10.150
It's, it's stable.

965
00:39:10.711 --> 00:39:15.732
So this idea of catechesis and catechism, right?

966
00:39:15.792 --> 00:39:22.273
The, the repetition men, men crave that stability, right?

967
00:39:22.953 --> 00:39:30.135
Because we live in a world that is literally as the Bible describes built on sifting sand,

968
00:39:30.855 --> 00:39:32.036
I mean, it's just sand.

969
00:39:32.316 --> 00:39:32.577
Right.

970
00:39:33.197 --> 00:39:36.900
And so so a lot of young men, they they see this.

971
00:39:36.981 --> 00:39:37.201
Right.

972
00:39:37.501 --> 00:39:41.625
So take like Instagram, for example, is I call it a sandcastle.

973
00:39:42.345 --> 00:39:42.926
Yeah.

974
00:39:43.146 --> 00:39:47.130
You know, it's it's full of a lot of men selling maps to mountains they've never climbed.

975
00:39:48.118 --> 00:39:48.378
Right.

976
00:39:48.738 --> 00:39:52.140
And and and the young men see that.

977
00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:52.461
Right.

978
00:39:52.481 --> 00:39:55.582
So they're looking for for something that's that's that's stable.

979
00:39:55.642 --> 00:39:56.003
Right.

980
00:39:56.123 --> 00:39:57.504
That the proof is in the pudding.

981
00:39:57.524 --> 00:40:03.547
The second thing is it's it's borderline stoic.

982
00:40:03.747 --> 00:40:04.668
It's so practical.

983
00:40:05.555 --> 00:40:05.875
Yeah.

984
00:40:06.556 --> 00:40:06.796
Right.

985
00:40:06.856 --> 00:40:09.937
And there's there's something young men today are craving discipline.

986
00:40:10.437 --> 00:40:15.800
It's it's it's why it's why the whole the Spartan thing is all the rage now.

987
00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:18.601
You know, all this stuff that's come up in the last five, 10 years.

988
00:40:19.001 --> 00:40:24.484
It's why guys like Rogan, guys like Tate, guys like who's the philosopher out of Canada.

989
00:40:24.504 --> 00:40:26.245
I wouldn't put Rogan and Tate in the same.

990
00:40:26.785 --> 00:40:26.965
Right.

991
00:40:27.185 --> 00:40:29.687
Well, and Peterson, right?

992
00:40:29.767 --> 00:40:30.687
There's this.

993
00:40:30.787 --> 00:40:31.228
It's this.

994
00:40:31.408 --> 00:40:33.149
It's this.

995
00:40:33.169 --> 00:40:33.609
That's right.

996
00:40:33.649 --> 00:40:35.250
Towards the discipline of my life.

997
00:40:35.310 --> 00:40:35.670
Come on.

998
00:40:35.690 --> 00:40:37.231
Come the man I was designed to be.

999
00:40:37.331 --> 00:40:37.731
Yeah.

1000
00:40:37.911 --> 00:40:40.353
And orthodoxy, they're high on that.

1001
00:40:41.253 --> 00:40:41.373
Right.

1002
00:40:41.393 --> 00:40:42.354
They're high on practice.

1003
00:40:42.414 --> 00:40:42.714
Yeah.

1004
00:40:43.394 --> 00:40:43.614
Right.

1005
00:40:43.654 --> 00:40:45.796
So and then add.

1006
00:40:46.336 --> 00:40:46.496
Yeah.

1007
00:40:46.536 --> 00:40:48.357
And then add some of the tradition in there.

1008
00:40:48.477 --> 00:40:52.379
You men are especially, I think, young men.

1009
00:40:52.439 --> 00:40:53.180
You know, we spent.

1010
00:40:53.800 --> 00:40:57.706
Paul, we spent so many decades proving that the Bible is true.

1011
00:40:59.708 --> 00:41:02.873
I think the next big move is proving that the Bible works.

1012
00:41:04.910 --> 00:41:07.551
I think that's what people are looking for today, especially young people.

1013
00:41:08.271 --> 00:41:13.512
Like I appreciate the Chicago Council on inerrancy and I appreciate the fact that the Bible is infallible.

1014
00:41:13.752 --> 00:41:15.332
Like I get all that.

1015
00:41:16.572 --> 00:41:19.413
And I think in the 60s and the 70s and 80s, R.C.

1016
00:41:19.433 --> 00:41:24.434
Sproul and John MacArthur and those guys did a great job proving that the Bible is true.

1017
00:41:24.654 --> 00:41:24.834
Yeah.

1018
00:41:24.874 --> 00:41:25.574
Apologetics.

1019
00:41:26.034 --> 00:41:26.554
A hundred percent.

1020
00:41:27.174 --> 00:41:30.495
What I don't think we've done a great job is, is showing that the Bible works.

1021
00:41:30.515 --> 00:41:31.035
Does it work?

1022
00:41:31.941 --> 00:41:33.942
Yeah, in our culture today.

1023
00:41:34.042 --> 00:41:55.050
So if I'm a young man and my two parents professed to know and follow and love Jesus, but when I was 12 they divorced, and then my dad remarried somebody 10 years younger than my mom, or I had a pastor and all of a sudden it found out that he's on the news because he's been sleeping with the secretary.

1024
00:41:55.110 --> 00:41:57.391
We've lived through all that.

1025
00:41:58.292 --> 00:42:03.693
And, and man, I, I get that this stuff is true, but what I'm seeing is like, does it work?

1026
00:42:05.050 --> 00:42:07.951
And, and so you got a guy and again, you're, you're right.

1027
00:42:07.971 --> 00:42:17.473
I shouldn't have put Rogan and Tate in the, in, in the same breath, but taking Andrew Tate, for example, Andrew Tate says, man, I know how I can teach you how to get attractive to him is this stuff works.

1028
00:42:17.513 --> 00:42:18.014
This works.

1029
00:42:18.154 --> 00:42:21.274
I can teach you how to get what you want.

1030
00:42:21.714 --> 00:42:27.236
And so just take this desire that you have, you have this thing in you and you desire it.

1031
00:42:27.756 --> 00:42:29.416
I can teach you how to go grab that.

1032
00:42:29.456 --> 00:42:29.617
Yeah.

1033
00:42:29.677 --> 00:42:30.677
Feed it and go grab it.

1034
00:42:30.697 --> 00:42:31.237
The manuscript.

1035
00:42:31.257 --> 00:42:31.357
Yeah.

1036
00:42:31.577 --> 00:42:31.717
Yeah.

1037
00:42:31.777 --> 00:42:40.203
And so there, so, and, and consciously or unconsciously, I think a man, especially a young man, I just, I just need something that works.

1038
00:42:40.263 --> 00:42:40.563
Yeah.

1039
00:42:41.403 --> 00:42:43.485
And, and what's ironic is here we are.

1040
00:42:44.045 --> 00:42:46.427
We have the thing that absolutely works.

1041
00:42:46.767 --> 00:42:50.049
Jesus said, I, I am the way, the truth and the life.

1042
00:42:50.209 --> 00:42:50.449
Yeah.

1043
00:42:50.629 --> 00:42:54.172
In fact, I came, not that you would have life, but you would have it more fully.

1044
00:42:55.621 --> 00:42:59.044
Right, that I would complete the joy in you.

1045
00:42:59.084 --> 00:43:01.506
Like Jesus is the thing that works.

1046
00:43:03.687 --> 00:43:07.490
So, okay, so this works, Jesus works.

1047
00:43:07.570 --> 00:43:10.112
That's where hope comes from, which is what you discovered.

1048
00:43:10.192 --> 00:43:11.433
Yeah.

1049
00:43:11.613 --> 00:43:15.036
How do I apply that to my life in a daily basis?

1050
00:43:15.456 --> 00:43:17.178
Yeah, so good.

1051
00:43:17.338 --> 00:43:18.339
How do I work that out?

1052
00:43:18.399 --> 00:43:20.400
How do I walk that out, man?

1053
00:43:20.420 --> 00:43:23.783
Plus, is it wrong that I want a scout?

1054
00:43:24.522 --> 00:43:25.304
Yeah, no doubt.

1055
00:43:25.605 --> 00:43:27.089
I can't wait for mine to get here.

1056
00:43:27.109 --> 00:43:27.951
Nice hat.

1057
00:43:27.991 --> 00:43:28.392
Thank you.

1058
00:43:28.913 --> 00:43:29.154
2027.

1059
00:43:30.963 --> 00:43:37.108
So, so the way I'm saying, because a hundred percent, this guy will tell me I, uh, desires of the flesh, bro.

1060
00:43:37.228 --> 00:43:37.488
Right.

1061
00:43:37.888 --> 00:43:38.108
Yeah.

1062
00:43:38.188 --> 00:43:40.290
Or, or the Pharisees will just, just keep the rules.

1063
00:43:40.570 --> 00:43:41.090
Yeah.

1064
00:43:41.130 --> 00:43:41.471
Yeah.

1065
00:43:41.531 --> 00:43:41.791
Yeah.

1066
00:43:41.831 --> 00:43:42.031
Yeah.

1067
00:43:42.051 --> 00:43:42.651
None of that worked.

1068
00:43:42.712 --> 00:43:43.672
Ask them how that worked out.

1069
00:43:43.692 --> 00:43:44.433
That didn't work.

1070
00:43:44.653 --> 00:43:44.913
Right.

1071
00:43:44.933 --> 00:43:45.393
It doesn't work.

1072
00:43:45.494 --> 00:43:46.875
It just shows me how bad I am.

1073
00:43:47.015 --> 00:43:47.155
Yeah.

1074
00:43:47.215 --> 00:43:48.135
So this is where I'm at.

1075
00:43:48.195 --> 00:43:51.158
And I, I've adapted this from a few people.

1076
00:43:51.738 --> 00:43:52.879
So it's not originally me.

1077
00:43:52.919 --> 00:43:53.359
Nothing is.

1078
00:43:53.980 --> 00:43:56.982
Um, so what I'm teaching my boys right now.

1079
00:43:59.049 --> 00:44:06.124
is, is life is the, the joyful pursuit of sacrificial responsibility.

1080
00:44:07.921 --> 00:44:08.201
Wow.

1081
00:44:08.221 --> 00:44:11.083
And people ask, because I've been sharing that over the last year or two.

1082
00:44:11.404 --> 00:44:12.144
Where does that come from?

1083
00:44:12.164 --> 00:44:12.644
Okay.

1084
00:44:12.685 --> 00:44:18.309
So the Bible says that for the joy set before him, he endured the cross.

1085
00:44:19.069 --> 00:44:21.791
So Jesus didn't go to the cross begrudgingly.

1086
00:44:22.692 --> 00:44:26.415
He didn't go to the cross complaining and bemoaning.

1087
00:44:27.536 --> 00:44:31.138
The Bible says for the joy set before him, he endured the cross.

1088
00:44:31.179 --> 00:44:31.479
He endured it.

1089
00:44:32.542 --> 00:44:38.405
The Bible also says that Christ didn't come to be served, but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many.

1090
00:44:38.625 --> 00:44:40.987
So it's the joyful pursuit.

1091
00:44:41.027 --> 00:44:41.847
You've got to go.

1092
00:44:42.207 --> 00:44:42.407
Right.

1093
00:44:42.788 --> 00:44:47.971
I love there's this little line in the David and Goliath story that nobody really highlights.

1094
00:44:49.007 --> 00:44:53.472
But, you know, we all know that David shows up with the food for his brothers.

1095
00:44:54.092 --> 00:44:56.495
He hears Goliath cursing Israel.

1096
00:44:56.895 --> 00:44:57.917
We know that they're afraid.

1097
00:44:57.937 --> 00:44:59.398
We know that the giants taunting him.

1098
00:44:59.438 --> 00:45:03.182
But there's this little line that says David ran to the front line.

1099
00:45:04.303 --> 00:45:05.024
He didn't walk.

1100
00:45:05.945 --> 00:45:10.329
He didn't go, well, I don't know if I'm supposed to do this, but I'll give it a try.

1101
00:45:10.349 --> 00:45:11.270
No, no, no.

1102
00:45:11.630 --> 00:45:14.212
The Bible said he ran to the front line.

1103
00:45:15.573 --> 00:45:16.955
He couldn't wait to engage.

1104
00:45:17.035 --> 00:45:20.037
I'm just waiting on the move of God.

1105
00:45:20.258 --> 00:45:22.179
I'll let go and let God.

1106
00:45:22.459 --> 00:45:22.960
We'll just.

1107
00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:23.781
No, no.

1108
00:45:24.081 --> 00:45:26.483
The Bible said he ran to the front line.

1109
00:45:26.523 --> 00:45:28.044
Right there is the word that.

1110
00:45:28.825 --> 00:45:31.767
That is nails on a chalkboard for me.

1111
00:45:32.027 --> 00:45:32.507
Oh, bro.

1112
00:45:33.167 --> 00:45:38.270
When you guys pray, well, Lord, we just, just comes in the front of a prayer.

1113
00:45:38.290 --> 00:45:42.992
It's like, well, we just want whatever you are because we just want to be.

1114
00:45:43.333 --> 00:45:43.913
I'm like, no, no, no.

1115
00:45:44.173 --> 00:45:45.434
Take just out of there.

1116
00:45:45.494 --> 00:45:47.575
It's like we, this is our heart.

1117
00:45:47.995 --> 00:45:49.296
We're going after this thing.

1118
00:45:49.316 --> 00:45:50.456
We're going to grab a hold of this.

1119
00:45:50.656 --> 00:45:51.757
And we ask boldly.

1120
00:45:52.317 --> 00:45:53.858
Like he says we can do that.

1121
00:45:54.318 --> 00:45:55.479
Boldly come before him.

1122
00:45:55.519 --> 00:45:56.379
Yeah, yeah.

1123
00:45:56.419 --> 00:46:00.221
We joyfully we don't you know, I've got a big sign that hangs in my home office.

1124
00:46:00.441 --> 00:46:01.562
It's the Monopoly man.

1125
00:46:01.862 --> 00:46:03.963
And he's he's holding a piggy bank upside down.

1126
00:46:04.644 --> 00:46:06.564
And it says you can't deposit excuses.

1127
00:46:07.265 --> 00:46:07.585
Wow.

1128
00:46:07.765 --> 00:46:11.687
So one of the big things for my boys right now is we're not you know, we're not victims.

1129
00:46:11.707 --> 00:46:12.768
We're not making excuses.

1130
00:46:12.828 --> 00:46:13.688
There's no excuses.

1131
00:46:13.828 --> 00:46:14.188
That's it.

1132
00:46:14.388 --> 00:46:14.708
That's it.

1133
00:46:14.728 --> 00:46:19.291
They have every opportunity in the joy of sacrificial responsibility.

1134
00:46:19.331 --> 00:46:19.671
That's it.

1135
00:46:19.751 --> 00:46:20.992
So and and.

1136
00:46:22.092 --> 00:46:30.279
When you begin to experience the weight of that, so a lot of young men I meet today, and I think you've heard me say this before, give this illustration.

1137
00:46:30.879 --> 00:46:32.300
They're like empty truck beds.

1138
00:46:33.361 --> 00:46:41.087
So anybody that drives a pickup truck, you know that you're supposed to put a little weight in the bed because it gives it traction, especially when the roads are slick.

1139
00:46:41.107 --> 00:46:42.108
Yeah, when the roads are slick, yeah.

1140
00:46:42.128 --> 00:46:44.929
Because if the if the bed's not weighted, it becomes unsafe.

1141
00:46:45.209 --> 00:46:47.989
Well, most young men today are like empty truck beds.

1142
00:46:48.009 --> 00:46:49.409
They got all the horsepower in the world.

1143
00:46:49.429 --> 00:46:50.250
They got no ballast.

1144
00:46:50.570 --> 00:46:51.350
They got no weight.

1145
00:46:51.970 --> 00:47:01.132
So so they're just out there fish telling through through relationships, through vocation, their fish telling through church because there's no there's no substance in the bed.

1146
00:47:01.152 --> 00:47:01.852
There's no weight.

1147
00:47:02.312 --> 00:47:02.512
Right.

1148
00:47:02.572 --> 00:47:07.133
And I believe that the world today is preaching a culture of weightlessness.

1149
00:47:07.973 --> 00:47:08.713
Don't get married.

1150
00:47:09.274 --> 00:47:10.114
Don't have kids.

1151
00:47:10.655 --> 00:47:11.795
Stay free from burdens.

1152
00:47:11.815 --> 00:47:12.956
It's not your problem.

1153
00:47:12.976 --> 00:47:14.857
It's somebody else's problem, right?

1154
00:47:15.197 --> 00:47:15.658
Yeah.

1155
00:47:15.838 --> 00:47:17.239
So freedom becomes weightlessness.

1156
00:47:17.259 --> 00:47:17.739
That's it.

1157
00:47:17.899 --> 00:47:19.840
Which means your life has no weight.

1158
00:47:20.100 --> 00:47:20.721
No gravity.

1159
00:47:21.001 --> 00:47:21.641
No gravity.

1160
00:47:21.721 --> 00:47:25.984
And it's the, I call it, it's the freedom of a kite being cut from its string.

1161
00:47:26.244 --> 00:47:26.644
Yeah.

1162
00:47:26.824 --> 00:47:29.306
Or it's a freedom of a car going downhill with no brakes.

1163
00:47:29.366 --> 00:47:30.186
Are you really free?

1164
00:47:30.667 --> 00:47:35.269
Which is dishonorable because honor, actually the root of honor is weight.

1165
00:47:35.369 --> 00:47:35.830
Come on.

1166
00:47:36.863 --> 00:47:37.305
Interesting.

1167
00:47:37.426 --> 00:47:39.113
So you're living a life without honor.

1168
00:47:39.234 --> 00:47:40.379
Paul says the...

1169
00:47:41.563 --> 00:47:43.765
eternal weight of glory.

1170
00:47:43.785 --> 00:47:43.905
Yeah.

1171
00:47:44.105 --> 00:47:45.066
Glory's heavy.

1172
00:47:45.366 --> 00:47:45.666
Yeah.

1173
00:47:46.047 --> 00:47:47.908
Glory can't rest on a drifter, bro.

1174
00:47:48.008 --> 00:47:48.408
Yeah.

1175
00:47:48.548 --> 00:47:48.949
No, no, no.

1176
00:47:49.029 --> 00:47:49.589
Glory.

1177
00:47:49.649 --> 00:47:52.852
It's it presses down and stabilizes a man.

1178
00:47:52.932 --> 00:47:53.692
So we're in a fight.

1179
00:47:53.933 --> 00:47:55.214
So David ran to the battle.

1180
00:47:55.874 --> 00:47:56.074
Yeah.

1181
00:47:56.354 --> 00:47:57.675
We're in a fight for sure.

1182
00:47:57.856 --> 00:47:59.517
So why are we in a fight?

1183
00:47:59.577 --> 00:48:00.938
I thought Jesus won the fight, man.

1184
00:48:01.358 --> 00:48:02.219
I sang a song.

1185
00:48:02.259 --> 00:48:03.620
They sang a song in church the other day.

1186
00:48:04.120 --> 00:48:04.421
Right.

1187
00:48:04.441 --> 00:48:05.201
Jesus won the battle.

1188
00:48:05.521 --> 00:48:05.742
Yeah.

1189
00:48:05.922 --> 00:48:06.442
Won the fight.

1190
00:48:07.183 --> 00:48:07.623
That's it.

1191
00:48:07.983 --> 00:48:08.444
I'm good.

1192
00:48:08.904 --> 00:48:09.384
That's right.

1193
00:48:09.605 --> 00:48:09.905
Right.

1194
00:48:11.696 --> 00:48:13.098
What's this fight thing about?

1195
00:48:13.118 --> 00:48:13.338
Yeah.

1196
00:48:13.418 --> 00:48:18.764
Well, we theologians call it the already not yet paradigm.

1197
00:48:18.785 --> 00:48:19.666
There's the tension.

1198
00:48:19.926 --> 00:48:20.406
Yeah.

1199
00:48:20.446 --> 00:48:22.088
So Brandon teaches on that a lot.

1200
00:48:22.249 --> 00:48:23.050
Already not yet.

1201
00:48:23.070 --> 00:48:23.570
Tell me.

1202
00:48:24.031 --> 00:48:24.712
Unpack that for me.

1203
00:48:24.732 --> 00:48:24.892
Yeah.

1204
00:48:25.212 --> 00:48:27.094
So Christ has secured the victory.

1205
00:48:27.995 --> 00:48:28.256
Yeah.

1206
00:48:28.436 --> 00:48:28.676
Yeah.

1207
00:48:29.037 --> 00:48:31.279
But it hasn't yet come to fruition.

1208
00:48:32.168 --> 00:48:35.292
So so we we love the first advent.

1209
00:48:35.693 --> 00:48:37.576
We celebrate it every December 25th.

1210
00:48:38.216 --> 00:48:41.861
The second advent is going to be even better when he comes back.

1211
00:48:42.282 --> 00:48:44.124
Until then, we have work to do.

1212
00:48:44.305 --> 00:48:45.947
We we have been commissioned.

1213
00:48:46.848 --> 00:48:48.931
He has left us clear.

1214
00:48:49.752 --> 00:48:52.713
very clear and specific instructions.

1215
00:48:52.813 --> 00:48:56.315
And he said things like, um, you're going to have problems in this world.

1216
00:48:57.055 --> 00:48:57.475
Take heart.

1217
00:48:57.595 --> 00:48:58.576
I've overcome the world.

1218
00:48:58.696 --> 00:48:59.496
I cut that one out.

1219
00:48:59.756 --> 00:49:00.696
Right.

1220
00:49:00.716 --> 00:49:02.877
His half brother.

1221
00:49:05.238 --> 00:49:06.279
That's right.

1222
00:49:06.319 --> 00:49:06.799
That's right.

1223
00:49:07.079 --> 00:49:10.740
So, so he, he, he's very clear that, that it's not going to be easy.

1224
00:49:10.981 --> 00:49:11.801
That it's not love you.

1225
00:49:11.821 --> 00:49:12.101
Yeah.

1226
00:49:12.201 --> 00:49:12.581
Love me.

1227
00:49:12.621 --> 00:49:13.722
They're gonna hate you because they hate.

1228
00:49:13.922 --> 00:49:14.442
Oh bro.

1229
00:49:14.822 --> 00:49:16.343
And it's, and I'm telling, um,

1230
00:49:17.229 --> 00:49:27.877
I was at the discipleship.org conference and they, they did this cool Ted talk thing and they said, Hey, um, come give a Ted talk on a courageous discipleship.

1231
00:49:28.017 --> 00:49:28.677
Okay.

1232
00:49:30.058 --> 00:49:31.619
And that man, I couldn't wait, bro.

1233
00:49:31.659 --> 00:49:33.281
It was one of those where you're chomping at the bit.

1234
00:49:33.901 --> 00:49:39.105
And I said, I said, I want you to think about, um, the end of the apostle Paul's life.

1235
00:49:39.125 --> 00:49:39.765
Okay.

1236
00:49:40.326 --> 00:49:46.110
Probably most people would argue next to Jesus, one of the greatest men, if not the greatest man to walk the earth next to Jesus.

1237
00:49:46.130 --> 00:49:46.230
Okay.

1238
00:49:47.455 --> 00:49:50.156
And I said at the end of his life, he names four people.

1239
00:49:52.117 --> 00:49:57.419
He he says, you know, Demas deserted me and went away.

1240
00:49:57.439 --> 00:49:59.760
Yeah, he bailed.

1241
00:50:00.381 --> 00:50:01.481
Bring John Mark.

1242
00:50:01.501 --> 00:50:02.482
He's proved useful.

1243
00:50:02.682 --> 00:50:02.962
Yeah.

1244
00:50:02.982 --> 00:50:03.622
Shockingly.

1245
00:50:03.902 --> 00:50:04.182
Yeah.

1246
00:50:04.222 --> 00:50:04.442
Right.

1247
00:50:05.503 --> 00:50:06.103
He matured.

1248
00:50:06.243 --> 00:50:06.643
That's right.

1249
00:50:06.703 --> 00:50:08.604
Stay away from Alexander the coppersmith.

1250
00:50:08.624 --> 00:50:09.405
He did me great harm.

1251
00:50:10.585 --> 00:50:13.026
And Luke, who's loved me from the beginning, has always been with me.

1252
00:50:13.747 --> 00:50:16.488
And so I told the audience this is seventeen hundred pastors.

1253
00:50:17.766 --> 00:50:22.331
I said, if you're doing it right, I think at the end of your life, you'll have four people.

1254
00:50:22.832 --> 00:50:24.173
You'll have people that disappoint you.

1255
00:50:24.954 --> 00:50:28.418
People that surprise you, people that hate you and people that love you.

1256
00:50:28.638 --> 00:50:28.939
Wow.

1257
00:50:29.179 --> 00:50:29.920
That's so good.

1258
00:50:30.020 --> 00:50:30.921
If you do it right.

1259
00:50:31.301 --> 00:50:32.042
If you do it right.

1260
00:50:32.263 --> 00:50:37.949
And, and, and you all think that just because you have people that disappoint you and hate you, you must be doing something wrong.

1261
00:50:38.029 --> 00:50:38.550
No, no, no, no.

1262
00:50:39.298 --> 00:50:42.040
You may be doing exactly what God's called you to do.

1263
00:50:42.540 --> 00:50:44.521
The apostle Paul got to the end of his life.

1264
00:50:44.541 --> 00:50:50.105
He had people that disappointed him, people that surprised him, people that hated him, and people that loved him.

1265
00:50:50.405 --> 00:50:51.046
That's so good.

1266
00:50:51.066 --> 00:50:54.288
I'm going to look like a genius when I preach that next week.

1267
00:50:55.108 --> 00:50:55.648
Where'd you get that?

1268
00:50:55.668 --> 00:50:56.569
I don't know, man.

1269
00:50:56.709 --> 00:50:59.151
It just dropped in my heart.

1270
00:50:59.863 --> 00:51:04.267
You know, you know, I think of that, you know, let's, let's hit on Paul for a second.

1271
00:51:04.387 --> 00:51:13.336
I think of that when Paul is, is, um, mentoring Timothy and then puts him in an uncomfortable situation in Ephesus, puts him in charge of that church.

1272
00:51:13.456 --> 00:51:13.696
Right.

1273
00:51:13.997 --> 00:51:14.397
That's right.

1274
00:51:14.697 --> 00:51:19.662
And at the end of his second letter, uh, chapter four, he says, Hey, here's the deal.

1275
00:51:20.082 --> 00:51:21.784
There's three things that you need to do.

1276
00:51:22.184 --> 00:51:23.185
Endure hardship.

1277
00:51:23.546 --> 00:51:23.866
Come on.

1278
00:51:23.886 --> 00:51:24.627
Preach Jesus.

1279
00:51:25.107 --> 00:51:26.067
And finish the mission.

1280
00:51:26.367 --> 00:51:27.228
I love that.

1281
00:51:27.248 --> 00:51:31.328
There wasn't anything about sabbatical in there, but that's another story.

1282
00:51:32.269 --> 00:51:33.929
I need you to show up well rested.

1283
00:51:34.069 --> 00:51:35.389
I need you to show up well rested.

1284
00:51:35.589 --> 00:51:38.750
Well, he also said, and have some wine for your stomach.

1285
00:51:39.670 --> 00:51:42.811
So obviously, you know, Tim's going through some stuff.

1286
00:51:42.871 --> 00:51:45.572
He's got some physical illnesses, got some things going on.

1287
00:51:46.112 --> 00:51:46.772
But he said this.

1288
00:51:46.832 --> 00:51:47.872
He said, there's three things.

1289
00:51:47.932 --> 00:51:48.752
Endure hardship.

1290
00:51:48.832 --> 00:51:50.073
No, this is not going to be easy.

1291
00:51:50.093 --> 00:51:51.193
You're going to do hard stuff.

1292
00:51:51.473 --> 00:51:51.873
That's right.

1293
00:51:52.033 --> 00:51:59.520
And I do believe that young men today want to know, hey, what is it that actually that I can push against with a group of other guys?

1294
00:51:59.960 --> 00:52:00.520
For sure.

1295
00:52:01.081 --> 00:52:01.782
That's not easy.

1296
00:52:02.102 --> 00:52:02.782
Yeah.

1297
00:52:02.883 --> 00:52:04.504
And they want to test their limits.

1298
00:52:04.804 --> 00:52:07.346
They want to test their boundaries.

1299
00:52:07.366 --> 00:52:09.789
They want to test their, you know, their metal.

1300
00:52:10.049 --> 00:52:10.829
That's why you wrestle.

1301
00:52:11.190 --> 00:52:11.710
That's it.

1302
00:52:12.171 --> 00:52:12.551
Come on.

1303
00:52:12.571 --> 00:52:13.892
That's why you wrestle with your kids.

1304
00:52:14.172 --> 00:52:14.673
That's right.

1305
00:52:14.693 --> 00:52:15.453
And you don't let them win.

1306
00:52:15.554 --> 00:52:15.974
That's it.

1307
00:52:16.374 --> 00:52:16.695
That's it.

1308
00:52:16.935 --> 00:52:17.215
I had.

1309
00:52:17.435 --> 00:52:17.695
I had.

1310
00:52:17.715 --> 00:52:18.596
It's like me and Cameron.

1311
00:52:18.616 --> 00:52:19.357
My grandson's here.

1312
00:52:20.360 --> 00:52:22.562
And we wrestled in the pool a couple weeks ago.

1313
00:52:22.963 --> 00:52:23.523
I love that.

1314
00:52:23.884 --> 00:52:24.704
And I beat him.

1315
00:52:24.965 --> 00:52:26.426
Yeah, he learned about old man strength.

1316
00:52:27.167 --> 00:52:28.288
He's looking at me like, no.

1317
00:52:28.989 --> 00:52:30.751
He learned about old man strength.

1318
00:52:30.811 --> 00:52:33.053
I built a— Did we break even?

1319
00:52:34.374 --> 00:52:34.614
Huh?

1320
00:52:35.075 --> 00:52:35.736
Did you beat me?

1321
00:52:36.536 --> 00:52:37.617
No, I don't believe it.

1322
00:52:37.637 --> 00:52:38.799
Maybe he took me.

1323
00:52:39.079 --> 00:52:40.420
I built a little home garage.

1324
00:52:40.460 --> 00:52:41.642
This is not a nice thing for—

1325
00:52:42.933 --> 00:52:43.694
A 16-year-old guy.

1326
00:52:43.714 --> 00:52:45.195
But he's strong because he wrestles.

1327
00:52:45.495 --> 00:52:46.777
Well, it's friction.

1328
00:52:47.477 --> 00:52:48.238
Full circle here.

1329
00:52:48.438 --> 00:52:49.379
We didn't even plan that.

1330
00:52:50.480 --> 00:52:57.466
I watched a silver smith one time, Smith Silver, and Paul, I'm impatient.

1331
00:52:58.347 --> 00:53:01.910
This dude puts the silver in the fire, pulls it out, puts it in, pulls it out.

1332
00:53:01.950 --> 00:53:02.891
Does this like eight times.

1333
00:53:03.631 --> 00:53:04.492
So finally I looked at him.

1334
00:53:04.532 --> 00:53:05.453
I said, bro, when are we done?

1335
00:53:05.473 --> 00:53:05.613
Yeah.

1336
00:53:07.063 --> 00:53:07.884
I'll never forget what he said.

1337
00:53:07.924 --> 00:53:11.407
He said, he said, I'm done when I can see my reflection in it.

1338
00:53:12.367 --> 00:53:18.753
And then the Holy Spirit hit me and he said, Chris, God is not done with you until you can see the reflection of his son in you.

1339
00:53:19.033 --> 00:53:19.433
Come on, man.

1340
00:53:20.014 --> 00:53:23.337
And he'll keep putting you in the fire and pulling you out and putting you in the fire.

1341
00:53:23.517 --> 00:53:30.142
And and there's this there's this beauty, you know, discipling men is like wind carving stone.

1342
00:53:30.903 --> 00:53:31.243
Right.

1343
00:53:31.663 --> 00:53:33.644
Over time, you've ever seen the Grand Canyon.

1344
00:53:33.944 --> 00:53:37.445
They can get like that overnight, but it's powerful and it's beautiful.

1345
00:53:37.605 --> 00:53:40.085
And it's something to hold when you see a man.

1346
00:53:40.265 --> 00:53:41.546
I love what you said earlier, brother.

1347
00:53:41.566 --> 00:53:45.086
When you see a man fully formed, you can't take your eyes off of him.

1348
00:53:45.907 --> 00:53:46.907
You want to follow him.

1349
00:53:47.447 --> 00:53:48.687
You want to be near him.

1350
00:53:48.967 --> 00:53:49.187
Right.

1351
00:53:49.787 --> 00:53:52.048
I built a I built a little home garage and.

1352
00:53:53.887 --> 00:53:57.016
So I'm working out every day with my boys and they're getting into it, man.

1353
00:53:57.036 --> 00:53:57.457
They love it.

1354
00:53:57.697 --> 00:53:58.199
That's awesome.

1355
00:53:58.660 --> 00:54:02.270
And my oldest son called my middle son a wuss.

1356
00:54:04.012 --> 00:54:06.953
and said, you know, he was doing something that his little brother couldn't do.

1357
00:54:07.053 --> 00:54:19.577
And and I said, all right, I said, you see those two 35 pound weights, I said, pick them up and firemen carry those to the end of our our road and back.

1358
00:54:20.297 --> 00:54:23.578
I said, and don't come back without my weights.

1359
00:54:25.278 --> 00:54:27.959
And I was heated, man, because he because he bashed on his little brother.

1360
00:54:28.219 --> 00:54:28.419
Yeah.

1361
00:54:28.559 --> 00:54:29.279
So he picks them up.

1362
00:54:29.559 --> 00:54:30.860
He does exactly what I told him to do.

1363
00:54:31.910 --> 00:54:36.212
And three minutes go by, five minutes go by, 12 minutes go by.

1364
00:54:37.012 --> 00:54:39.433
So finally, yeah, oh, I crushed him.

1365
00:54:40.033 --> 00:54:42.714
So finally I got to go meet him.

1366
00:54:42.814 --> 00:54:51.478
I get about, I don't know, 300 yards out of my drive, and he's like laying in my neighbor's grass just crying, snot coming out, right?

1367
00:54:52.338 --> 00:54:56.600
And so I obviously help him with the weights, walk back to the house.

1368
00:54:56.640 --> 00:55:00.462
And I said, hey, first of all, don't ever don't ever belittle your little brother like that.

1369
00:55:00.722 --> 00:55:03.804
And two, you need to stop crying because you can do hard things.

1370
00:55:04.324 --> 00:55:05.805
Look how far you just carried this weight.

1371
00:55:06.445 --> 00:55:11.047
And he was like, Dad, two of our neighbors came out and asked if I was OK.

1372
00:55:15.706 --> 00:55:18.788
And I'm just like, oh, I live in a whole neighborhood of soft people.

1373
00:55:19.368 --> 00:55:26.254
But but the point was, bro, you did something hard and and and you can do hard things.

1374
00:55:26.854 --> 00:55:30.517
Yeah, dude, I think the church is raising soft men, bro.

1375
00:55:31.718 --> 00:55:32.118
Yes.

1376
00:55:32.479 --> 00:55:36.001
And flaccidity has never been attractive in a man.

1377
00:55:36.121 --> 00:55:37.663
Never, never.

1378
00:55:38.123 --> 00:55:43.267
Paul, Paul, I had a pastor tell me one time he said he said, I got two problems in my church.

1379
00:55:44.918 --> 00:55:49.763
He said, I got weak men who love Jesus and strong men who don't know him.

1380
00:55:50.443 --> 00:55:50.784
Wow.

1381
00:55:51.144 --> 00:55:53.626
He said, and both are wrecking my church.

1382
00:55:53.847 --> 00:55:54.127
Yeah.

1383
00:55:54.327 --> 00:55:55.168
Think about that, bro.

1384
00:55:56.272 --> 00:55:58.493
You know, I grew up near the ocean.

1385
00:55:58.593 --> 00:56:02.693
One of the things that was coveted that we would find is called sea glass.

1386
00:56:03.634 --> 00:56:09.035
And it's little nodules of glass that have been in the ocean for 20, 30, 40 years.

1387
00:56:09.655 --> 00:56:11.075
And it's collected today.

1388
00:56:11.155 --> 00:56:11.956
People collect them.

1389
00:56:11.976 --> 00:56:12.976
They sell them.

1390
00:56:13.016 --> 00:56:14.716
There's price looks at them.

1391
00:56:15.296 --> 00:56:21.098
You'll go to some places and somebody will have a bottle or a sea glass, which is usually rounded, right?

1392
00:56:21.118 --> 00:56:21.558
Because of the.

1393
00:56:22.238 --> 00:56:23.138
turning of the ocean.

1394
00:56:23.299 --> 00:56:23.639
Oh, yeah.

1395
00:56:23.859 --> 00:56:25.800
And they'll have different colors and different things.

1396
00:56:25.820 --> 00:56:25.960
Wow.

1397
00:56:25.980 --> 00:56:26.800
It's prized.

1398
00:56:27.521 --> 00:56:29.902
But it's been it's been ground up by the sand.

1399
00:56:29.962 --> 00:56:33.343
It's been ground by things and it becomes precious and beautiful.

1400
00:56:34.224 --> 00:56:37.005
And so I think about the silver.

1401
00:56:37.886 --> 00:56:39.847
And for you, the guy's putting the silver in and out.

1402
00:56:40.627 --> 00:56:42.288
It cracks me up.

1403
00:56:42.328 --> 00:56:44.329
Harp is that for you, everything's a sermon.

1404
00:56:46.526 --> 00:56:47.367
That's the way my mind works.

1405
00:56:47.387 --> 00:56:48.648
You were having a knife made.

1406
00:56:48.688 --> 00:56:50.050
What were you having made?

1407
00:56:50.110 --> 00:56:53.233
Yeah, I was at like some medieval fair.

1408
00:56:53.253 --> 00:56:54.214
Oh, okay, fair.

1409
00:56:54.434 --> 00:56:56.016
Yeah, it's like south of here.

1410
00:56:56.196 --> 00:56:56.897
They do it every year.

1411
00:56:57.117 --> 00:56:57.358
Yeah.

1412
00:56:57.958 --> 00:57:00.681
So having a knife made, and all of a sudden, you know what?

1413
00:57:00.721 --> 00:57:02.163
There's three things about a knife.

1414
00:57:03.767 --> 00:57:05.328
And it's all alliterated.

1415
00:57:05.628 --> 00:57:09.310
It all starts with C. It all starts with C. Unbelievable.

1416
00:57:09.651 --> 00:57:10.811
Classic.

1417
00:57:10.851 --> 00:57:11.732
That's right.

1418
00:57:11.752 --> 00:57:12.392
They cut.

1419
00:57:12.713 --> 00:57:13.373
They cut.

1420
00:57:13.413 --> 00:57:14.394
That's right.

1421
00:57:14.474 --> 00:57:15.494
It forms character.

1422
00:57:15.534 --> 00:57:17.415
It's unreal.

1423
00:57:17.936 --> 00:57:18.816
Yeah, my mind.

1424
00:57:18.876 --> 00:57:19.697
I can't turn it off.

1425
00:57:20.557 --> 00:57:24.680
And I've got friends that, like, they won't tell me stories because they're afraid it'll end up in a sermon.

1426
00:57:26.329 --> 00:57:29.352
No, no, they won't tell you a story because it's their story for their sermon.

1427
00:57:29.432 --> 00:57:30.213
That's right.

1428
00:57:30.253 --> 00:57:31.014
There's that one.

1429
00:57:31.114 --> 00:57:32.355
Yeah, that's right.

1430
00:57:32.615 --> 00:57:33.436
I was going to tell you this.

1431
00:57:33.476 --> 00:57:34.457
Yeah, I can't.

1432
00:57:34.477 --> 00:57:36.339
It'll be on substance.

1433
00:57:36.359 --> 00:57:40.263
Like I'm constantly just taking notes, just observing and taking notes.

1434
00:57:40.463 --> 00:57:41.003
What was that?

1435
00:57:41.204 --> 00:57:42.965
You just wrote one, actually.

1436
00:57:43.266 --> 00:57:45.688
It was about a word for old men.

1437
00:57:45.888 --> 00:57:46.789
No country for old men.

1438
00:57:48.180 --> 00:57:48.720
You just wrote it.

1439
00:57:49.441 --> 00:57:49.721
Yeah.

1440
00:57:49.961 --> 00:57:51.001
There's a word for old men.

1441
00:57:51.321 --> 00:57:51.661
Yeah.

1442
00:57:51.681 --> 00:57:51.941
It was.

1443
00:57:52.141 --> 00:57:52.341
Yeah.

1444
00:57:52.922 --> 00:57:53.202
Yeah.

1445
00:57:53.222 --> 00:57:59.984
I was just taken back by the number of men in scripture who fail in the second half of their life.

1446
00:58:00.424 --> 00:58:06.666
That's what it was because it, it, it was somebody that you knew who had tipped over a pastor.

1447
00:58:06.826 --> 00:58:13.648
Unfortunately, I, I, it's every other day I get a call or a text or just another guy that gets picked off.

1448
00:58:14.175 --> 00:58:14.436
Really?

1449
00:58:14.737 --> 00:58:14.857
Yeah.

1450
00:58:15.358 --> 00:58:18.706
What do you think is the leading reason for that?

1451
00:58:19.342 --> 00:58:20.783
Yeah, I have a hot take on that.

1452
00:58:21.203 --> 00:58:22.384
Most people aren't going to agree with me.

1453
00:58:23.364 --> 00:58:24.765
Yeah.

1454
00:58:25.246 --> 00:58:26.787
I may not agree with you, but go for it.

1455
00:58:26.967 --> 00:58:27.207
Yeah.

1456
00:58:27.907 --> 00:58:32.150
So I think the majority of people in pastoral positions today were never called.

1457
00:58:33.451 --> 00:58:33.671
Yeah.

1458
00:58:34.171 --> 00:58:37.713
Now, it doesn't mean if you were called that you can't mess up.

1459
00:58:38.454 --> 00:58:42.716
But I do think the majority of people today—

1460
00:58:44.417 --> 00:58:50.139
When I was a pastor about four years in, I came to the realization I wasn't called to be a pastor.

1461
00:58:51.159 --> 00:59:02.402
I didn't have the long suffering that Paul had that other that other prophets and you know what the Bible would call an overseer that they had.

1462
00:59:03.663 --> 00:59:07.444
Matter of fact, that's why I went to seminary not to learn more about the Bible.

1463
00:59:07.804 --> 00:59:10.965
I initially went to seminary to find out if I was called to be a pastor.

1464
00:59:12.679 --> 00:59:14.921
And ended up going to two different seminaries.

1465
00:59:15.261 --> 00:59:19.044
And at the end of it realized, man, I don't think I'm called to be a pastor.

1466
00:59:20.865 --> 00:59:29.212
So I do believe we see so many, so many men, you know, falling out of the quote unquote past story at 80% of pastors today.

1467
00:59:29.252 --> 00:59:30.292
Don't make it 10 years.

1468
00:59:31.653 --> 00:59:31.894
Right.

1469
00:59:32.054 --> 00:59:35.676
And yeah, 80% don't make it 10 years.

1470
00:59:37.618 --> 00:59:37.778
Wow.

1471
00:59:37.798 --> 00:59:37.898
Yeah.

1472
00:59:38.238 --> 00:59:38.419
Yeah.

1473
00:59:39.437 --> 00:59:46.199
So and I just had another one that just left and he's, you know, he's selling, you know, solar panels now and he's crushing it.

1474
00:59:47.259 --> 00:59:50.280
And the reality was really what his calling was.

1475
00:59:50.340 --> 00:59:51.620
Yeah, he's a salesman.

1476
00:59:51.680 --> 00:59:51.980
Yeah.

1477
00:59:52.220 --> 00:59:53.740
And he should have done it.

1478
00:59:53.880 --> 00:59:54.140
Okay.

1479
00:59:54.561 --> 00:59:56.301
So this is part of my thing.

1480
00:59:56.581 --> 01:00:00.102
And I know we've kind of want to redirect.

1481
01:00:01.210 --> 01:00:08.295
We've talked about discipleship, we've talked about these things, but I wanna hit this thing right here, which is to find your calling.

1482
01:00:09.176 --> 01:00:14.420
And a lot of young men are like, how do I know what I'm supposed to do in life?

1483
01:00:15.080 --> 01:00:16.261
What's my purpose?

1484
01:00:16.361 --> 01:00:19.043
And this guy starts and goes into sales

1485
01:00:20.424 --> 01:00:24.688
I've got a friend of mine who pastored for 20 years, and he did well at it.

1486
01:00:25.008 --> 01:00:25.188
Yeah.

1487
01:00:25.508 --> 01:00:28.891
But then when he moved into business, oh, my goodness, man.

1488
01:00:28.911 --> 01:00:29.351
Incredible.

1489
01:00:29.772 --> 01:00:30.132
Yeah.

1490
01:00:30.192 --> 01:00:32.134
It's just gone exponential.

1491
01:00:32.414 --> 01:00:32.594
Yeah.

1492
01:00:32.914 --> 01:00:34.195
And that was really his thing.

1493
01:00:34.235 --> 01:00:35.997
But my take on it—

1494
01:00:36.939 --> 01:00:50.266
and I've just seen it over and over, I've seen it too often because I've lived long enough to see it all, is that we have a tendency in the church to take someone who's had this remarkable conversion.

1495
01:00:50.867 --> 01:00:54.088
And we go, hey, man, why don't you get up and speak on Sunday?

1496
01:00:54.108 --> 01:00:56.029
And then, hey, why don't you speak to the youth?

1497
01:00:56.069 --> 01:00:57.310
And then, hey, why don't you speak to this thing?

1498
01:00:57.650 --> 01:01:00.472
And then we push them into this thing because they have this...

1499
01:01:01.271 --> 01:01:02.552
Really amazing story.

1500
01:01:02.572 --> 01:01:02.913
Yeah.

1501
01:01:03.013 --> 01:01:06.016
And then they begin to believe, well, this is what I do.

1502
01:01:06.757 --> 01:01:09.880
And then it begins to affirm him because now he's moving.

1503
01:01:10.301 --> 01:01:12.163
Somebody else invites him to speak at this thing.

1504
01:01:12.183 --> 01:01:14.225
Somebody invites him to speak at this thing.

1505
01:01:14.806 --> 01:01:15.707
Then it grows.

1506
01:01:15.727 --> 01:01:19.811
I'm thinking particularly of a young man that begot huge...

1507
01:01:20.650 --> 01:01:23.851
And it got so big, it just imploded on him.

1508
01:01:24.291 --> 01:01:25.312
It just blew up.

1509
01:01:26.092 --> 01:01:27.852
Destroyed his marriage, everything.

1510
01:01:27.992 --> 01:01:30.393
Everybody's like, oh man, that guy.

1511
01:01:30.413 --> 01:01:35.755
I'm like, maybe it wasn't his, okay, he made his own decisions, right?

1512
01:01:36.575 --> 01:01:37.575
But he didn't get mentored.

1513
01:01:38.156 --> 01:01:38.336
No.

1514
01:01:38.476 --> 01:01:39.636
He didn't get fathered.

1515
01:01:40.436 --> 01:01:43.397
Nobody took him aside and said, what was the guy's name, Don?

1516
01:01:43.637 --> 01:01:44.818
The first man took you aside?

1517
01:01:45.938 --> 01:02:12.368
steam fitter was that what he was pipe fitter pipe fitter yeah and uh takes you aside begins to walk through the nobody took this guy aside because his story was so awesome yeah and then he just he started preaching about cool stuff that's right and that and he was good at it that's it man and it just took off yeah and i think we actually prostituted the guy oh bro what a word yeah that'll land what a word

1518
01:02:13.769 --> 01:02:15.210
I think that's what we did.

1519
01:02:15.230 --> 01:02:15.730
We pimp them.

1520
01:02:16.591 --> 01:02:17.151
Oh, man.

1521
01:02:17.191 --> 01:02:17.692
As the church.

1522
01:02:18.072 --> 01:02:18.332
Yeah.

1523
01:02:18.832 --> 01:02:19.873
Yeah.

1524
01:02:19.913 --> 01:02:20.313
Right?

1525
01:02:20.454 --> 01:02:34.263
I remember coming to the end of my tenure as a pastor and asking the elders at my church, I said, would you rather have someone that could deliver a Sunday message that was engaging than,

1526
01:02:35.045 --> 01:02:43.672
Or would you rather have someone that you know is spending 20, 30 hours a week on their face praying over the people in the family of this church?

1527
01:02:45.214 --> 01:02:48.216
Because I never prayed for anybody.

1528
01:02:48.596 --> 01:02:51.279
Like when I tell you I was a bad pastor, I was a terrible pastor.

1529
01:02:51.559 --> 01:02:53.280
What I was was an entertainer.

1530
01:02:53.981 --> 01:02:54.721
That's what I was.

1531
01:02:55.002 --> 01:02:56.223
But that's what you'd been taught.

1532
01:02:56.303 --> 01:02:56.883
That's exactly.

1533
01:02:56.903 --> 01:02:57.784
It's all I'd seen.

1534
01:02:57.864 --> 01:02:58.565
It's all I'd known.

1535
01:02:59.922 --> 01:03:01.542
All I'd bring it on Sunday.

1536
01:03:01.602 --> 01:03:04.023
All I'd known was free Chick-fil-A and college girls.

1537
01:03:04.203 --> 01:03:05.063
That's what I'd known.

1538
01:03:05.304 --> 01:03:05.524
Right.

1539
01:03:05.884 --> 01:03:06.624
And that's nothing new.

1540
01:03:06.684 --> 01:03:14.546
I mean, Spurgeon said, you know, what Spurgeon said, if you have, if you create a circus, you know, you have to keep creating a circus to keep people.

1541
01:03:15.526 --> 01:03:17.267
And we modernize that today.

1542
01:03:17.307 --> 01:03:20.828
What you win them with is what you win them to, you know, sort of thing.

1543
01:03:21.475 --> 01:03:27.218
But but it was it was all I know that there was no depth to my ministry.

1544
01:03:27.258 --> 01:03:29.259
There was no depth to my leadership.

1545
01:03:29.499 --> 01:03:30.920
You know, there was no humility.

1546
01:03:31.720 --> 01:03:48.449
I mean, you know, this is that thing going back to some comments we made earlier, Harp, which is something I've said to a lot of men over the years, which you either minister from those areas in which you've been tested or you will be tested in those areas in which you minister.

1547
01:03:48.689 --> 01:03:49.710
I love that, bro.

1548
01:03:50.648 --> 01:03:56.393
So now we've got men standing up and speaking about issues in which they've never been tested.

1549
01:03:56.413 --> 01:04:00.256
They've never had to walk through the difficulty of overcoming stuff.

1550
01:04:00.276 --> 01:04:06.882
Now, I'm not saying that you have to have been a drug addict in order to speak about drugs, let's say, as an example.

1551
01:04:07.422 --> 01:04:09.244
But you have to have been tested.

1552
01:04:09.284 --> 01:04:11.366
You have to have had the stones drop.

1553
01:04:11.946 --> 01:04:15.669
You have to have been at a place in your life where you've got some scars, man.

1554
01:04:16.330 --> 01:04:18.812
You know, it's that don't trust a man who doesn't walk with a limp.

1555
01:04:19.092 --> 01:04:20.093
Yeah, that's right.

1556
01:04:20.273 --> 01:04:20.473
Right.

1557
01:04:20.573 --> 01:04:21.054
That's it.

1558
01:04:21.234 --> 01:04:21.714
And I had.

1559
01:04:22.215 --> 01:04:31.343
So one of the reasons my other show got canceled is because I did an episode about this and a lot of people got a lot of a lot of pushback.

1560
01:04:32.664 --> 01:04:32.904
What?

1561
01:04:33.105 --> 01:04:36.047
So knowledge is today.

1562
01:04:36.167 --> 01:04:37.989
Knowledge is as cheap as table salt.

1563
01:04:39.170 --> 01:04:42.793
Anybody that has a smartphone has more knowledge in their pocket than.

1564
01:04:43.862 --> 01:04:46.242
than anybody in the history of history.

1565
01:04:46.303 --> 01:04:46.563
Yeah.

1566
01:04:46.603 --> 01:04:47.563
Yeah.

1567
01:04:47.903 --> 01:04:49.423
What's hard to come by is wisdom.

1568
01:04:49.663 --> 01:04:53.344
So somebody asked me, what's your equation for wisdom?

1569
01:04:53.384 --> 01:04:54.664
And I said, wisdom is simple.

1570
01:04:55.344 --> 01:04:57.985
Wisdom is just knowledge stretched over time.

1571
01:04:58.705 --> 01:05:01.666
So it's knowledge plus experience gives you wisdom.

1572
01:05:02.186 --> 01:05:07.407
What most young men, not by any of fault of their own lack is experience.

1573
01:05:07.427 --> 01:05:10.627
We got tons of knowledge, which the Bible says knowledge alone puffs up.

1574
01:05:11.488 --> 01:05:11.728
Yeah.

1575
01:05:11.808 --> 01:05:12.028
Yeah.

1576
01:05:12.088 --> 01:05:13.308
Another, another great verse.

1577
01:05:13.908 --> 01:05:21.673
So knowledge plus experience, knowledge plus time, what you just said, knowledge plus scars is what gives you wisdom.

1578
01:05:21.874 --> 01:05:22.914
Wow.

1579
01:05:23.094 --> 01:05:23.555
So good.

1580
01:05:23.775 --> 01:05:25.976
So we have a lot of unwise leaders.

1581
01:05:25.996 --> 01:05:27.818
And again, no fault of their own.

1582
01:05:32.661 --> 01:05:36.263
for the most part, they just haven't been tested long enough.

1583
01:05:36.283 --> 01:05:40.045
There's no, and, and unfortunately they're not bringing anybody around them to test them.

1584
01:05:40.065 --> 01:05:40.985
We were mentored into that.

1585
01:05:41.105 --> 01:05:51.730
We spend a lot of money, time and effort mentoring men into a ministry platform, but we don't, we don't mentor them into the kitchen table.

1586
01:05:51.870 --> 01:05:52.310
That's it.

1587
01:05:52.651 --> 01:05:53.051
That's it.

1588
01:05:53.571 --> 01:05:57.893
And, and, and we wonder why, you know, it, it, it all implodes, but yeah,

1589
01:05:58.393 --> 01:06:02.696
Now, for me, that's, you know, experience comes with time.

1590
01:06:02.756 --> 01:06:04.237
So I was teaching.

1591
01:06:05.137 --> 01:06:09.700
They'll never ask me to do it again, but they asked me to do like the convocation for these high school seniors.

1592
01:06:11.041 --> 01:06:13.202
And, you know, they wanted to do this big.

1593
01:06:13.322 --> 01:06:15.063
How many of you are called in the ministry?

1594
01:06:15.103 --> 01:06:15.283
Yeah.

1595
01:06:16.504 --> 01:06:18.686
And so.

1596
01:06:20.130 --> 01:06:24.272
I get there and they didn't tell me the governor was speaking before me.

1597
01:06:24.733 --> 01:06:25.053
Oh, wow.

1598
01:06:25.213 --> 01:06:25.933
Okay.

1599
01:06:26.213 --> 01:06:29.776
So the governor speaks and does their governor thing.

1600
01:06:30.796 --> 01:06:34.658
How many, if you try hard, if you work hard, you too can be governor.

1601
01:06:34.718 --> 01:06:35.819
How many of you want to be governor?

1602
01:06:35.839 --> 01:06:38.140
You know, 5,000 hands go up.

1603
01:06:38.220 --> 01:06:39.301
You can be governor one day.

1604
01:06:39.621 --> 01:06:41.282
So governor gets off stage.

1605
01:06:41.382 --> 01:06:42.783
I'm up four minutes later.

1606
01:06:44.292 --> 01:06:45.756
I said, how many of y'all want to be governor?

1607
01:06:46.618 --> 01:06:47.680
5,000 hands go up.

1608
01:06:48.221 --> 01:06:50.847
I said, well, unfortunately, only one of you can be.

1609
01:06:51.389 --> 01:06:52.752
So let's talk about disappointment.

1610
01:06:53.155 --> 01:06:53.715
Right.

1611
01:06:53.795 --> 01:06:55.456
That's so good.

1612
01:06:55.497 --> 01:06:55.717
Right.

1613
01:06:55.797 --> 01:06:57.158
Like, let's talk about disappointment.

1614
01:06:57.738 --> 01:06:58.719
And there's this.

1615
01:06:58.739 --> 01:07:00.239
Well, that's basically like young men.

1616
01:07:00.279 --> 01:07:01.440
How many of you want to play in the NFL?

1617
01:07:01.480 --> 01:07:03.281
How many of you want to be in the NBA?

1618
01:07:03.642 --> 01:07:06.363
How many of you are shooting hoops thinking that a scout's going to drive?

1619
01:07:06.403 --> 01:07:06.804
Yeah.

1620
01:07:06.864 --> 01:07:07.864
Yeah.

1621
01:07:07.904 --> 01:07:09.745
So how do you deal with disappointment?

1622
01:07:09.765 --> 01:07:09.966
Yeah.

1623
01:07:10.046 --> 01:07:10.466
Yeah.

1624
01:07:10.546 --> 01:07:11.426
So it's this idea.

1625
01:07:11.647 --> 01:07:16.109
And so I'm telling and I tell people that feel like they're called to ministry.

1626
01:07:16.129 --> 01:07:18.291
So if you really believe you're called to ministry.

1627
01:07:19.159 --> 01:07:19.579
young man.

1628
01:07:20.721 --> 01:07:23.083
First of all, my encouragement is a few things.

1629
01:07:24.524 --> 01:07:29.589
Go confirm that calling with someone else, not just your grandmother who thinks you're the next Billy Graham.

1630
01:07:30.349 --> 01:07:33.072
So find some wiser men and confirm it.

1631
01:07:33.192 --> 01:07:33.933
Great.

1632
01:07:33.973 --> 01:07:34.813
You've got it confirmed.

1633
01:07:34.874 --> 01:07:35.094
Good.

1634
01:07:36.809 --> 01:07:38.670
you need to know how to rightly handle God's word.

1635
01:07:39.311 --> 01:07:44.855
Now, whether that's through a seminary or a Bible college or a program at your church, I don't care.

1636
01:07:44.976 --> 01:07:45.516
I don't care.

1637
01:07:45.536 --> 01:07:46.177
Self-approved.

1638
01:07:46.197 --> 01:07:48.699
You just need to know how to rightly divide God's word.

1639
01:07:48.819 --> 01:07:49.279
Excellence.

1640
01:07:49.439 --> 01:07:49.760
That's it.

1641
01:07:50.040 --> 01:07:50.760
From discipline.

1642
01:07:51.161 --> 01:07:58.587
And then after that, my encouragement is find someone who's doing it well and then sit with them for a while.

1643
01:07:59.067 --> 01:07:59.568
So good.

1644
01:08:00.168 --> 01:08:02.410
And by that point, you're probably around 28 or 30.

1645
01:08:04.014 --> 01:08:06.692
And you'd be a lot better off than just going into it when you're 21.

1646
01:08:08.136 --> 01:08:08.376
Right.

1647
01:08:09.877 --> 01:08:14.459
Now that's, you know, when you're 1830 sounds like light years away.

1648
01:08:14.479 --> 01:08:14.939
Yeah.

1649
01:08:15.639 --> 01:08:15.899
Right.

1650
01:08:16.099 --> 01:08:20.281
But we're talking about and we're not just talking about a vocation.

1651
01:08:20.321 --> 01:08:25.983
We're talking about a position that has been established by God for the glory of God.

1652
01:08:26.684 --> 01:08:26.924
Right.

1653
01:08:26.964 --> 01:08:29.485
So so I'm very, very careful.

1654
01:08:29.585 --> 01:08:34.347
Like I've probably talked to more young men out of ministry than I have into ministry.

1655
01:08:36.155 --> 01:08:43.261
Um, just because I'm, um, because of my story and I know I'm projecting a little bit, I'm just super sensitive to it.

1656
01:08:44.202 --> 01:08:46.844
The reality is I pastored for eight years.

1657
01:08:48.365 --> 01:08:55.211
If I'm being honest, I probably did as much harm as I did good only because I had no idea, bro.

1658
01:08:55.371 --> 01:08:55.631
Yeah.

1659
01:08:55.931 --> 01:08:57.513
I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, Paul.

1660
01:08:57.533 --> 01:08:57.713
Yeah.

1661
01:08:58.165 --> 01:09:03.189
Now, praise me to God that he takes my idiocy and he makes good of it.

1662
01:09:03.229 --> 01:09:05.631
I trust the Holy Spirit.

1663
01:09:05.691 --> 01:09:07.052
Yeah, 100%, man.

1664
01:09:07.152 --> 01:09:08.173
I don't think I'm the right guy.

1665
01:09:08.393 --> 01:09:08.573
Yeah.

1666
01:09:08.794 --> 01:09:09.714
But, Lord, you put me here.

1667
01:09:09.734 --> 01:09:12.797
Do you know what U2's prayer before every concert was?

1668
01:09:12.977 --> 01:09:13.197
No.

1669
01:09:13.477 --> 01:09:15.799
They would get together backstage and they would pray one prayer.

1670
01:09:15.819 --> 01:09:18.962
They would say, Lord, help us not to embarrass you today.

1671
01:09:18.982 --> 01:09:19.362
Wow.

1672
01:09:19.402 --> 01:09:20.223
And I adopted that.

1673
01:09:20.903 --> 01:09:23.545
And I speak probably 30, 40 times a year now.

1674
01:09:23.666 --> 01:09:26.528
And the prayer is, God, help me not to embarrass you today.

1675
01:09:27.365 --> 01:09:29.206
You know, because I'm fully capable of it.

1676
01:09:29.567 --> 01:09:29.867
Yeah.

1677
01:09:30.147 --> 01:09:32.609
And so, okay, let's go back.

1678
01:09:32.789 --> 01:09:33.409
Let's do this.

1679
01:09:33.549 --> 01:09:37.132
Let's go back to this piece of it feels like.

1680
01:09:37.930 --> 01:09:39.931
This is the feeling, talking about pastors tipping over.

1681
01:09:41.132 --> 01:09:46.615
Whatever that may be, whatever that thing is, it seems like we hear about it a lot.

1682
01:09:46.735 --> 01:09:49.177
Is it just because it's amplified?

1683
01:09:49.197 --> 01:09:50.817
We live in a world of amplification.

1684
01:09:51.098 --> 01:09:51.278
Yeah.

1685
01:09:51.558 --> 01:09:54.219
Online, we all know stuff that's going on, you know.

1686
01:09:54.320 --> 01:09:54.520
Sure.

1687
01:09:54.560 --> 01:09:55.840
And it's a highly visible thing.

1688
01:09:55.880 --> 01:10:02.384
So because it's highly visible and there's a lot of people who are, quote unquote, trying to heal the body of Christ by exposing its wounds.

1689
01:10:02.664 --> 01:10:02.965
Right.

1690
01:10:03.845 --> 01:10:04.566
There's a lot of that.

1691
01:10:04.666 --> 01:10:04.947
Right.

1692
01:10:05.247 --> 01:10:05.448
Right.

1693
01:10:05.748 --> 01:10:05.929
Yeah.

1694
01:10:05.949 --> 01:10:08.993
And we're just trying to heal the body of Christ, but we're trying to get more clicks.

1695
01:10:09.214 --> 01:10:09.955
Yeah, that's right.

1696
01:10:10.095 --> 01:10:10.336
Yeah.

1697
01:10:10.416 --> 01:10:13.100
So is it more often or is it?

1698
01:10:13.240 --> 01:10:13.681
No, no, no.

1699
01:10:13.701 --> 01:10:14.462
A hundred percent.

1700
01:10:14.843 --> 01:10:15.003
Um,

1701
01:10:16.164 --> 01:10:19.946
The average, the average church in America has 85 members.

1702
01:10:20.126 --> 01:10:20.466
Okay.

1703
01:10:20.726 --> 01:10:20.946
Okay.

1704
01:10:21.206 --> 01:10:28.490
So there are 300, give or take a few, according to the IRS, there are 355,000 churches in North America.

1705
01:10:29.050 --> 01:10:29.250
Okay.

1706
01:10:29.631 --> 01:10:36.494
The average one has 85 parishioners, right?

1707
01:10:36.974 --> 01:10:38.475
99% of pastors are faithful.

1708
01:10:40.026 --> 01:10:41.767
They're out there at their church.

1709
01:10:41.907 --> 01:10:42.807
Slugging it out, man.

1710
01:10:42.907 --> 01:10:44.648
They're cutting the grass on Tuesday.

1711
01:10:44.828 --> 01:10:46.488
They're doing a funeral on Wednesday.

1712
01:10:47.109 --> 01:10:49.429
They're serving at their kid's school on Friday.

1713
01:10:49.449 --> 01:10:52.991
I think Barna says that roughly 46%.

1714
01:10:53.051 --> 01:10:56.852
So let's say one out of two pastors are bivocational.

1715
01:10:57.192 --> 01:10:57.832
Yeah.

1716
01:10:58.513 --> 01:10:58.733
Yeah.

1717
01:10:58.773 --> 01:10:59.573
So they're out there doing it.

1718
01:10:59.613 --> 01:11:04.775
Now, unfortunately, and unfortunately, because of the lack of support, they won't make it 10 years.

1719
01:11:05.535 --> 01:11:06.155
Oh, yeah.

1720
01:11:06.275 --> 01:11:12.558
Unfortunately, because we're so caught up in supporting the X, Y, Z's of the world, right?

1721
01:11:12.638 --> 01:11:15.819
The church with 20,000, 30,000, 40,000.

1722
01:11:16.360 --> 01:11:18.981
When those guys fall, it's a spectacular fall.

1723
01:11:19.141 --> 01:11:20.201
It's a big splash.

1724
01:11:20.281 --> 01:11:28.105
Yeah, it's, it's, but, but the reality is, and because somebody, somebody sent me a note one time and said, what's happening to all your friends in Dallas, you know, kind of smug remark.

1725
01:11:28.865 --> 01:11:30.828
these Dallas pastors that were just crashing.

1726
01:11:30.868 --> 01:11:32.470
It felt like we had one right after the other.

1727
01:11:33.432 --> 01:11:37.778
And I said, and I sent back and I said, Hey bro, this Dallas isn't a, this is a microcosm.

1728
01:11:37.798 --> 01:11:39.801
Like this isn't, this isn't normal.

1729
01:11:39.881 --> 01:11:41.524
The average church has 85 people.

1730
01:11:42.125 --> 01:11:43.206
The pastor's faithful.

1731
01:11:43.226 --> 01:11:43.747
You're,

1732
01:11:43.787 --> 01:11:47.889
How many churches in the DFW area?

1733
01:11:48.029 --> 01:11:49.690
There's got to be thousands, right?

1734
01:11:50.210 --> 01:11:50.890
Probably 10,000.

1735
01:11:51.030 --> 01:11:51.751
Probably 10,000.

1736
01:11:52.191 --> 01:11:54.132
So let's drop it to 6,000 or 7,000.

1737
01:11:54.432 --> 01:11:59.074
And if there's a guy every month that tips over, that's like 1%?

1738
01:11:59.114 --> 01:11:59.474
Maybe.

1739
01:11:59.794 --> 01:12:00.735
Is it less than 1%?

1740
01:12:01.795 --> 01:12:02.255
I don't know.

1741
01:12:02.696 --> 01:12:03.696
You're the math guy.

1742
01:12:03.756 --> 01:12:05.257
You went to grad school.

1743
01:12:05.337 --> 01:12:05.737
0.6%.

1744
01:12:05.757 --> 01:12:06.618
Yeah, okay.

1745
01:12:06.678 --> 01:12:07.679
So there you go.

1746
01:12:07.719 --> 01:12:13.322
So you got a 0.6%, which is far less than what's happening in general culture.

1747
01:12:13.342 --> 01:12:15.723
Yeah, CEOs of Fortune 500 companies.

1748
01:12:15.743 --> 01:12:17.044
Let's just talk about these guys.

1749
01:12:17.264 --> 01:12:17.885
Over and over.

1750
01:12:19.528 --> 01:12:20.988
Don't show up on the kiss cam.

1751
01:12:21.308 --> 01:12:21.529
Right.

1752
01:12:21.689 --> 01:12:22.609
No, that's for sure.

1753
01:12:23.169 --> 01:12:25.990
And that's the least of the nefarious things they're doing.

1754
01:12:26.450 --> 01:12:27.530
It's unbelievable.

1755
01:12:27.550 --> 01:12:28.930
A lot of it's so accepted.

1756
01:12:28.970 --> 01:12:29.951
Everybody goes, yeah, yeah.

1757
01:12:29.971 --> 01:12:30.851
It's a private life.

1758
01:12:31.051 --> 01:12:31.691
Yeah, for sure.

1759
01:12:31.771 --> 01:12:33.231
His quarterlies are fantastic.

1760
01:12:33.251 --> 01:12:34.352
That's exactly right.

1761
01:12:34.752 --> 01:12:37.393
And unfortunately, that mentality sometimes seeps into the church.

1762
01:12:37.573 --> 01:12:38.813
The quarterlies were fantastic.

1763
01:12:38.893 --> 01:12:45.294
So basically what we're seeing is, is that if the average church is 85 people and you got 30 guys or 25 guys, whatever it is.

1764
01:12:47.535 --> 01:12:49.456
What's happening is the pastor gets so busy.

1765
01:12:49.496 --> 01:12:51.737
He looks at discipling men is extra work.

1766
01:12:52.018 --> 01:12:52.238
Yeah.

1767
01:12:53.138 --> 01:12:54.979
So how does better man attack that?

1768
01:12:55.159 --> 01:12:57.101
How do you help a pastor?

1769
01:12:57.841 --> 01:13:00.402
Like, dude, this is, I'm adding another program.

1770
01:13:00.542 --> 01:13:01.023
That's right.

1771
01:13:01.223 --> 01:13:03.104
That's how do I, how do I deal with that?

1772
01:13:03.204 --> 01:13:03.444
Yeah.

1773
01:13:03.464 --> 01:13:05.625
So we, we try to make everything frictionless.

1774
01:13:05.645 --> 01:13:07.967
You know, that's, that's kind of our core value.

1775
01:13:08.287 --> 01:13:09.568
So we give it away.

1776
01:13:09.788 --> 01:13:14.730
You know, it's largely online driven and we're very much top of the funnel.

1777
01:13:14.991 --> 01:13:15.251
So,

1778
01:13:17.118 --> 01:13:23.883
I have majored in being very clear that better man is not deep discipleship.

1779
01:13:24.103 --> 01:13:25.084
We don't pretend to be.

1780
01:13:25.665 --> 01:13:28.186
I don't think you can fully form a man in nine weeks.

1781
01:13:28.387 --> 01:13:30.068
It gets the ball rolling down the hill.

1782
01:13:30.388 --> 01:13:32.310
What we are, I call it an on-ramp.

1783
01:13:32.830 --> 01:13:33.490
That's all we are.

1784
01:13:33.571 --> 01:13:34.151
That's great.

1785
01:13:34.391 --> 01:13:38.694
We are an on-ramp to your men's ministry deficit.

1786
01:13:38.714 --> 01:13:39.135
Right.

1787
01:13:39.755 --> 01:13:45.457
Um, you know, 355,000 churches, less than 10% have a functioning ministry to men.

1788
01:13:45.477 --> 01:13:49.218
Um, we, we are basically where you can start.

1789
01:13:49.779 --> 01:13:58.402
And um, because we're ecumenical the whole nine yards, we can go to any church in America and say, Hey, if you want to begin reaching.

1790
01:13:59.783 --> 01:14:02.005
You know, equipping the men you have, reaching the men you don't.

1791
01:14:02.705 --> 01:14:04.066
Man, we have a free resource for it.

1792
01:14:04.086 --> 01:14:06.148
And here's the stuff, and you just hand it to them.

1793
01:14:06.188 --> 01:14:06.489
That's it.

1794
01:14:06.869 --> 01:14:08.811
And even then, guys, don't do it.

1795
01:14:09.031 --> 01:14:10.192
Oh, yeah, hardly.

1796
01:14:11.453 --> 01:14:16.037
And we can dust off our sandals, and we can go on to the next one.

1797
01:14:16.578 --> 01:14:18.419
And, you know, where I have...

1798
01:14:19.279 --> 01:14:26.403
right, wrong, or indifferent, where I've guided the organization over the last five years is we're just not going to be something we're not.

1799
01:14:26.483 --> 01:14:30.325
Like we're not writing material into perpetuity.

1800
01:14:30.365 --> 01:14:34.087
We're not, um, I don't need to do marriage ministry.

1801
01:14:34.107 --> 01:14:35.788
There's some good marriage ministries out there.

1802
01:14:35.888 --> 01:14:36.588
Well, that's the thing.

1803
01:14:36.608 --> 01:14:37.609
You've got to stay focused.

1804
01:14:37.649 --> 01:14:44.793
And one of the aspects of being focused is focus comes about by cutting away the inconsequential, the things that don't belong.

1805
01:14:45.073 --> 01:14:46.374
Well, dude, we're in.

1806
01:14:46.394 --> 01:14:48.955
So you're not a marriage ministry, but you affect marriages.

1807
01:14:49.095 --> 01:14:49.435
That's right.

1808
01:14:49.455 --> 01:14:50.916
That's what we do with Christian Medicine Network.

1809
01:14:50.936 --> 01:14:52.237
We're not a marriage ministry.

1810
01:14:52.277 --> 01:14:52.937
We're not this.

1811
01:14:52.997 --> 01:14:53.598
We're not that.

1812
01:14:54.238 --> 01:15:01.060
But we do affect every part of that because when you change the life of a father, you change the history of a family.

1813
01:15:01.120 --> 01:15:03.981
I'm trying to like, I'm trying to model you.

1814
01:15:04.201 --> 01:15:07.843
So one of the things I love about what you've done, I call it.

1815
01:15:08.663 --> 01:15:12.424
You've decentralized the priesthood and you've decentralized the place.

1816
01:15:13.004 --> 01:15:23.408
Like I remember one of our first conversations, you talking about the activity in Brazil and, and how you have empowered those in Brazil to reach the Brazilians.

1817
01:15:24.408 --> 01:15:31.554
And, you know, better man's in 60 countries, you know, a few languages, but we're not an international ministry.

1818
01:15:31.654 --> 01:15:36.839
If anything, I would just call you up and say, hey, Paul, how do we how do we partner with CMN?

1819
01:15:36.899 --> 01:15:42.003
Like, how do we because no one does it better than you, in my opinion, in that arena?

1820
01:15:42.644 --> 01:15:43.464
Right.

1821
01:15:44.185 --> 01:15:47.288
And that's that's what that's what we've gotten really good at.

1822
01:15:47.388 --> 01:15:50.832
I don't I don't have to be anything else.

1823
01:15:51.412 --> 01:15:54.375
I am I am completely comfortable with being an on ramp.

1824
01:15:55.416 --> 01:16:03.765
And looking back at your pastoring, would you have been better served spending more time discipling a few men than?

1825
01:16:05.521 --> 01:16:09.243
than coming up with the next greatest sermon on a Sunday.

1826
01:16:09.403 --> 01:16:13.264
Yeah, I would have, honestly, I have no regrets in my life.

1827
01:16:13.605 --> 01:16:19.247
And I can say that, but I would like some do-overs.

1828
01:16:19.987 --> 01:16:27.671
And if I could have a do-over, honestly, I probably would have been, not probably.

1829
01:16:29.152 --> 01:16:37.777
During that season, I would have I would have most benefited my home, my church, my community if I practice law and discipled men.

1830
01:16:39.902 --> 01:16:43.884
should have never, should have never, shouldn't have walked away from that.

1831
01:16:44.124 --> 01:16:44.344
Yeah.

1832
01:16:44.664 --> 01:16:50.086
I should have just, I should have practiced law and discipled men and I could have been a huge blessing to my community.

1833
01:16:50.126 --> 01:16:52.407
Now, Lord redeems all things.

1834
01:16:52.427 --> 01:16:57.510
The Lord takes this and, and, and I could see how things in my past are now helping my future, all of that.

1835
01:16:58.230 --> 01:17:01.811
But that, that was eight years of just desert, man.

1836
01:17:02.352 --> 01:17:02.552
And, and,

1837
01:17:03.503 --> 01:17:06.185
Yeah, it's all things work together for good, but not all things are good.

1838
01:17:06.705 --> 01:17:07.145
Amen.

1839
01:17:07.485 --> 01:17:07.885
Amen.

1840
01:17:08.166 --> 01:17:15.470
You know, it's like, again, we come back to the music thing, which drives culture, music and movies, right?

1841
01:17:16.490 --> 01:17:19.012
Spielberg says that, and so it must be true.

1842
01:17:19.272 --> 01:17:19.712
That's right.

1843
01:17:20.012 --> 01:17:28.857
So the thing is, is that we have a tendency, there's a song about if it's not good, God's not finished, right?

1844
01:17:30.447 --> 01:17:37.834
But the problem is that the gist of that song is if it's not good, you're probably wrong.

1845
01:17:38.175 --> 01:17:38.435
Right.

1846
01:17:38.595 --> 01:17:39.376
God's working on it.

1847
01:17:39.396 --> 01:17:40.737
Or you're outside of his will, favor.

1848
01:17:40.757 --> 01:17:41.498
Yeah, you messed up.

1849
01:17:41.938 --> 01:17:42.139
Yeah.

1850
01:17:42.339 --> 01:17:48.285
You know, the bad thing, you know, again, we come to this thing of I'm going through a difficult time.

1851
01:17:48.985 --> 01:17:50.347
Am I out of the will of God?

1852
01:17:50.687 --> 01:17:50.907
Yeah.

1853
01:17:52.949 --> 01:17:54.791
Yeah, no, you're probably right in the middle of it.

1854
01:17:56.910 --> 01:17:57.110
Yeah.

1855
01:17:57.550 --> 01:18:00.332
You know, God, God did not.

1856
01:18:01.633 --> 01:18:02.734
I got to be careful how I say this.

1857
01:18:04.975 --> 01:18:09.278
You know, the Babylonian Empire is exactly what Israel needed in that moment.

1858
01:18:09.938 --> 01:18:10.198
Hmm.

1859
01:18:12.299 --> 01:18:21.865
And God used the Babylonian Empire to both cleanse and purify and strengthen his people.

1860
01:18:23.366 --> 01:18:24.467
He used the Assyrians.

1861
01:18:25.963 --> 01:18:30.907
Um, it's amazing what, what, what God Joni Erickson Tata said it best.

1862
01:18:31.528 --> 01:18:34.930
She said, God will allow what he hates to accomplish what he loves.

1863
01:18:36.432 --> 01:18:36.672
Wow.

1864
01:18:37.192 --> 01:18:41.996
And that's, that's, you know, what I love.

1865
01:18:42.316 --> 01:18:47.781
And, and I was telling somebody this the other day, people, people think a storm destroys things.

1866
01:18:48.421 --> 01:18:48.742
Not true.

1867
01:18:49.802 --> 01:18:52.825
The only thing the storm does is reveal what wasn't tied down.

1868
01:18:53.292 --> 01:18:53.712
Hmm.

1869
01:18:54.893 --> 01:18:56.053
That's good.

1870
01:18:56.153 --> 01:18:57.293
That's what the story does.

1871
01:18:57.313 --> 01:18:58.274
Kentucky wisdom, right?

1872
01:18:58.314 --> 01:18:58.734
That's it.

1873
01:18:59.294 --> 01:18:59.954
The storm.

1874
01:18:59.974 --> 01:19:00.534
That's right.

1875
01:19:00.574 --> 01:19:02.055
I lived, I lived in a trailer park, bro.

1876
01:19:02.095 --> 01:19:02.635
Tornadoes.

1877
01:19:02.655 --> 01:19:03.655
That was our biggest fear.

1878
01:19:04.756 --> 01:19:08.377
The only thing the storm does is just reveal was, was not anchored.

1879
01:19:09.037 --> 01:19:09.918
What's not tied down.

1880
01:19:11.198 --> 01:19:12.979
And I got my second sermon.

1881
01:19:13.119 --> 01:19:16.660
And if you, if you look at it like that, then the storm's a blessing.

1882
01:19:17.040 --> 01:19:17.280
Yeah.

1883
01:19:18.453 --> 01:19:20.674
It's a, it's, it's a, it's a benefit.

1884
01:19:22.296 --> 01:19:24.597
Um, uh, and it just, it reframes everything.

1885
01:19:25.398 --> 01:19:25.578
Yeah.

1886
01:19:25.838 --> 01:19:26.158
Yeah.

1887
01:19:26.758 --> 01:19:30.541
You know, that whole, that whole piece, uh, being out of the will of God, I've got guys.

1888
01:19:30.561 --> 01:19:31.281
Yeah, I'm in a storm.

1889
01:19:31.602 --> 01:19:33.783
Just, I missed God and something.

1890
01:19:34.203 --> 01:19:35.945
And I'm like, the disciples didn't miss God.

1891
01:19:35.965 --> 01:19:38.366
And they ended up storms all the time, all the time.

1892
01:19:38.386 --> 01:19:39.467
And they didn't miss God.

1893
01:19:39.687 --> 01:19:41.168
Ended up getting killed by people.

1894
01:19:41.308 --> 01:19:41.528
Yeah.

1895
01:19:41.868 --> 01:19:44.190
Well, he, well, Jesus was in the storm with him.

1896
01:19:44.721 --> 01:19:48.225
Yeah, he was literally is the prince of peace.

1897
01:19:48.245 --> 01:19:49.426
He's not the prince of panic.

1898
01:19:49.466 --> 01:19:49.666
Yeah.

1899
01:19:49.786 --> 01:19:59.257
And and and what I tell men all the time is the Lord, the Lord promise the Lord never promised your life to be storm free, but he can make you storm proof.

1900
01:19:59.817 --> 01:20:00.218
Wow.

1901
01:20:00.318 --> 01:20:02.700
And that's what that's what he's doing.

1902
01:20:02.720 --> 01:20:05.163
Like, that's that's that's what the weather does.

1903
01:20:05.183 --> 01:20:05.984
That's so good.

1904
01:20:06.464 --> 01:20:15.427
And, and, and, you know, you have to go through the, you have to go through the rain to, to, to your point, you said it earlier, man, you got to experience it.

1905
01:20:15.747 --> 01:20:17.528
You got to have scars, right?

1906
01:20:17.588 --> 01:20:19.248
Otherwise there's no, there's no toughness.

1907
01:20:19.288 --> 01:20:19.568
Yeah.

1908
01:20:19.988 --> 01:20:28.751
And that, that means you're trying stuff that you're, you're going after risk and we are, we live in such a risk of verse culture for sure.

1909
01:20:28.791 --> 01:20:29.091
Yeah.

1910
01:20:29.111 --> 01:20:29.651
I don't try that.

1911
01:20:30.031 --> 01:20:31.072
I have a guy who tried that.

1912
01:20:32.054 --> 01:20:37.698
And I think the beauty of being a young man still is that you risk and you go after it.

1913
01:20:38.199 --> 01:20:38.539
Yeah.

1914
01:20:38.579 --> 01:20:38.879
You know?

1915
01:20:39.319 --> 01:20:39.620
Yeah.

1916
01:20:39.780 --> 01:20:41.281
And there's going to be some bumps and bruises.

1917
01:20:41.541 --> 01:20:41.761
Yeah.

1918
01:20:41.941 --> 01:20:43.322
But you just go after it.

1919
01:20:43.463 --> 01:20:51.208
And it's the beauty about doing that at a young age is it's high reward, low loss.

1920
01:20:52.409 --> 01:20:53.290
The older you get.

1921
01:20:55.068 --> 01:20:57.130
it's a bigger loss if you don't hit it.

1922
01:20:57.490 --> 01:21:02.836
But as a young man, you can swing, bro, and miss, and it not really affect you that much.

1923
01:21:03.336 --> 01:21:08.521
You get into your 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and you swing and miss, and sometimes it's a different way.

1924
01:21:08.601 --> 01:21:13.706
There was that story, the apocryphal story, I'm sure, of a man who stood up and he's...

1925
01:21:14.367 --> 01:21:17.430
In his 50s, he talks about a man who was in his 20s.

1926
01:21:17.450 --> 01:21:22.336
He took a risk, risked everything, the house, everything to make this thing happen.

1927
01:21:22.376 --> 01:21:25.619
Now he's standing as a successful man who built a business.

1928
01:21:26.260 --> 01:21:27.941
He said, you just got to go after it.

1929
01:21:28.582 --> 01:21:29.884
I gave away everything.

1930
01:21:30.524 --> 01:21:33.247
Somebody raises his hand and says, I dare you to do it again.

1931
01:21:33.267 --> 01:21:33.868
That's right.

1932
01:21:35.202 --> 01:21:37.744
That's so good.

1933
01:21:38.124 --> 01:21:38.604
Hang on.

1934
01:21:39.225 --> 01:21:39.945
Wait a second.

1935
01:21:40.166 --> 01:21:42.647
I'm telling you, we get comfortable, man.

1936
01:21:43.208 --> 01:21:43.508
For sure.

1937
01:21:43.528 --> 01:21:44.229
We get comfortable.

1938
01:21:44.249 --> 01:21:47.731
We get comfortable with church life, and we get comfortable doing church.

1939
01:21:47.931 --> 01:21:48.792
Yeah.

1940
01:21:49.092 --> 01:21:54.156
And I do believe that a lot of men don't disciple men because there's a risk.

1941
01:21:55.110 --> 01:21:56.592
And because there's vulnerability.

1942
01:21:56.752 --> 01:21:57.193
For sure.

1943
01:21:57.213 --> 01:21:59.095
You know, Jesus sat with these guys.

1944
01:21:59.135 --> 01:22:00.196
They saw his life.

1945
01:22:00.256 --> 01:22:01.578
They saw what was going on.

1946
01:22:01.798 --> 01:22:02.038
Yeah.

1947
01:22:02.459 --> 01:22:03.680
They saw the tension.

1948
01:22:03.760 --> 01:22:04.561
They felt it.

1949
01:22:04.581 --> 01:22:10.568
I mean, there was a guy in the small group that had murder in his mind.

1950
01:22:10.708 --> 01:22:10.849
Yeah.

1951
01:22:10.869 --> 01:22:11.629
It was like, ah, yeah.

1952
01:22:12.090 --> 01:22:13.731
Let me make some money on this deal.

1953
01:22:13.971 --> 01:22:14.191
Yeah.

1954
01:22:14.312 --> 01:22:16.973
There's some tension in the air all the time.

1955
01:22:17.213 --> 01:22:18.074
It's messy.

1956
01:22:18.174 --> 01:22:18.494
Yeah.

1957
01:22:18.594 --> 01:22:23.178
And then you get the shame and guilt thing with Peter, you know, John 21.

1958
01:22:23.778 --> 01:22:25.039
It's just such a beautiful story.

1959
01:22:25.079 --> 01:22:29.162
My little shorthand on that is guilt is knowing you made a mistake.

1960
01:22:29.802 --> 01:22:31.143
And Peter was able to deal with that.

1961
01:22:31.923 --> 01:22:35.626
But what Jesus dealt with in John 21, where he, you know, he had the,

1962
01:22:37.055 --> 01:22:45.056
You know, the whole thing where he swam in, he asked him three times, he, you know, denied Christ three times.

1963
01:22:45.116 --> 01:22:46.497
Guilt is knowing you made a mistake.

1964
01:22:46.517 --> 01:22:47.897
And I think he was able to deal with that.

1965
01:22:47.937 --> 01:22:49.937
But shame is believing you are the mistake.

1966
01:22:49.977 --> 01:22:50.357
Come on.

1967
01:22:50.457 --> 01:22:51.017
That's a word.

1968
01:22:51.538 --> 01:22:54.858
And so Peter decided, dude, that's just who I am.

1969
01:22:55.158 --> 01:22:55.738
That's me.

1970
01:22:55.918 --> 01:22:58.119
And Jesus reframed him.

1971
01:22:58.319 --> 01:22:58.579
Yeah.

1972
01:22:58.879 --> 01:22:59.739
And feed my sheep.

1973
01:23:00.319 --> 01:23:02.700
And he gave him that prophetic word about you're going to grow old.

1974
01:23:02.880 --> 01:23:03.280
That's right.

1975
01:23:03.320 --> 01:23:04.660
Or don't worry about what people do.

1976
01:23:05.340 --> 01:23:09.923
you know, you're going to end up getting killed, but you're going to, you know, you gave them prophetic words, a weird prophetic word.

1977
01:23:10.063 --> 01:23:10.263
Yeah.

1978
01:23:10.583 --> 01:23:12.544
You know, when you're younger, you go anywhere you want it.

1979
01:23:12.564 --> 01:23:13.925
When you're older, they're going to lead you around.

1980
01:23:14.365 --> 01:23:16.407
But the word was, hey, be bold.

1981
01:23:16.787 --> 01:23:16.987
Yeah.

1982
01:23:17.107 --> 01:23:18.368
Because you're going to live a long life.

1983
01:23:18.488 --> 01:23:18.848
That's right.

1984
01:23:18.868 --> 01:23:19.628
No matter what gets thrown.

1985
01:23:19.668 --> 01:23:20.189
Come on.

1986
01:23:20.349 --> 01:23:22.050
It's a really interesting prophetic word.

1987
01:23:22.350 --> 01:23:22.670
I love it.

1988
01:23:22.710 --> 01:23:24.952
The other interesting thing, just a little sidebar.

1989
01:23:25.780 --> 01:23:29.581
You know, because we're talking about the life of Jesus in Nazareth.

1990
01:23:29.801 --> 01:23:31.962
We were talking about that at the very start of our conversation.

1991
01:23:32.022 --> 01:23:32.222
Yep.

1992
01:23:33.002 --> 01:23:34.663
And we're good to come out of Nazareth.

1993
01:23:35.343 --> 01:23:36.304
And I do think it's funny.

1994
01:23:36.324 --> 01:23:41.105
I was talking about with Matlock the other day about this, about John 2.

1995
01:23:41.265 --> 01:23:42.566
Jesus has this miracles.

1996
01:23:43.556 --> 01:23:45.738
You know, the miracle of the water turning into wine.

1997
01:23:46.439 --> 01:23:47.880
And this is his first thing.

1998
01:23:47.961 --> 01:23:49.242
This is his coming out.

1999
01:23:49.502 --> 01:23:51.324
His mom puts him up to this deal.

2000
01:23:51.424 --> 01:23:51.804
Oh, yeah.

2001
01:23:51.965 --> 01:23:52.826
Hey, you got to do this.

2002
01:23:52.946 --> 01:23:53.546
My friends.

2003
01:23:54.287 --> 01:23:56.049
He's like, Mom, I'm not doing this yet.

2004
01:23:56.970 --> 01:23:58.651
She says, no, no, it's my friends.

2005
01:23:58.952 --> 01:24:00.153
We both know who you are.

2006
01:24:00.473 --> 01:24:01.434
Can you do something?

2007
01:24:01.454 --> 01:24:01.735
Yeah.

2008
01:24:02.195 --> 01:24:05.399
does the miracle, and immediately moves to Capernaum.

2009
01:24:05.940 --> 01:24:09.044
Like the next verse is, and Jesus moved to Capernaum.

2010
01:24:09.064 --> 01:24:10.526
He's out of Nazareth, man.

2011
01:24:10.706 --> 01:24:11.588
That's right.

2012
01:24:11.608 --> 01:24:14.952
Capernaum was this nice city on the lake.

2013
01:24:15.112 --> 01:24:15.473
Oh, yeah.

2014
01:24:15.733 --> 01:24:18.377
You know, bigger synagogue, bigger amplification.

2015
01:24:18.737 --> 01:24:19.518
Like, I'm out.

2016
01:24:20.259 --> 01:24:23.061
Of course, then they dig a hole in the top of his roof of his house.

2017
01:24:23.081 --> 01:24:23.581
That's right.

2018
01:24:23.822 --> 01:24:27.644
But it's fascinating stuff that Jesus lived real life.

2019
01:24:28.345 --> 01:24:32.828
So when we're talking about a young man, because we were going back to buying a scout or doing all these things.

2020
01:24:33.108 --> 01:24:38.933
Hey, when his ministry began, he moved to a place that was more conducive to his health.

2021
01:24:39.553 --> 01:24:42.156
his life, he's walking on the seashore with guys.

2022
01:24:42.176 --> 01:24:44.178
We see it over and over, right?

2023
01:24:44.278 --> 01:24:46.861
So now it benefits his ministry.

2024
01:24:47.622 --> 01:24:52.647
I'm just saying, you know, if God has put into your heart to build a business,

2025
01:24:53.615 --> 01:24:54.696
Then build a bigger business.

2026
01:24:54.936 --> 01:24:55.356
For sure.

2027
01:24:55.537 --> 01:24:56.998
You know, crank it.

2028
01:24:57.218 --> 01:24:57.458
Yeah.

2029
01:24:57.478 --> 01:24:58.139
Make it go.

2030
01:24:58.719 --> 01:25:05.084
And if God's blessed you with being able to have a cabin in the woods so you can go and think and pray or whatever it is.

2031
01:25:05.124 --> 01:25:05.785
Read, write, do it.

2032
01:25:05.805 --> 01:25:06.185
You know what?

2033
01:25:06.205 --> 01:25:07.186
You should have the cabin.

2034
01:25:07.426 --> 01:25:08.127
Yeah.

2035
01:25:08.827 --> 01:25:14.092
And at the same time, because your life is benefiting people and because you're a giver.

2036
01:25:14.853 --> 01:25:15.534
You're a donor.

2037
01:25:15.574 --> 01:25:17.195
You're helping people do stuff.

2038
01:25:17.395 --> 01:25:17.596
Yeah.

2039
01:25:18.096 --> 01:25:23.001
I just, you know, it's that old phrase about, you know, it's the problem is not having stuff.

2040
01:25:23.021 --> 01:25:24.362
The problem is stuff having you.

2041
01:25:24.382 --> 01:25:24.802
That's right.

2042
01:25:25.022 --> 01:25:28.245
Well, you got Jonathan Edwards, you know, the great Jonathan Edwards.

2043
01:25:28.306 --> 01:25:29.827
His philosophy on money was simple.

2044
01:25:30.387 --> 01:25:31.589
Make as much money as you can.

2045
01:25:32.569 --> 01:25:33.570
Save as much as you can.

2046
01:25:33.791 --> 01:25:34.872
Give away as much as you can.

2047
01:25:34.952 --> 01:25:35.312
Yeah.

2048
01:25:35.632 --> 01:25:36.333
And just keep doing that.

2049
01:25:36.608 --> 01:25:37.908
Yeah, that's really simple.

2050
01:25:37.988 --> 01:25:38.588
I like that.

2051
01:25:38.928 --> 01:25:39.609
That's it.

2052
01:25:39.629 --> 01:25:39.949
I like that.

2053
01:25:39.969 --> 01:25:41.369
Hey, Harp, thanks for being here, man.

2054
01:25:41.629 --> 01:25:43.689
Love being here with you, bro.

2055
01:25:43.809 --> 01:25:45.710
We should just do this on a regular basis.

2056
01:25:45.810 --> 01:25:46.530
Be incredible.

2057
01:25:46.630 --> 01:25:46.930
You know?

2058
01:25:47.090 --> 01:25:48.150
I was fired for my last one.

2059
01:25:48.170 --> 01:25:48.730
I got time.

2060
01:25:48.750 --> 01:25:52.191
I would get more sermons.

2061
01:25:52.431 --> 01:25:53.631
That's great stuff.

2062
01:25:54.652 --> 01:25:56.212
Anyway, thanks for being on Braveman.

2063
01:25:56.352 --> 01:25:57.112
I'll see you soon, brother.

2064
01:25:57.132 --> 01:25:58.853
We're praying for you and for your family.

2065
01:25:59.273 --> 01:25:59.873
Thank you, dude.

2066
01:26:00.133 --> 01:26:00.853
Love you too, buddy.

2067
01:26:04.243 --> 01:26:10.267
This has been Brave Men with Paul Lewis Cole, sponsored by the Christian Men's Network.

2068
01:26:11.148 --> 01:26:15.631
CMN resources for discipling men are at cmn.men.