Brave Men S2E31: Triage For A Troubled Heart

I'm sitting on the deck of a cabin up in Oklahoma. We were quarantined and have been quarantined in our house in Dallas for I guess six weeks a little over six weeks in front of mine. Great friend Tony Rory said I've got a little cabin up in Oklahoma. You guys want to go stay? I said yeah, I'd get out of town But you know for so many people it's been there's still there. They're still locked up Peru 5 p.m. Curfew France the same type of thing other countries other places some places in the United States starting to loosen up But I needed to talk to you about something extremely important. It's about your heart and my heart And so today triage for a troubled heart You see the problem is for thousands of women and children across America the stay in place decrease Became a stay in hell decree domestic violence Absolutely surged as did suicide rates economic distress daily confinement It has pushed men over the dark precipice of anger fear anxiety depression and rage So today I want to talk about how do we respond? How do we respond inside this? How do we respond on the other side of this because the issue is? A man doesn't rise to the occasion. We say well when the trouble comes will rise to it A man doesn't rise to the occasion We rise or fall to the level of our preparation How you've prepared your heart that's That's where you go and that's how You end up living It's to the level of how you've prepared it was Bobby Knight the great philosopher and basketball coach Who said the will to win doesn't win games? Everyone has that It's the will to prepare to win That gains the victory triage for the troubled heart today on brave men It's brave man with Paul Lewis Cole Wisdom encourage for the journey Thanks for taking some time to be with us on brave man and be with me All right, if you would like to know more about what we do with christian men's network You can find out at cmn dot men cmn dot men Or you can actually drop me a line at Paul at cmn dot men Paul at cmn dot men today triage for the troubled heart Isaiah three God spoke to Israel and he said He basically is corrected them again I made the first covenant over at over is a picture of God trying to bring some people to a place Maturity and then the second covenant is the power to go there He said I'll take two things out of your culture and when I take these two things it'll tip over and that is the hero in the warrior Every great culture is built on the character of its heroes and the courage of its warriors the character Of its heroes and the courage of its warriors. That's Isaiah three verse two I'll take out of you the hero in the warrior those two things You said the first two things I'll take out will be what starts tipping it over it's like Like if you've cut a log down, you know cut a tree down and make some logs for the fire Which we do out here at oak low or somebody did for me Here in Oklahoma had some split wood When you cut a tree down you notch it in order for it to follow a certain direction You see men are like trees we tend to fall the way we're leaning That little notch that little hit we kind of end up going that way So what is it we need to build into our Hearts what is it we need to put inside of us so that in the middle of the trial and the middle of the test We end up strong we end up with hope we may we end up with men We know our moral compass. We know our sense of destiny and purpose Here's the thing I'm going to give you five keys That will help everyone in fact write some of these things down because this will help somebody you know someone you know right now needs a text or phone call or Maybe even a little notes as hey listen to brave men listen to the podcast So here are five things out of extensive studies and decades of work in the field of dealing with guys like me guys who don't always listen the first time And and we get stressed and under pressure things happen, you know pressure magnifies pressure magnifies it makes things larger So this rage this stuff. I mean I talked with John Elders the other day when we were on our Interview with for for the brave men podcast And and John said John said every man needs a trash can lid in a baseball bat So well, why is that he says so he can take the trash can lid outside Take the baseball bat and beat the hell out of the trash can lid Said really he said yeah Then then he can go back in and apologize to his kids or repent to his wife and take care of business just get it out And uh, so let me give you things that will that will get this out Because this is key number one regain your rhythm number one regain your rhythm if you have been In quarantine if you've been in this lockdown thing regardless of whether you think it's right or wrong or how it was done If you've been there It's very easy to lose our rhythm Very easy to just get up late To do things that don't matter to get easily distracted by movies and stuff and whatever and end up living day after day without really getting anything done So regain your rhythm get up and start thank god for the breath in your lungs start your day with healthy input your input determines your output In other words, you're thinking how you think is based on what you put in And you're thinking Remember this we've talked about this before you and I Your thinking is perfectly designed to achieve the results you're now getting Oh man that can hurt Your thinking is perfectly designed to achieve the results you're now getting in other words where what we're living in not not the context You know whether that be quarantine or or the job you where you're living right now in your attitude your heart your spirit your mind your demeanor All of those things are based on the input if you put in your life. So what you're living in right now is based on yesterday's choices So I recommend reading the book of Proverbs every morning take 10 minutes let peace get into your thought life and and get back up You know get get going regain your rhythm I love Steve weatherford with weatherford five and he's doing a daily Same time every single day 8 a.m West Coast time does man academy With his son ace in about 185 to 200 other guys on zoom every morning Just regain your rhythm just get it going um I had a guy the other day he said It was the fact it was a live Instagram call. He says hey pray for me my wife and I'd like to have a baby You know, uh because I joked I said you know it's gonna be a baby boom in December and January And the issue really for you and I is there's also going to be a divorce boom in the summer That's why we're talking about what we're talking about Greek gain your rhythm. Anyway, he told me on the IG Live he said uh, he said listen. I pray for my wife and I you know, we want to have a baby Then we're talking about some other things he goes. Yeah, I know man. I've lost my rhythm He said I've been taking a shower and days and he'll go yo, yo, yo, wait a minute wait wait wait Wait a minute you haven't taken shower and days And you want me to pray for you and your wife to have a baby. I'm not doing it man because they ain't gonna happen Regain your rhythm don't stay a victim if you don't have work volunteer to answer calls to the local food bank And or call some guys see if they're okay create a fixed starting point listen Create a fixed starting point each day randomness write this down Or just seared into your brain if you're driving randomness creates hopelessness Randomness creates hopelessness randomness creates hopelessness He just all over the map start with proverbs listen to a positive podcast have a coffee or a tea Breathe deeply be thankful Thankfulness is one of the most healthy exercises in life even medical science is proving that now number two Number one regain your rhythm number two get courageous and fight for your heart. Don't lay down bro Get up and if you can't get up at least sit up move in other words move in the right direction It takes courage to face needs it takes courage to tell your children you're sorry It takes courage to start over it takes courage to rebuild it takes courage to apologize It takes courage You know what the most frequent comment of people are is is that is there dying this is this is uh two different doctors of written books Or practitioners guy people who are there when someone passes away It said the most frequent comments are this what they didn't say what they didn't do and who they didn't love I should have said this I should have done this I didn't do that And I I don't know that I ever loved fully Or I didn't know I didn't that person didn't know I love them regret is a gut punch Don't take the hit get brave even if you know feel brave Hey, listen, even if you don't feel brave. What do you think brave would do if brave was brave Even if you don't feel brave What would brave do if you were brave the more you move in that direction in other words It's something we talked about in chapter five of strong minute tough times in our Monday night Meetings and that's on YouTube still chapter five what you submit to become stronger what you resist becomes weaker What you submit to becomes stronger So when you get courageous when you when you make the call you fill out an employment application You begin to rebuild your business courage begins to build So start with one thing Start with one thing one moment And then repeat it and do and do another one thing tomorrow We had a man you you may have heard him on brave men podcasts if you didn't you need to go back and listen to him Benjamin Watson great NFL player wrote a best-selling book called under our skin And in that in that book he talked about racism he talked about his Issues and he got really vulnerable and really honest And it took courage For Ben Watson and athlete over here. Hey, what a great guy and he starts writing about In fact, it started as a Facebook post he wrote it on his phone waiting for his wife who was in getting some Cosmetics or something You can probably hear in the background some of the birds and there's guys building a cabin Out in through the woods behind this one. There was a dog a while ago. I thought he might be part of this podcast Who was barking and everything but Ben Uh, wrote this thing on Facebook And and it happened after that the terrible tragedy and Ferguson Missouri And he he just typed this thing up and it's got shared a million times It just went crazy and from that came a book under our skin. Well, here's what here's what I'm talking about courage He he just took a small step. He he said I didn't even know if anybody would read it Started as a little Facebook post, you know post Started as a little Facebook post and then There it was again, you know, I mean it just came up and then came up and then now it's a book and he speaks to those things You know the pandemic was already a emotional issue Even before the pandemic because there was a like a moving target. What's a what's a man look like? What's a man act like what's masculinity looks like and now in the middle of it He gets super emotional you got to have courage and fight for your heart Stephen Mansfield set on a recent podcast and brave man Here's the quote in fact, I'll read it men have it in their makeup to solve problems It's part of why a man feels useful and needed But now we're told you can't help go home and sit when men feel they are not needed They lose their sense of identity. There's no battle to fight and they'll victory to win So maybe the fight today is just a fight for your heart have the courage to fight for your heart Fight for your family and then that leads right into number three Number three is this vision is the fuel of overcomers Vision is the fuel of overcomers in other words write down a preferred destiny for the 18 months next 18 months and then reverse engineer it What class do you need to take what calls do you need to make? Who do you know that could help you who do you know how do you need to change your lifestyle to go after that vision? So he says well, I'm not sure how to do that. We know there's like 85 billion youtube videos And you could look up something you say well, I want to be a welder How to get into welding business man? They're probably 50 videos on how to get into welding business I'm not saying there are I haven't looked recently up, but there seems to be something like that, but What does it take? Get up each day create monthly goals toward that 18 month vision if you want to change your Job profession if you want to change how your family is change the atmosphere in a home What do you need to do over that next 18 months and then create a monthly goal and then create a daily goal and then get up each day This is when we're talking about A daily rhythm right and we're talking about courage and now we're talking about vision You need rhythm courage and then vision Is he get up each day and just make one move towards that goal small steps lead to remarkable destinations Small steps lead to remarkable destinations small doors can open up into large rooms A man without a vision for his future will always return to his past You and I have talked about this before When you have a vision you can start moving and God doesn't get people say to me all that man I just need direction in my life need direction I usually look at him go hey bro, you know, God doesn't give direction to park cars I put that in the book Just a bartender about identity and all those books and materials and everything we have is available at cmman.man That's christian min's network cmn.man cmn.man. Hey, you know what we're also on the we also have an app In the iTunes store at Google Play Store App stores there's an app called cmm radio christian min's network cmm radio and cmm radio 24 hours a day seven days a week Has has all kinds of content from RT Kindle jack hayford Bishop jakes mark charona casey treat Michael murphy mag just go right on down the line dwayne pick at michael phillips Bishop dale bronner who's our chairman Fanta amazing content robber bearer Anyway, and that's also on achieve lab.org achieve lab.org achieve lab is a curated uh Website for men. It's inspiring full of courage. It's revelational. It'll grow your heart in larger life And that's achieve lab achieve lab.org achieve lab.org so Go for it move moving the right direction Tyler Perry was a homeless Kid man early in his early 20s In Atlanta he had in fact his car was parked on Sylvan road In Atlanta and he lived in a car for three months and he wrote down a vision So my plays and the things i'm writing right now are going to be Actually on stage You know it didn't happen for seven years Seven years now he only lived in the car for three months but still three months Three months is a long time man when you're living in your car He wrote the vision down he wouldn't quit Seven years later his his first play Let me look it up here his first play Was i i can do bad all by myself i can do bad all by myself Played at the house of blue seven years Before that what he wrote down Happened but now he's one of the wealthiest men in america and has one of the largest studios in the world And he credits the lord. He says i'm a christian. I'm a believer and i wouldn't have been able to do this without faith Now number four so we talked about We talked about get your rhythm get courage Write the vision down vision as a fuel of overcomers and number four you need friends brothers Just write down number four brotherhood brotherhood Brotherhood is the foundation of emotional health The myth of the lone ranger is just that it's a myth We all need each other we were created in fact god before god was anything else he was god in community Listen here's the thing you say well i don't know if i need anybody if but there are people who need you There are men who need you So you know it's uh i love some of the books that have been written about men in war and warriors and you know what they say and we talk with uh with uh general jerry boykin who was one of the founders of the delta force When you're middle of the battle and bullets are flying and there's mayhem and chaos You're not thinking about the national anthem or the flag you're thinking about the man next to you The reason you don't run when there's the natural flight response of your body Is that your heart is connected to the man around you Those those guys See your family needs your loving arms you have brothers who need you we need our brothers You know we were designed by god dopamine uh nancy houston Our friend who's the great psychologist says dopamine is the marriage chemical Because it's secreted In our brains is a sense of satisfaction or pleasure and And we were designed by god to have that but the second most powerful chemical secreted in our brains is called oxytocin oxytocin is secreted when people bond Now men bond shoulder to shoulder facing a challenge women women bond face to face But men it's is basically shoulder to shoulder when you're doing something facing a challenge That's why the first thing god ever did for adam was giving them a job If he had a wife before he had anything else he had a job and you have a job my friend your job is to Become who you were designed to be so that the world around you sees Jesus We do a hashtag. It's called hashtag cm and brotherhood cm and brotherhood So i'd love you to look that up hashtag cm and brotherhood. We've got a lot of guys who've done things there and And i have also John 15 verses 15 through 17 Yeah, Jesus says says this the father says this through his son I no longer call you slaves because a master doesn't confide in his slaves Now you are my friends since I've told you everything the father told me you didn't choose me. I chose you I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit so that the father will give you whatever you ask for using my name This is my command love each other Another translation love one another and our friends in Indonesia Eddie Leo and his team They practice what they call the one another lifestyle They love one another the one another lifestyle You see this ministry what we do in discipling men A church of business whatever can be the result of purpose and communication and strategy and honor and work and sweat But fundamentally fundamentally This ministry is about brotherhood. It's about friendship It's about friendship and then number five So number one has been you know number one What we talked about today? Was this that you need to you need to just regain your rhythm Regain your rhythm Get you know pick it back up Establish it again To get courageous and fight for your heart A third we talked about having a vision vision is the fuel of overcomers Fourth we just talked about Brotherhood Brotherhood man those guys are starting to pound some nails over there now Building a cabin off the back of the I can see it's kind of through the trees where I'm sitting here on the It's a little deck outside this Cabin at Tony Rory has up in Oklahoma it took a few days off I know a few you guys well it's a few days off and I'm working but Nonetheless, we just just a little change of scene I think it's been good for us some hiking and stuff for Judy and I And then number five here we go the number five ready So four was brotherhood and then number five make the call make the call Tell somebody you need help be brave enough to help Somebody who you know he needs help But if you need help call your call your pastor your priest get help See true manhood is taking care of business the the nexus of true manhood the center point of Core of true manhood is taking care of business except in responsibility Bro listen man if you were rebuilding Uh an engine on your car trying to load a new program in your computer and you were kind of stopped you Kind of hit a dead end. What would you do you'd call it you'd call a friend or a helpline at least so This is so much more important than the engine or a program. This is your future So make the call call somebody Call somebody and then there's somebody you know who needs a call Well, that's it. That's the triage triage means that triage. I should have explained this at the beginning Let me explain it now triage for the trouble hard triage is basically rapid An escalated rapid resolve to a chaotic crisis issue You know when when first responders show up bam triage who's hurt? Who's not hurt? Who can walk who can't walk who need needs to be taken right now who will never need to be taken you know those five levels And so that's triage for the heart First John 1 9 says if we admit our sins and I love this in this Translation it says uh when we admit our sins when his light uncovers them he will be faithful to forgive us every time God is just to forgive us our sins because of Christ and he will continue to cleanse us from all Unrighteousness second Corinthians 517 if anyone's in Christ. He's a new creation old things have passed away all things have become new And let me close with this and let me just mention one other thing real quick on this make the call if you see abuse happening Don't turn away do something Do not turn away do something but What to do and what's proper is not always the same thing in other words It's not always right to physically intervene the national domestic violence hotline in the United States Can give you a whole level of intervention the hotline dot org the hotline dot org And domestic violence hotline and they'll tell you what kind of response to take call the police call somebody levels of intervention You need to know what that is because we all see something at some point And then Maybe somebody you need to call Skype or text you just need to ask him how are you and then they'll tell you I'm fine That's that's gonna be first. I'm good And then you say no seriously How are you and then be ready to be engaged all right be ready to be engaged Let me finish with this Romans 15 13 and thanks for taking the time to be with us on brave men And you can hit the listings and you can see all the different Programs we have and people have talked to Chad Hennings was a great interview I think of Willard Harley About marriage in relationships and then of course Nancy Houston's on there. She's amazing How to how to deal with grief and how to deal with You know Changing pivoting our lives Romans 15 13 here you go Now may God this is the passion translation now may God the inspiration and found of hope Fill you to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as you trust in him And made the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround your life with his super abundance Until you radiate with hope I'll see you next time. Thanks for being here on brave man Godless You've just experienced brave man with Paul Lewis Cole Paul is president of the Christian men's network connect with Paul at cmn.man or write to him at Paul at cmn.man