The Tenacious Pursuit of a Dream: The NFL Demario Davis Story

00:02 - Speaker 1 I'm here with Chris Shields, who's the producer for Brave Men, and we have Demario Davis on today. Chris, yeah, we do this guy's amazing. He is Now. You're an NFL guy, yes. 00:13 - Speaker 2 Well, NBA primarily. 00:15 - Speaker 1 Okay, you're NBA, but NFL. I mean, when I started talking about different things, you're like oh yeah, he played here, he played there that was a 3-4,. That was a 4-3. Here he played there. 00:23 - Speaker 2 Well, I mean three, four as a four, three. I'm a millennial, I mean I play madden, come on now madden, that's right. 00:27 - Speaker 1 Xbox and Demario Davis man. This guy's a linebacker, which means he has hit people extremely hard, hard capital h capital h because if you don't, you don't play for Rex Ryan. No, you don't, definitely for Rex Ryan. 00:44 - Speaker 2 No, you don't, definitely not for Rex Ryan. You've got to be bad. One of the most brilliant defensive minds ever in the. Nfl. Yeah. 00:52 - Speaker 1 Really as a coach. 00:53 - Speaker 2 yes, oh. 00:54 - Speaker 1 Yes, okay, yeah, but he's never been with the Cowboys. 00:59 - Speaker 2 I'm a Cowboys fan, I'm going to. 01:01 - Speaker 3 I'll be quiet on that, okay no comment dude man. 01:05 - Speaker 1 Seriously, no comment. All right, Demario Davis is on today. It's gonna be great, you know what? What really hit me in talking to him was what he was dreaming about in the streets in the middle of Mississippi, in the middle of nowhere, and his cousin, steve mcnair, was throwing him passes. 01:23 - Speaker 2 Yes, isn't that something that is amazing. 01:26 - Speaker 1 Yeah, you didn't know that connection when we first got a hold of him. I really didn't. 01:30 - Speaker 2 I really didn't. I mean, I was raised watching McNair. My dad really loved him especially in his days for the Titans, but at the same time. No, I never knew that until I listened. 01:40 - Speaker 1 And a tragic story and really, if you will, the contrast between where Demario is today and what happened tragically to Steve. Yes, His death Is the story of two men who had, if you will, two different devotions right, yes, yes, definitely One let God lead his story, and then one let himself lead the story, Let himself lead the story man. That's a good way to put it, Chris. I think everybody's going to enjoy this conversation today with Demario Davis. Thanks for being here with us today on Brave Men. 02:17 - Speaker 4 It's Brave Men with Paul Louis Cole, wisdom and courage for the journey. 02:23 - Speaker 1 Wisdom and courage for the journey, talking with Demario Davis. He is, uh, the founder of devoted dreamers foundation. He is, uh, he's a father with a brand new baby, four children and uh. But what you do for a living is knock people down with great passion and you're playing NFL. How does a kid growing up in Collins, Mississippi, end up in the NFL, man? Man, I mean, come on Listen, Demario, I looked up Collins because I got friends up in Jackson. Yeah, I thought, well, maybe, and Collins isn't near anything. Nothing, nothing, nothing, oh nothing. 03:06 - Speaker 3 Oh man, yeah man, I mean small city boy man, it's been a journey man. I can only give the glory to God. Yeah, the statistics were definitely stacked against me. My mom had me at an early age. I stayed with my grandmother. Well, my mom had to finish high school and college at an early age. I stayed with my grandmother when my mom had finished high school and college. Then my mom came back and got me and we ended up moving to Brandon, mississippi. You know, just me and her and you know my grandmother was the first one to introduce me to God and the Bible. So I always kind of knew right from wrong. 03:43 But as a young kid and staying in a rough environment with my mom, though, I was good at football. I struggled off the field, got in a lot of trouble, but my talent, you know, kind of kept me on the right track. You know I set a dream when I was in fourth grade and said I was going to the NFL. Really, all I could see. I mean no matter what trouble I got in, no matter, you know, I mean I was a kid that got expelled from school. I went to jail my first year of college. I was always getting caught up in stuff. But for some reason I always felt like, no matter what, I'm just going to stay on this path, going towards this goal. And by the grace of God I was able to make it out of Mississippi, get a scholarship to go to Arkansas State, had a good career there Ended up getting drafted. 04:30 - Speaker 1 Okay, you got drafted, but wait a minute, you got arrested when you were a freshman. Yeah, my freshman year Before I ever played a snap man Before you played a snap, so actually you were in Arkansas, so thank God for that. 04:44 - Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, Arkansas was just as bad. It wasn't just as bad for me in Arkansas as it could have been in Mississippi. 04:50 - Speaker 1 Well, it's football country, so you know, if you can play, we'll get you out and we'll put you back on the field, son, that's the only way I got out. 04:58 - Speaker 3 I mean, the coach paid the bill and he gave me a second chance. He didn't have to give me that. Well, there you go. Yeah, if ever indebted for that. And shortly after that I ended up getting introduced to the gospel. Our team chaplain shared the gospel with me. 05:15 - Speaker 1 How'd that happen? So you had a team chaplain, all right. So now here you are, you've been in and out in trouble and and your cousin, did you know your cousin mcnair steve? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and and steve ended up with some of the same issues, right? 05:30 - Speaker 3 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah um, uh, yeah, I mean, you know steve used to be quarterbacking for us when we were kids in the road, throwing us the ball and stuff like that. 05:39 - Speaker 1 We know play football and nobody had an arm like that man man but he was different. 05:44 - Speaker 3 So our team chaplain started to spend some time with me, some one-on-one time with me and, um, you know, asking me harder questions, questions challenging me, uh me what I thought a christian life looked like, uh, what I thought sin was. Um, you know, uh, what it meant to go to heaven and hell and did I feel like I would go just harder questions and then open up the Bible and started to show me what God's answer to a lot of those things and I ended up giving my life to Christ and getting discipled and doing evangelism training in college and literally my life took a 180. I mean, I was always good on the field, but off the field is where I would take steps back, and once I got those two aligned then you know it was a lightning rod. 06:29 - Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, that's one of the things that we talk about a lot, Demario is that your talent can take you beyond your character, and what God gave you was some talent. But thank God that a chaplain came along, took an interest in you. What was his name? Chuck McElroy. Chuck McElroy, Arkansas State chaplain. Was he chaplain just for football? 06:55 - Speaker 3 He was a campus director at the time and then ended up being a regional director for campus outreach, which is very similar to like Campus Crusades, Right, yeah. 07:04 - Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fantastic and he just took an interest in you. 07:07 - Speaker 3 Yeah, just started spending some time just started spending some time with me for whatever reason. I went to his Bible study a couple of times when I was a freshman, but, you know, for whatever reason. Once I got out of jail, he just started spending some time with me and just invited me to lunch. You know spending one on one time with me. You know just asking me questions, and the questions were so challenging that I would oftentimes avoid him trying to have those conversations, um but. But I didn't realize that that was a means to an end and that he would end up having the biggest impact on my life ever. 07:41 - Speaker 1 You know? Uh, so when that chaplain got ahold of you and came alongside of you, it was God answering your grandmother's prayers. Man, that's you know. That's amazing. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that same story, Demario, where a man going through life trying to run from God In fact, my dad put it this way. He said he tried to run from God, but he couldn't outrun his mother's prayers. That's it. 08:11 - Speaker 3 That's it, that's it, wow, yeah, that's it. 08:15 - Speaker 1 So here you are with this talent, and then, all of a sudden, the character element comes together and you end up out of Arkansas, I mean out of Collins, and then out of Brandon High School, you end up being drafted by the New York Jets. Yeah, and not just drafted, you're like third-round linebackers. So now, at this point, now you hit the big city. What was that like? 08:41 - Speaker 3 It was different. You know, it was definitely a culture shock. You know, being in the South my whole life and being a country boy going to the city. But I think what helped my wife and I sustain was that our foundation was right, because we both had these radical transformations in college. It helped us mature very quickly to these radical transformations in college. 09:04 It helped us mature very quickly and because we were rooted in the right things, you know, before we stepped into the league, you know, all of a sudden we found, with all this new income, these new resources, these new opportunities, we were trying to say, okay, god, how do we best steward this to you? And so, no matter where we are, whether we're in New, whether we in Mississippi, we in California, we in Africa, we in Europe, it don't matter. Our goal is to glorify you with all that we have and all that we do, and so that helped us exponentially to be able to balance and not get lost in the midst of the chaos. And you know they have this saying if you make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. So that's our claim to fame we survived New York and it was a great time. 09:53 - Speaker 1 It was a great season, yeah, but you had, but you know, god put you with some good guys. Rex Ryan is a guy that seemed like a man who cared about his players not just as pieces but as people. 10:06 - Speaker 3 Mm-hmm, his players not just as pieces but as people. Yeah, rex was a great coach, great defensive mind. He definitely helped me turn the corner or get the wheels turning of what all can be done as far as defense and flexibility and the range of it, and so he laid a great foundation for me to be able to come in with that type of defensive mind and the veteran guys that we had. We had Darrell Revis, antonio Camardi, you know, dave Harris. I got the chance to play with a lot of really good players on defense and that allowed me to have a great foundation. You know, as far as setting the precedence of what my career and laying that foundation is what has allowed me to be able to be at the level that I am today. 10:45 - Speaker 1 Where did you meet? Yeah, which is, you went to the Browns, back to the Jets and then free agent and then finally got back down south with the New Orleans Saints. 10:55 - Speaker 3 Yeah, man, that journey was. It was something, man, I feel like. You know, cleveland was my one year sabbatical man. That was my moment of Jacob wrestling with God and having to get his hip broke. That was my moment of wrestling with God and I didn't even realize. I mean, here I am coming to the league leading Bible studies as a believer, and God, you know, met me in Cleveland and said you still don't know what surrender means? Wow, and literally like he stripped my entire body. I mean I didn't have any major injuries, but like I was fatigued, my joints hurt, everything hurt. I didn't have any injuries, but I was just hurt. He stripped my mind. My mind was all the way. Like you know, I'm a guy that loves to practice. I love to train yeah, always been that way. But I would hate going to practice. All my ambition was just sucked out of me and I would go in my prayer closet just at nights and just be like broke down. 11:53 - Speaker 1 I didn't know, I didn't understand what was happening what was happening there and we're not gonna and we're not gonna blame Cleveland for that. I got some good friends here. Yeah, we're not gonna blame Cleveland. We're blaming Cleveland, but God was doing a work in your life. 12:06 - Speaker 3 Yes yes yes, tell me how that process worked. 12:09 - Speaker 1 We've got a lot of guys listening right now and you know, when Solomon prayed and he asked for wisdom, god says I'll give you wisdom. But in Kings it says he gave him wisdom and knowledge and largeness of heart. Yeah, and largeness of heart, yeah, and largeness of heart only happens by stretching Yep, yep. Basically, he told Solomon hey, I'll give you wisdom, but you're not big enough to contain the wisdom you need for tomorrow's battles. That's it. God began to stretch you. Too often we push back on that, Demario, that's good. How did you engage in that process? 12:44 - Speaker 3 I didn't know what was happening at the time, but all I know is I stayed faithful. I stayed before God with it, my body's breaking down, my mind's breaking down. I remember going and telling my wife I think I'm going to have to retire because my passion's gone, my body's hurting, I don't know what's going on. My passion's gone, my body's hurting, I don't know what's going on. And but my joy wasn't touched, my joy like I mean we were losing as the browns. I mean I had a happy home, I could find joy, my wife, my kids, right, I joined the lord. Every morning, I was spending having great time with him, um, and so I was able just to talk. 13:20 And I remember going in the closet and just breaking down and saying god, I can't do it, I can't go any, I can't go any farther, I can't go any farther. But I feel like you want to do this great thing in me inside this game. So you want me to go on, but I can't go on. So if you want me to go on, here is where I have to stop. I have to stop right here. I wave the white flag, I surrender. You're going to have to take me to the finish line. You're going to have to rejuvenate my mind, rejuvenate my body if you want me to go, but I surrender here, right, and that's no, uh, november of 2016. Right. 13:52 And I and I and I and I and I surrender. And it was almost as clear as days, like God was like, thank you for getting out my way, now I can operate, and it's not so. We want to have this vision of us walking beside God, like God needs us to put our feet on the ground. Yeah, not, god don't need, he, don't need no help. 14:11 he needs you in complete surrender yeah so the more that you decrease, the more that he can increase. And so, like I really felt that in my life, and then fast forward three months, uh, I'm training, and all of a sudden I'm training, I, I'm getting into bed. I would train three times in a day and I would get in bed at night and I'd tell my wife I'm like I'm not even tired. It made no sense. It made no sense I would work out and I would try to tire myself out. I would end up working out like four hours at a time. My body wouldn't get tired. 14:41 And all of a sudden I had this new passion and I could see clear as day Not in a boastful fact, but to this year to be the number one rated linebacker. I could see it way back then the clear path of what I needed to do to get there. I had never saw that before. It was like as clear as day, I could see the road, how to get there. So you're talking about a guy who feels like he's flailing his career and then all of a sudden he shoots to the top. Only God can do that, only God. And it was done to reflect his glory. But, like you said, it's for the battles of tomorrow. God was ready to elevate me to a position of leadership to do bigger things, but I wasn't in a place of true surrendering and understanding true surrender, where I would need to be, where he was going to place me. Because God needs to do these really big things in people who are totally surrendered to him. He can only do those in people that he know ain't going to get in the way. 15:34 - Speaker 1 You know what you're talking about. Though, when we talk about see, here's the thing Guys think about surrender in that sense as sort of a passive lay down thing. In that sense, as sort of a passive lay down thing, it actually took more courage to do that than to lay down in that sense. In other words, it took courage to say I'm surrendering this thing. And you had to have the courage to grab a hold of your own heart, you know, and say, hey, let's get out of the way. You know. 16:03 So, guys, too often they think of Christianity. First of all, they think of it as magic. You know, it's like a prey and stuff happens, or it doesn't, or it's just a ticket to get out of hell. And then, when we talk about surrender, they think of it as passive and somewhat feminine, right, but it takes a real man to say I'm going to humble myself, because victory is always on the other side of a fight. So your time in Cleveland, in that sense, spiritually, was a fight, fighting for your own heart. It was courage you had to have. You had to really trust God. 16:43 - Speaker 3 Let me tell you, man, so fast forward we come back. We're in a mini camp. You know right around where we are about this time now, where we would be right about this time. Right, I mean I and we got a new defensive coordinator. I'm lighting it up All of a sudden. I'm this nuclear, I'm go out. 17:01 One day my wife and I would go to the grocery store and my wife's in the Target doing her Target run we know how well-known wives can be in Target. Yeah, and I watched one of the guys, my former players, who I used to mentor. He had signed with another team, got a really large contract and I was kind of just sitting there kind of bitter with my, a little bitter with him, not because of envious of him, but just kind of wondering like God, it's almost with me, like you always take me the long way around. It's always like I have to take all these back roads to get to ultimately, like where I feel, like you're trying to take me and I, you know, just going back to high school and the journey of college and all that. And it was in that moment like I heard an audible voice another time, just talking with God. I used to hear him clear today and he told me. He said, if I didn't take you the long way around you specifically me you would not give me the glory Because of the route that I've taken. You. You can't help but give me the glory Because of the route that I've taken. You wouldn't help but give me the glory. And I said, okay, god, I get it At every level. What you're teaching me is how to give you glory more, so it's all about your glory. So I got that literally, literally, listen to this. 18:31 The next day I walk, I mean, I mean, I've been, I've been killing that practice as good as you can get it. The next day, I walk into the facility and I'm traded to new york. Like, literally, I had this moment where I have, like it's like's like, god's like. You got it, your time in Cleveland is done, you did it, it's good. The next day, back to the Jets. Back to the Jets and I was upset. I mean I'm like because at this point I'm excited, like I got a new coordinator, he loves me, I'm ready to have my best year. And I'm like, I feel like I'm getting demoted because I mean New York, they already have linebackers. Yeah, like you know, god, I feel demoted and I'm in a car getting it and I'm getting ready leaving the facility to go home and God's like you think you're being demoted, you are being promoted, and I mean the rest is history. 19:21 - Speaker 1 Boom yeah. The rest is history. It took off, and so tell me then, then what? First of all, where'd you meet your wife? What's her name? Where'd you meet her? 19:30 - Speaker 3 Tamela. Tamela is like Pamela with a T. We met in college a great a fate story. I remember setting my schedule to be. She moved. She was coming from Russ college to do her master's program at Arkansas state. We ended up in a class that she had already taken before but they were forcing her to take again, and I ended up in a class that I specifically said I didn't want to take. But the class I did select got me kicked. I got kicked out of that class, somehow booted from the system and they ended up putting me in the class I didn't want to take. And so we met in that class. That's crazy. 20:04 And great friends. 20:11 - Speaker 1 That's just crazy, man, that that is such a god setup right there. It is, man. It was something golly man, that's crazy. So you end up in Arkansas State, where's where's Tamela from? 20:20 - Speaker 3 uh, she's from Carthage. She's from Carthage, mississippi. 20:22 - Speaker 1 Okay, yes, she's southern yep, southern girl. Okay, so you guys at least had that yeah, we did, we did yeah, and then args us. And then uh did. Was she a follower of christ at that point? 20:37 - Speaker 3 uh, uh, yeah. So no, she wasn't on when I first met her. Um, she was. She was about the same. She was about the same as me. 20:46 Um, you know, had had been in church her whole life, um, and pretty much was a person that was trying to do more, more right than wrong. And, uh, I introduced her to some girls that was part of the same organization, uh, that I was in, and she went off to this retreat that they do every, uh, I think every March, and I mean she came back changed. I could see it in her eyes. I mean we were great friends at the time so we used to talk. 21:11 She came back changed and all of a sudden it was an understanding and I knew the understanding that she had had this newfound understanding because it was the same with me. It's like we've been doing church in our community wrong, like we don't understand the importance of Jesus in it. We don't understand the importance of Jesus and man, and so at that point we both started to grow rapidly. She went through a lot of the same evangelism training that I went through, that I had gone through a couple of years prior. Then in May we started to date, you know, and then in December I proposed, and then we were married the next July. 21:48 - Speaker 1 That's fantastic man, what a great story and really your faith journey has been a parallel. It started around the same time but, man, you had everything pulling you the wrong direction when you were coming up through junior high and high school, and I think most young men are like that today. I don't care what part of the country they're in, where they're at socioeconomically. They can be in a nice area, bad area, you know, however you want to define that and, man, the enemy is trying to pull them down and you know your peer group. How many of those guys are actually still around? I mean, you know, it's amazing what the enemy does in taking people out, oh, from high school and junior high and all that. 22:40 - Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, I only got two guys that I'm still so closely associated with from high school and for the most part, it's the ones I can afford to be associated with. Yeah, you know, and I mean, a lot of guys are still in the same place that they were in, if they're still around, you know. So it's just, it's unfortunate, you know, and it's just amazing what can happen when young men have mentors, strong mentors, and you know when the gospel can impact and radically transform lives. 23:24 - Speaker 1 Changes everything. There's a book. William Farrell is a secular author, he's at Stanford University, he's the former head of the National Organization for Women Legal Department up in New York and he began to look at why are boys in such crisis, why are men such wusses? And, of course, the National Organization for Women, it's one of the reasons. 23:48 - Speaker 2 Hey, this is Chris. Let me take a moment right in the middle of this great conversation to remind you how to get in touch with Paul and Christian Men's Network and the Global Fatherhood Initiative. You can find all the resources for mentoring and fatherhood at cmn.men that's cmn.men Also. You can write to Paul at paul@cmn.men that's cmn.men Also. You can write to Paul at paul@cmn.men. That's paul at cmn.men. We have tremendous resources for churches, with special discounts for groups on that website. Everything a church needs, from A to Z, to mentor and disciple men of all ages and backgrounds. Now let's get back to this awesome interview between Paul and Demario Davis. 24:35 - Speaker 1 So now you come out of that bad background, tell me about you know. Your mom was a young mom. She was coming through high school when you were born. Is that right? 24:49 - Speaker 3 high school when you were born. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, that's it. She, um, my mom ended up finishing school and I mean I applaud my mom. Once she had me, she turned all her energy towards me and making sure that I had what I needed to. I mean my mom always, from the time she came and got me, I mean she only left me with my grandmother while she finished school. You know she listened to my grandmother like just go finish school and then come get them, and that's what she did. And I mean my mom always had two and a half jobs. 25:17 My whole life, my whole life, I watched her work at two hospitals and then she went to cosmetology school. She would actually work two jobs and then do cosmetology school. She would actually work two jobs and then do cosmetology school at night. And I would walk through the door just like dog, tired and you know, just to provide for me. You know, and as a kid you know that's another one of those reasons why you push so hard. It's your dream. You're like I just can't. I don't want my mom living like this. This can't be where this ends. Like I knew, like I couldn't stop because of what stuff I wanted to give to her Right, yeah, but she held on. 25:54 - Speaker 1 But you know, it took courage on her part, Demario. It took courage on her part to say here, mom, you know, to your grandmother to say, here, mom, take care of my boy, I'm going to finish school. Man, that took courage. That took, you know, more cojones than most guys have. 26:13 - Speaker 3 Yeah, man, that took a lot, man, and it shows a lot of maturity too. Shows a lot of maturity. 26:19 - Speaker 1 Yeah, and what's her name? Sue Sue Davis. 26:28 - Speaker 3 Sue Davis. 26:28 - Speaker 1 Do you ever meet? 26:28 - Speaker 3 your dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my dad has always been in the picture. He was always in the picture. My dad was in the military, okay, and for whatever disagreements you know him and my mom had, he was doing his thing and it was just me and her. Like my dad, I would see him, you know. He would pop in and out around holidays, call and check on me. His voice was always there. It was just his presence that was lacking. That came most valuable in those teenage years, in those adolescent years. That's the most important years for a boy trying to become a man, process, all these different things, and you know, you see what's in your environment, you know, and the the strong leaders, uh, in in in the, the black community a lot of times are, uh, you know, drug dealers, um, guys that have athletic talent, you know, and those type of things, yeah, Success. 27:29 - Speaker 1 You know, success is measured by those things in the world in which we live. Yeah, and that's the issue. You know, that's really the issue, because real success isn't 22s on your car and half the time. I mean, come on tomorrow, let's get real Half the time. Those are rented by the week anyway. 27:47 - Speaker 3 That's it, that's it the week anyway, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it. 27:51 - Speaker 1 I mean I know this stuff, yeah. So William Farrell, when he did this book, the Boy Crisis, he starts studying why boys are not coming out the way they should and why they're not strong and why they're going the wrong direction and making bad choices, and why they're not strong and why they're going the wrong direction and making bad choices. And here's what he came up with. This is amazing. It's a secular study. It's called the Boy Crisis, William Farrell. 28:13 Dr William Farrell, he's at Stanford University. He said the issue is, he says they don't have a father in their lives. And he said the most powerful thing you can do for a young man is for that young man and he goes gender specific. He says to have a father and a mother in their lives, in a family. He said that's the healthiest thing you can do for a young man. 28:35 So in a sense, what we're seeing, Demario, is even secular culture, general market, is all of a sudden like coming to a revelation of hey, you know, the only way to raise up young men is they need a father figure and in a lot of communities, whether it's Anglo or Latin or whatever, is the coaches man. You know guys who have been willing to coach kids, and especially, I think of youth programs like what you're sponsoring. I think that, to me, if every church in america had a youth sports program, it would change the future of the nation. Yes, it would. It would, hands down, I'm convinced, man. I'm convinced. In fact, we're going to start a thing and and in studying, what you do is going to help us, we're going to start part of christian men's network. Okay, because we're in hundreds of thousands of churches around the world and across the nation, just in the. 29:32 United States. You know, my thinking is, if we could start a program because most guys don't think they can coach, because they don't, you know, know the plays or whatever, yeah, and my thing is, if you'll just love the kids and then recruit somebody who knows how to draw a diagram, if you have to start, just get it going. I mean, there are youth leagues across America. I was talking with Michael Phillips, my friend who pastors downtown Baltimore. He says man, youth leagues are drying up because they can't even get there's nobody to coach. And so I look with what you're doing up because they can't even get there's nobody to coach, yeah, and so I look with what you're doing. 30:12 - Speaker 3 Yeah, so so the the, the the myth around coaching and dealing with youth the biggest thing, especially with youth programs. 30:20 - Speaker 2 they already have coaches. 30:22 - Speaker 3 They already have coaches. If they play sports on on teams at school, they have a coach. If they play travel ball or select ball, they have a coach. If they play travel ball or select ball, they have coaches who can do X and O's Youth program. Coaches need mentors. Yeah, you need to be more of a mentor than you do a coach and you need to be trained up on how to mentor kids, how to identify, mentally and psychologically and emotionally, what that child is dealing with, based on location, based on home situation, based on different dynamics, based on trauma that they've experienced in their life, and then how to identify and how to help them work through those situations. That's what they need and to be a positive example for them. They're going to model what they see. Young boys are not just going to receive taught information. They're going to model what they see. Young boys are not just going to receive taught information. 31:11 They're going to receive taught information, what they see they're going to replicate. And so, if you can surround young boys and young men who are ultimately going to grow up to be the leaders and we work with young boys and young girls and teach them by example and we surround them with mentors. So all the people coming to our program, we train them, we send them to coaches academy and the coaching academy that we send them to is coaching them on how to mentor. 31:43 - Speaker 1 Okay, that's devoteddreamers.org, devoteddream dreamersorg, and this thing's incredible. You've got the seven, seven on seven, football. You've got all these things. But you know, the main thing I see and hear your heart and passion is equipping the next generation of leaders for America. You know most of these kids are. You know they may have a dream of playing NFL, but it probably won't be there. 32:08 But my thing is help the kid towards that dream. Yeah, and somewhere along in that journey he'll find his place. But if you tell him when he's eight years old you'll never make it. Yeah, man, you've just, you've, just you know rung that kid's neck. And the next time, when he's 10 and some kid says, you know, wrung that kid's neck. And the next time when he's 10 and some kid says, you know, hey, let's go play, he's going to say, nah, you know, I'm not going to do that. And he's man, that is a, a prime recruit, you know, for whatever it may be gangs or whatever the issue may be that takes them in the wrong direction. You know, my thing is is get behind that A seven-year-old kid that wants to play in the NBA, go, okay. What do we need to do right now? You need to learn to dribble with both hands. Okay, yeah, you know, let's do this. Start with that. 32:57 - Speaker 3 That's it. I mean you think about it, what you just said. You know, one of the things that our coaches learned at coaches in training is think about it like this, especially when you deal with inner city kids If you have a problem with a kid and you kick that kid off your team, you know what is the next team that he's going to join. He's going to join a team. What's going to be the next team he joins? You know it's going to probably be gang related. It's going to be some type of mischief related, you know. And so, like what you're saying, what we need to do around a kid and that's why we call our program Devoted Dreamers, because help the kid dream. 33:30 You don't know where your dream gonna take you. You don't know it may take you down the road that you see, but it may start you down the road and you may end up somewhere. It's like I give an example. When I got to college I wanted to major, but if I never would have joined, you know, everybody came in with the undeclared majors. I came in with a vision, so I was already started on my way and inside the communication department I ended up finding the role that I had the most passion for. So you think about, like those little cars, you know those old cars that you used to, that the kids play with, and you roll them and it gets the wheels going and it's just the more you roll it you know the wheels faster you let it go and it takes off. 34:11 Yeah get the energy going yeah that's what we need to do with the kids. When we point to these youth, all you're doing is charging them up so that they can, so that you can launch them off into the world. So by the time they leave high school and they go off to college, they're so confident in themselves and they believe so much and they've acquired resources that make them feel whole because they're spiritually full, they're mentally full, they're physically full, so they believe. Whatever they go after, they can achieve and in that, as they start going, they'll find the niche that God is ultimately pulling them to. 34:41 - Speaker 1 They'll find that place, man, but if they keep moving, so what happens is we cross. So you went from being Wayman Tisdale to Tyler Perry. You know, wanted to be in music and all that. And I don't know if you remember Wayman Tisdale. He played NBA and he was a great jazz bass player and and it is a number of guys like that. But and then, of course, tyler Perry. What an amazing story. There he is on that, living in his car for three months, but he wrote down his dream. You know, that vision didn't happen for seven years, Demario, it didn't happen for seven years. And then, finally, his play. What is it? I Can Be Bad All by Myself, uh-huh, yeah, I think that was his first play. 35:27 You know, the chairman of our board is a great close friend, Bishop Dale Brawner, out of Atlanta, and he's actually been in three of those Madea movies. Oh, wow, he was a judge in one of them. You'd recognize him. His dad, nathaniel, and his uncle started a company called Brawner brothers and, uh, it's a hair, hair products and stuff. Your mom probably used them, probably, yeah and um. And then, uh, now let me see the six boys. Three of them ended up being pastors and two of them are still working in that business. Of course dale is, but yeah, so I know some of that stuff. 36:08 But the fact is, is that giving a young man, you know, not just giving him a dream I think we have? Ephesians 2.10 says we're born with something inside of us. From the time we're born there's something that pulls us forward and and the enemy, the snake I just basically call it the snake always lies and the snake's trying to rip you off the whole way. And so you take a mentor that comes along, Demario, and that's why I love what you're doing with Devoted Dreamers and all the projects. And then God's put you. I mean, check this out, you know. Again I come back to the small school, brandon High School, that kind of stuff, and I know guys who've have come out of small places and and hit big and major sports or even in, you know, politics or whatever. And so God, you know, does that or that? That thing happens. But you know the Lord puts you in a position to touch young people. We've got to grab a hold of that. And now the Lord's put you. You're with New Orleans Saints when we're doing this interview. We don't know about the coronavirus stuff, and when the seasons start or whatever Bottom line, there'll be football at some point. But the Lord's put you in an amazing position to speak into the lives of young men and women because of just what culture has done, and then gave you the ability to pull people together financially. Investors, donors, you and your wife have given generously into this to make this happen. I just got to tell you, man, I just see a God thing all over this, wow, and we're with you and we want to support you in any way we can, telling people about devoted dreamers, you know, raising the flag, um, and just just saying hey, because you know football is one thing. Oh, hey, I did, I was, I was reading, you know where, my, my family, we're a sports family. 38:05 I mean, we live in the dallas area, so we were. I moved here here. I was an LA Rams fan as a kid, yeah, and my dad was a 49ers fan and my sister was a Raiders, because we were California people. But I moved to Dallas and we had to be it's state law if you move to Dallas, you've got to be a Cowboys fan. So we had. My kids grew up, you know, basically at the stadium every week for 20 years. We loved, know, basically at the stadium every week for 20 years. We loved all this. But anyway, I'm looking up this stuff and uh, because I'm always interested in little things, but fascinating thing to me, you're playing for new orleans saints now. Who was your first interception against drew breeze? 38:46 - Speaker 3 right. I thought about that when I, when I first uh signed, that I needed to get that ball signed by him. 38:54 - Speaker 1 Because you kept it. Sure, you kept it, you gave it to him, of course, of course, of course. That's great. Have you got it signed yet? 39:04 - Speaker 3 No man, I haven't got enough courage to go and take it over there and sign this. No man, I can't do that too. No, no man. 39:12 - Speaker 1 At some point. 39:13 - Speaker 3 At some point, that's got to happen At some point, it'll be right time. 39:18 - Speaker 1 I'll tell you when it's going to happen, Demario. It'll happen when you got to have done something, or like he comes up and hey, thanks man, thanks for that play, or whatever. Yeah, and you thanks man, thanks for that play, or whatever, yeah. And you go yeah, no problem, man, here, sign this. It's gonna be kind of. It's gonna be kind of on a on the off side, you know, kind of a on a deflect sort of thing. 39:46 Yeah, do it like after he's thrown a Like, after he's thrown a pick, and then you do something to turn it around. You know, like you stopped him on a fourth and one at the five or something, yeah. Say thanks for having me back, thanks for saving my Thanks for picking me up, man, no problem here, sign this. Yeah. 40:08 And so football, you know, I mean in that that sense it's put you on a platform, but I thank god for a number of friends who, like yourself, have done something about it, not just, hey, look at me, I did this thing and you do a cool instagram, uh, but I mean standing for it. You know, if you don't stand for something, you fall for anything. Yeah, it's the old proverb, and from Arkansas straight to the NFL man, and so we pray for you. You got four children now new little baby and it's awesome. 40:39 I just want to tell people again, I want to tell everybody that's listening now devoteddreamersorg, devoteddreamersorg. And we want to have your back tomorrow in this and we'll be praying for you because we know the enemy is going to try to hit you with stuff or accusations. You know the stuff that happens and we just pray for you and your wife Tamla that the Lord covers you and keeps you deep within the grip of his favor in the days ahead. And keeps you deep within the grip of his favor in the days ahead. And if there's anything we can do to help you with this and be a blessing to you, tell more people about it. How many, how many places is devoted dreamers involved in. How many are you guys in ones? Where are you located as far as what you're doing with devoted dreamers? 41:26 - Speaker 3 We're just in Mississippi right now. The vision is ultimately to scale it, but we want to make sure that we get the formula fully right. You know we're doing research to make sure our. I mean visually, it's beautiful when you have kids who come in scoring a 13 on the ACT and in one year they go from a 13 to a 19 on the ACT. Wow, you have kids coming in with, you know, a 1.9 GPA and then by the time they get ready to graduate they're at 3.2, 3.3. 41:57 Wow, looking at kids who are coming from a domestic violence household that just have a heart for Jesus, all of a sudden you know it has to be important to be able to look past their situation and still see God. And it's just like you know what you know my mom. She just needs, she just needs to know the love of the Lord. You know, and so you know, and so you see you're seeing. You're seeing transformations happen all across the board with kids. Kids who in our summer program have never had a desire to go outside and exercise, become leaders on volleyball teams, you know, and stuff like that. So we know that the output is there. Now it's just getting that quantitative output so that we can go to other places and help them. You know, scale out but we want to make sure we get it right. But it's been beautiful, man. It's been amazing just to see holistic change, kids being impacted spiritually, mentally and physically, you know, and it's really a God thing. It is a God thing. 43:02 - Speaker 1 Yeah, but you know, here's the deal. Here's the deal. It's a God thing. You know, hope is alive. Hope, you know hope is alive. Hope's name is Jesus. But God gives us hope. But hope is always delivered by people. And so what you're doing is delivering hope. And it's kind of like a friend of mine had a building, a church he built, and a guy walked in. They're walking around, they're looking at it and the guy says man, it's amazing. It's incredible what God's done here. My pastor, phil, looked at him and said yeah but you should have seen it when God had it by himself. 43:37 In other words, this didn't just happen, this is hard work. And the other thing I love about this is you didn't just put your name on it, you actually show up. Yeah, I'm telling you, man, you know, know, because quarterbacks and whatever there's all these camps and the guy should puts his name on it somebody else is running a business. He shows up for about a half hour and then checks off the the box with, uh, the guys in new york on his uh, walter payton stuff. You know, yeah, yeah, it's like boom, check that thing off. So, but you show up, you're passionate about it. I can hear the change in your, even in the way you talk about it, when you start talking about it, when you go to those places. 44:17 - Speaker 3 when you go and you're dealing with those kids, you're almost like you know where else would you rather be? You know like this is eternal rewards that you're gaining. You know it's like okay, I mean, I love the game of football, don't get me wrong. 44:31 You know, and guys do it. But while I'm on that field, I'm not as collecting as many eternal rewards as I am when I'm pouring into, you know, 16, 17-year-olds who are hanging on by a thread, yeah, and just do a little something and that light bulb goes off for them. And those moments I mean you know there's no place, you'd rather be. Like what else could I be doing? You know, like you know, so it's but the ability to do that. 44:57 - Speaker 1 Okay, daniel gets captured and this is in in, uh, in, uh, jeremiah. And then jeremiah writes a letter to uh the guys jeremiah 29, 11, everybody that God has a plan for you. But the first five or six scriptures of Jeremiah 29 is a letter to the captives, daniel and his guys, and he tells them don't try to escape. He says plant plants and build buildings and get married. And then the word that jumps out at me tomorrow. It says multiply, multiply. And what that speaks to me is of what you've done in your athletics is be excellent where you're planted. Yeah, yeah, you may be in Babylon, but be excellent. Dad, daniel thrives in the middle of Babylon, never leaves there, serves for Kings. By the time he's 80. He's 80 when he gets put in the lion's den. So all this stuff happens to him, but he thrives because he's got his focus, his true north. He stays with it and that's a message for us, man, that you have when you talk about working out man, you don't. 46:01 Bobby Knight said this. He said the will to win doesn't win games. He said everybody has that. He said it's the will to prepare to win. It wins. Win games. He said everybody has that. He said it's the will to prepare to win who wins the game. Yeah, muhammad ali said I don't win a fight in the ring. He said I win it at four in the morning, out in us, out in a road running when nobody's around and there's no lights. 46:23 Yeah, so the fact is, you've been excellent. Uh, tomorrow you've, you've paid the price to be where you are, and that's a message to all of us as men, you know, we want certain things to happen. We want to be, see people's lives change, but we haven't paid the price in the place where we're at, wow and uh, we've actually got to pay the price. So, man, you've done that and so you're excellent in what you do. And then out of that comes the platform to be able to speak into people's lives. Because you know, I mean it's it very easily could have been a Tony Mandarich situation, even though he exonerated himself later and with the Colts. But the fact is is that you know there's things you could have done, but you didn't. 47:05 So I thank God for the chaplain, thank God for your grandmother, thank god for your mom and her courage, thank god your dad did call you. You know what I mean. Like you said, he called you and I thank god that you got four kids who have an awesome dad and an amazing mom, because that's what changes the future of the world. So again, devoted dreamersorg, uh, we're praying for you. I mean, you know, it's uh, here's, here's the deal, here's how we pray when I because I live in, in, uh, fort worth and we're kind of cowboys fans here's the way we prayed tomorrow, just so, you know, dear lord, please bless Demario and everything he does, but let the Cowboys win. So that's it. 47:51 - Speaker 3 I'll take it, man, I'll take it. 47:54 - Speaker 1 Anyway, you know, that's life, man, that's the way it is, and so thank you for everything you do. We pray. Every place you put your feet will be holy ground and everything your hands touch will prosper, and the Lord will keep you and your family deep within the grip of his grace and favor. And the Lord will keep you and your family deep within the grip of his grace and favor. 48:11 - Speaker 2 Wow, Paul, what a great conversation. That was awesome. Yeah, what an amazing guy, man, so amazing. But the thing that jumped out at me was the fact that he plays for the New Orleans. Saints and his first career interception for the New York Jets was it was against Drew Brees. 48:30 - Speaker 1 Yes, oh, that's right. His first pick. Or the New York Jakes Was it was against Drew Brees. Yes, oh, that's right. So we talked about that. Yeah, that was right, that's right. Yeah, that was funny man. He's like yeah, I don't know if I'm going to bring that up. 48:39 - Speaker 2 That's the million-dollar question. 48:41 - Speaker 4 I need to know when does he bring that up? What's? 48:43 - Speaker 1 going on man, especially he's still see. 48:47 - Speaker 2 we were playing basketball just the other day and we were talking about this interview, and the million-dollar question on the court was now that he's defended Drew Brees does he have a? Right to ask. 48:59 - Speaker 1 Yeah, it's funny, man. Yeah, well, you know, man, these are good guys and good men, men of goodwill, they find a way right. Yes, that's part of our whole culture. I mean, Demario, this is a role model. See, this is the kind of guy I would say I want my grandkids to look at. Okay, my grandson, cameron, I go. Cameron, that guy right there, I want you to just watch him. Yeah, okay, be like that. Yeah, I mean, that's why I so much appreciate him, because you know he didn't even have to do an interview with us. No, I mean, frankly, he doesn't have to do anything right. Hang out play football, work out. 49:40 For real. But he uses that platform to speak out for the things of God and to speak out for righteousness and to pull young kids into their dreams. That devoted dreamer thing. 49:50 - Speaker 2 Oh, it's amazing. 49:52 - Speaker 1 And I can't wait. I mean, I'm behind that thing, man. If you want to get more information on that, where do they write us, Chris? 49:58 - Speaker 2 They write us at. You can find all the resources for mentoring at fatherhood at cmn.men. That's cmn.men. 50:07 - Speaker 1 That's M as in men, Men yes. 50:09 - Speaker 2 C-M-N dot men, that's M as in men Men. Yes, c-m-n Capital. 50:11 - Speaker 1 N. Don't go to CNN. No, no, no, you're not going to get the entry there. 50:13 - Speaker 2 You don't want to see that we got the good news, not the bad news. Oh, come on, man. So also you can write to Paul personally at Paul at C-M-N dot men. 50:30 - Speaker 1 That's Paul at cmnmen. Hey, chris Shields, you're doing a great job producing the podcast. We've had some amazing guests and we've got some great ones coming up. A friend of yours and a friend of mine, chris Broussard, is coming up on one of the episodes. What an amazing man. And then Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North Just some great guys. You know what it's inspiring. Inspiring, yes, it is. This thing is the. It's a kind of podcast where you can just plug it in go do your bike ride, jogging, workout, play round ball yeah, shoot some hoops, yes, you know, but do you? 51:00 - Speaker 2 have the big. You have the big thing. Oh yes, the beats headphones. 51:04 - Speaker 4 You got the beats by dre do you really when you shoot, when you do this? 51:09 - Speaker 2 hey, I'm in the zone. My getaway is that basketball court? I don't know anything else after I'm on that court. 51:16 - Speaker 1 Oh, that's great, I love it. 51:18 - Speaker 2 Unless. Paul Cole texts you. 51:19 - Speaker 1 Yeah, unless I text you, yeah, and it comes in on the headset. 51:23 - Speaker 2 You've got texts. 51:26 - Speaker 1 But if you're, but if you're in the zone, you don't want to stop until it breaks. 51:31 - Speaker 2 Yes, yeah, yeah yeah, got to finish the shot. 51:33 - Speaker 1 Yeah, anyway, Chris, you're doing a great job producing and this has been a remarkable start to our Season 3. Yes, and looking forward to the great things that are coming up. Hey, thanks for being a part of this and being with us on the podcast on Brave Men today. You've just experienced Brave Men today.