From Porn Star and Pain to Redemption and Purpose: The Joshua Broome Story

00:00 - Speaker 1 What I had done is I had pushed myself away from my mom, my brother, anyone that I had a relationship with, that they were saying hey, joshua, I love you, but you're better than the way you're living, you're better than me. So I pushed them all away to the point. A whole year I have not heard my name On the day that I was going to take my life. It was my name that saved me A color that saved you. 00:24 - Speaker 2 Hi, this is Paul Lewis Cole and you're listening to the brave men podcast, fired up to have you along. This is going to be a remarkable conversation with a man named Joshua Broome. I saw the perfect metaphor for Joshua's life yesterday. I was in Capitola, california, walking along the ocean, looking at surfers beautiful, sunny, you know, glistening on the waves, all that kind of thing idyllic if you will. And if you pivoted just 90 degrees, you could see the Capitola pier, which two months ago, by 20 foot waves and a king tide, was cut in half. If you know how a pier is built, you know it's got massive creosote lumber. It's got it is put together to withstand anything and yet those 20 foot waves absolutely destroyed it. I think it's a perfect metaphor for Joshua Broome's life because if you look at his past life, it looks like that Capitola pier and if you look at it today, yeah, there's still waves, but the sun is out and Joshua Broome is not only a survivor, let me put it that way, he's a thriver. This is going to be a fantastic conversation and the reason I love what's happened in his life and you can see more about him. And he's been on socials and all that kind of thing. The reason I love is because there were some men who came into his life and a pastor who came into his life, who spoke into his life. And that's what we do at Christian Men's Network we speak into the lives of men so that their future changes from the broken pier to, if you will, surfing the waves. And you know there's still storms. Storms are normal to life and one of the things that we realize as we walk into the journey of being followers of Christ is that storms are normal but that true peace is Jesus, because it may be storms, there may be storms and we define peace as the absence of storms, but in the book of Acts it defines the presence of Jesus as peace in the middle of the storm. So I'm fired up about this. This is actually been a great conversation, had a great time with Joshua. He came into the studio. 02:51 We're going to have him back again and I want you to meet this man who's gone through a remarkable journey great big porn star, all kind of stuff going on fame, wealth, traveling the world and absolutely hollow inside. And he describes all that. Now he's got a ministry, speaks, travels, was just in Congress right after we recorded with him, and so we'll do another one follow up. See what's going on with that, talking about the anti pornography legislation, because there's so much, so many people's lives being destroyed and For tools for ministering to men to be able to, to be able to Disciple men, like what's been happening with Joshua's life. Go to see him in dot men. See him in dot men, krishna's network. See him in dot men and you'll see more of our story of where brave men comes from, because this is a Production of the Christian men's network. And I want to say thank you to all the sponsors, all of our partners, everybody who makes this possible. 03:53 Every single week I fired up. Hey, I want you to meet today. I'm brave man. Here's Joshua broom Talking with Joshua broom, and Joshua, you're in what's called the adult film industry. 04:08 - Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I think, I Mean, I think people, people have started calling it the adult film industry because we've become very uncomfortable saying the word pornography and even saying the word sex. So I think, but yes, it's not really adult though. 04:26 - Speaker 2 Is it right? 04:27 - Speaker 1 is actually really sad that we describe it in that way. Yeah, it's like that, like because the adult film industry in saying, you waste that this is something for adults, but this is not. You know, this is not how God sees sex. This is not how sex is meant to be consumed. It's not meant to be consumed at all. 04:43 - Speaker 2 Yeah, you grew up in South Carolina. Yeah, yeah, went to a, went to a little local church. 04:48 - Speaker 1 Yep, yeah, so I went, I was yeah, well, I was plugged in a church until I was about seven or eight years old. Then my mom got married to someone that you know to to, to be frank, not not a good person. Yeah, and after that, I was never plugged in church. 05:06 - Speaker 2 Fatherhood again. Well, yeah, so come back to that, yeah. 05:09 - Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely hey. My mom had me when she was 16, small town in South Carolina and and you know I was in my grandparents home but there was no. There was no father to be found. My grandfather was there, but you know he's newly retired, fishing every day and but yeah, but no dad in my life. 05:29 - Speaker 2 Yeah. 05:30 - Speaker 1 What was what was unique about me growing up in that situation was the town was so small that I knew who my dad was and I Saw my dad because we were in such close proximity, so I would see this man get out of here that I knew really to be my father, and there were there were times that he you know, I that I don't recall, but my mom said that he had tried to never to reach out or to, you know, to bring me to lunch or something like that, or to have me over. But I think him being him being 16, and then you know me looking back with empathy him being 16. 06:06 The more time passed, the more shame grew, and then it just became so awkward that he didn't know what to do. And then I went from being curious to confused, to frustrated and to mad. 06:19 - Speaker 2 Yeah, absolutely yeah. I can imagine that, you know, cuz here's your dad, who's himself a young guy, going hey, what's up, you know? To his kid and and now, man, that's all. That's a difficult issue. We come back to that over and over, though, don't we? 06:37 - Speaker 1 yeah, absolutely. And it's like there's so many people that you know experienced trauma or have a lack, and they see themselves through that, and then they see the world through that, they create a worldview out of that, yeah, and then you're looking at the world through a broken picture and you feel like you're broken and then you live your life through that broken lens and it causes you to not be a good friend, to struggle to have, you know, success within relationships, because You're really trying to mitigate a lack that you have, because you're trying to make up for it, and especially men you know most men are high achievers. So I thought, well, I need to achieve so that I would receive the affirmation that I didn't receive. Yeah, and it just was a really nasty cycle. 07:19 - Speaker 2 There's a ministry that that I was part of, a fundraising thing a couple weeks ago and Corpus Christi Texas called for her Remarkable Pastor Marlene and a bunch of people that and they're bringing people out of the sexual trafficking yeah situation and victim being victims of that and she told me she said a hundred percent of the girls they rescue to an 86 girls in the last four years, a hundred percent had no father in a home. 07:47 - Speaker 1 Yeah, it's wild because you don't end up in that industry If you grew up with everything you needed. Hmm, and what I mean by need? It's like there's there's levels of fatherlessness. 08:01 Right so like there's some people that, like myself, he wasn't in the home, and then there's the, the father that's not present, there's divorce, there's death, there's so many nuances to it. But yeah, I mean, when you don't have a voice of reason in your life, a man from a biblical Perspective speaking truth into your life, because you need every man. Every person needs both encouragement and healthy criticism. 08:27 - Speaker 2 You need someone to hold you accountable you know, the center of a man is formed in the breath of his father. Yeah, in the same way that God breathed into Adam and held him close. Because, because, when God created everything, he spoke a word right, yeah, but until he, and when he created man, though, he did it with his hands we were made to be intimate, to be close, and then he, he brought Adam close and breathed in him. And now that same thing's been proven I think it was University of Pennsylvania and that's been proven in other research, which means it's provable scientifically, which is when a child, boy or girl, is held close to their father yeah, as they're talking about his babies, by the way, you've got a bunch of yeah. 09:08 - Speaker 1 Another one coming. 09:09 - Speaker 2 Yeah, it's fantastic. And when, when that child is held close to their father, there is a center, if you will, a character zone, that that core that's formed in them, yeah, but if you don't have that, you're always looking for it. Yeah, I think that that's got to be some of the issues with because what a father gives you is identity affirmation Right, absolutely, now you're looking for that. Yeah, they say you, you went to, you went to college, yeah, the theatrical arts, yeah, right, so you're a drama major. Yeah, you're a drama guy. Yeah, all right, so you do that. And then you head out to LA to To be famous in movies. 09:50 - Speaker 1 Yeah, it's, you know I move out there. I think I was almost I was about the turn 22 when I moved out there and Actually I was 20 yeah, I was 21 when I moved out there and I spent about a year, you know, doing the things that I went out there to do. You know I I was, you know, getting a few roles here in there. I was doing more modeling than I was acting. 10:10 - Speaker 2 Like print modeling or a lot, a lot of like run a lot of runway runway stuff a lot of runway stuff and some some commercial stuff, but mostly runway. 10:18 - Speaker 1 But I was almost frustrating because, like, modeling came easy but that's not the thing that I wanted to do. 10:24 - Speaker 2 You know I'm a serious actor. 10:25 - Speaker 3 Yeah, that's like wait a minute. 10:27 - Speaker 2 What was that? What was that movie? What was a movie where the guy was a tomato and it was Bryce my note, bryce remember that movie and it was a Dustin Hoffman. Yeah and it was worry. We ended up dressing up as a woman and he took care of a bunch of kids because he needed a job and so. And so he comes back and the only job his agent got him was being a tomato in a in a commercial. 10:56 Oh gosh, and so the agent's getting mad at him and it's it's the director of the movie actually was did a cameo on it. And the guy says Dustin Hoffman says Says, oh. The director says how'd you get kicked out of a commercial? You're a tomato, he said. But I wanted to know what kind of tomato I was. Right, right, huh, tutsi, there you go, yeah, so I wanted to know what kind of tomato I was. Am I beef steak? And my this thing goes through this whole thing. It goes. It doesn't matter. You're in and it's addressing a big tomato, that's outfit, because he was a serious actor. And so here you are wanting to be a serious actor, because that's your dream, yeah, and it's and it's sort of working, not working, yeah, I mean it was going fine. 11:42 - Speaker 1 I mean, I wait in tables, yeah. So I mean, like like most people, it's like you know what you got a script yeah. 11:48 You got to you got to mitigate your expenses while you're living the dream. For that I didn't live. I mean, I had a history of like living far beyond my means. So it's like I didn't choose to live in in Burbank or anything like that. I lived in the middle West Hollywood, across from the Grove, you know, and so I needed a job to kind of make ends meet, and so it worked in one of those places where, you know, they didn't ask for a resume, they asked for a headshot, right, you know, or real, or whatever you know. And so I was working there and everyone that worked there was in the industry, and it was a great place to meet people. He was in the on the middle, you know, in the middle of the suns, on Sunset Boulevard, in the middle of West Hollywood. And so I'm working there and then three girls walk in one day and they say hey, you know, are you, are you interested in acting? Would you bet you? Would you ever consider acting? 12:38 - Speaker 2 And now this is in your documentary and in the girls walk in. They don't look like college students, no, they are dressed very permission. They're provocatively, I think is the word that was in your documentary. 12:51 - Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. 12:52 - Speaker 2 Yeah, so they walk in, obviously eye candy. You're going like whoa, who are these people? Right, you know it's. It's fascinating whether you're, you're at the. What was the? What was the coffee shop for years at the holiday in there on on Hollywood Freeway was the sands, and then you had that. You had all these little places where industry people would meet Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles oh, yeah, right. 13:14 - Speaker 1 Yeah, which is on Gower? I think yeah, there's one on Gower and there's one on Crenshaw. 13:18 - Speaker 2 Yeah, so you got all these little places and then, and then you're there. 13:22 - Speaker 1 Yeah. 13:23 - Speaker 2 And then come some girls that look like OK, looks like they've got it together. Yeah, got some money to dress provocatively like they got their thing going on, yeah, and they hit on you. 13:33 - Speaker 1 Yeah, and I and they were inviting me into their world, but it was. It was not the world that I thought they were going to invite me into. 13:40 You know, they asked me if I was interested in acting and I said yes, and they were like, hey, let me clarify. We're talking about pornography and kind of. You know, almost in my mind, you know, the, the e-brake went up, yeah, and for me, I'd been, I'd been exposed to pornography when I was 13. Ok, I'd seen it before. It wasn't necessarily something I struggled with, but it most certainly, you know, created the way in which I saw women, the way in which I saw sex. 14:09 - Speaker 2 OK, so that framed your world? Sure, because I, because you didn't have a dad, I didn't have a model. 14:14 - Speaker 1 Yeah, outside of my basketball coach, you know, I didn't have any man speaking into my life in any way. So you know, as far as like conversations around sex or so, I had no conversations around sex and I didn't see a demonstration of a husband and a wife. That was ever in a healthy way. 14:35 So the only thing that I saw was my mom and this, this guy that she was married to for a few years, drug addict. He was abusive to her. So all I saw was the worst of the worst and nothing at all. 14:47 - Speaker 2 So when you saw porn, what you saw was OK, at least these people are getting along. 14:52 - Speaker 1 At least, at least they're not hurting each other. 14:54 - Speaker 2 Yeah, OK. So it looked like, OK, there's something. So now these girls invite you. Hey, come talk to these people and you get recruited into pornography. 15:05 - Speaker 1 Yeah, it was so interesting because, you know, like we were talking about earlier, people call it the adult film industry because it doesn't sound as abrasive In language. Often, you know, it tears down boundaries, sometimes in a good way, but sometimes in a bad way, because they used hey, we would love for you to meet our agent. And because there was an agent it wasn't just a guy, it was a I want you to meet our agent. So agent was something else familiar with. 15:34 - Speaker 3 So I go to. 15:35 - Speaker 1 I go to his office to meet with the agent and they were models that were represented by the agent. 15:42 - Speaker 2 So it sounds like part of what would be a normal movie industry sort of situation. Yeah, so I got an agent. 15:50 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so I get there and I go to, I go and I meet with the guy and you know, you know there's a receptionist and I'm wait and I meet with this person and you know he's wearing a three piece suit and he's got like a big business. 16:02 Like I'll never forget. He had this like gigantic double Windsor tie and. But he asked me three questions. That was so, so interesting to reflect on. He asked me. He asked me how did I grow up, what was I doing in LA and what did I hope to accomplish? And I said, well, you know, I grew up pretty much just me and my mom and I want to do acting and modeling and I guess I want to be famous. And you hear, well, I come from a broken home. Yep. And also, when someone says that their objective is to be famous, if you take a step back, that's not even a thing. What I'm, what you hear and what someone's saying is I want to be known, I want to be seen, I want to feel loved, I want something that I'm not currently receiving. So the desire to be famous, it comes from, you know, a really a broken identity. There's, there's no foundation to really sit on. So that's what I was saying. I was like I want something to fix my heart and I believe money, fame, notoriety will fix that. 17:11 - Speaker 2 So you got this agent and the agent runs you through these questions, yeah, which really tells him, frames him OK. 17:19 - Speaker 1 I got this guy. Yeah, it was. It was fantastic ammunition for someone that wanted to manipulate you. 17:25 - Speaker 2 Yeah, wow, and then just pulled you right in. So, so they give you an assignment. Is that how it works? They give you a show up next Tuesday or something. 17:34 - Speaker 1 Well, pretty much it's like oh, step one they send you to, so there's a lab that everyone that's in that industry uses. So I mean, this is probably the most legitimate thing that they do. But you know you, they send you to a lab. You do a full panel STD and AIDS testing, and because because, because they're pulling data from the same place. 17:54 It's more reliable. So so that's good that they do that. But you go there because you, to work, like your work permit is essentially that, like, you need a full panel. You got to show up with that, yeah, and it has to be current, so it can't be older than 21 days, wow. So so I go and get that, he sends me to go get that, and he's like you know, I'll have you do a movie, mm, hmm, and then we'll go from there. 18:23 And I knew it was a bad idea. But at the same time it was like, well, I've lived this, you know promiscuous lifestyle anyway. And I didn't do it because I'm like, oh, I needed the money, because it was like 500 bucks, you know, I was making that in a night waiting tables, yeah. So I did it because there was an opportunity for me to, you know, receive affirmation and I was already living that way anyway. And in my head it's like, ok, someone's going to pay me to do something I'm already doing. And then, honestly, I naively believed how big of a deal could it be? How, like, I really believe it wouldn't have any impact on me. So I go and do it and it was. It was nothing like I thought it would be, and it was so much worse than I ever could have imagined it being. 19:16 - Speaker 2 Yeah, you described. You described this in an interview where you said you didn't even look at the person. It was a girl with a girl, yeah, and you had sex with her and you didn't even look. You guys didn't even have. There wasn't like a relationship Well, not at all. 19:29 - Speaker 1 I mean, well, the only thing that knew about her is like when you get there, you sign paperwork and you hold that test that I just said. So you look at the test and you look at the copies of their ID and you make sure the name of the test matches the name on the ID and you sign that. You saw it. And then they they're taking pictures of her prior to I get to set and a PA comes up to me is like hey, here's a Viagra. If you, if you want to use it, use it. If you don't, you don't, it's in your hand, it's yours. 19:56 If you've never used it before, I'd buy it in half. And then I go in the bathroom and have this like pep talk with myself and it's like and it's, it's crazy, because I think this is important for someone to hear I was in a place where I had made a decision that put me in a situation and I believe the lie. And if you believe a lie, if you believe a lie to be true, it's true to you. Yeah, frames are world and I believed that I'd gone too far to go back. 20:25 - Speaker 2 Okay, all right. Well, there, now we hit the thing. 20:28 - Speaker 1 Yeah, because I believed, because I said yes, because I took the test, because I signed the paperwork, because and it was almost like for me to leave, like from regarding a manipulation standpoint they picked me up in a town car and took me to set at the studio. So for me to leave that studio I would have had to call Well, that, or I would have had. You know, it would have been the you know like hey, you know, I went. It's like if I went to this sleepover and I got scared and I wanted to come home, I'm going to have to call and ask the person that took me there to get picked up. So I had to call. I would have had to call the agent and say, hey, I didn't do what I told you I was going to do, and you know I changed my mind. I want to come back. 21:14 - Speaker 2 So there's this manipulative peer pressure. The enemy starts working on your head. Sure, Do you think that that's how a lot of those people end up staying in it Like thousand? 21:26 - Speaker 1 percent, yeah, because, well, the reason that I stayed in, so I stayed in that after I did that one it had, you know, it was the catalyst for everything that I had done up to that point being destroyed, and what I mean by that. So I did that movie. It went some like semi viral and my agent, my legitimate agent, found out about it. It's like, hey, we cannot represent you with your, your likeness, attached to this. We can't be associated with someone that is doing photography. 21:56 - Speaker 2 You're modeling stuff, yeah, so you're done. And then my mom finds out living in a living in a small yeah. 22:02 - Speaker 1 Well, like living in a small town, somebody saw it, yeah, someone saw it. And then they someone told my uncle and my uncle told my mom. My mom calls me. She says, hey, I heard you were doing these X rated movies. Yeah, and humiliated, yeah. So now I'm in the place again where okay, I've you know, I'm in this crossroads where I've done this thing and I believe the only thing that I can do is continue to do it, which is not true, like I really believed in my heart of hearts that well, because I did this, I've disqualified myself from what I want to do and the only thing I can do is compromise. But always and forever, the easiest thing will always be able, the easiest thing will always be to continue to compromise. 22:49 - Speaker 2 I think that's one of the biggest issues Joshua with with men today is we feel disqualified, we've done something, something's happened to us, somebody did something to us, and always come back to Jonah, jonah. There couldn't have been somebody more disqualified than the prophet Jonah. Sure, he's that guy in the Old Testament. If somebody's listening, you don't remember who he is. He got swallowed by a fish, right, runs from God. He hides from God. But the first thing he did was God said I need you to go do this thing Now. It's his job. Right, he's got a job. 23:22 He's a prophet that goes, tells people what God says. God says I need to go to this place, nine of a first. First of all, it's non Jewish, which is at the time, he's only speaking to Jewish people. So here's this area, a bunch of bad guys in the end of a hundred and fifty thousand pirates. And God tells Jonah I need to go, go tell those guys. If they repent, I'll spare their city. And Jonah says to God now, I think it's a bad idea. Like, I don't know, I think you've lost it. 23:55 - Speaker 3 Yeah. 23:55 - Speaker 2 So imagine this conversation. So if anybody would ever have been disqualified, it's Jonah Sure. And yet when he became suicidal, so on this boat he's in a storm, becomes suicidal, he said hey, just throw me overboard. Yeah, I'm in my life. What does God do? He sends a fish to swallow him. Why, not out of judgment, but out of God's mercy. Yeah, so his mercy saved his life. And then it says three days later he's in the fish and the fish vomits him up on the short. Nenba, mercy saved his life, grace put him back into his destiny. 24:29 - Speaker 1 Man, I never. I'm just thinking like how much that is true in my own life. 24:35 - Speaker 2 Wow, yeah, so I yeah, you got swallowed by will. 24:39 - Speaker 1 Yeah. 24:40 - Speaker 2 Yeah, Like you were in the midst of the storm man. 24:42 - Speaker 1 Wow, and it was what what? What I mean specifically is you know, so I do that, I do that one film, and then I believe the lie that, well, there's nothing else I can do. And then I stay in that industry for six years, did over a thousand movies, you know. But again, okay, I'm doing something that I don't want to do, but I'm going to be the best at it because I need to fill that affirmation yeah, hey, I'm the. 25:07 - Speaker 2 I'm the best. I'm not if you're going to do it, I'm just going to be the best. 25:10 - Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean I, I and but, but that quality, redeemed for the glory of God, is a great thing. You know, of course I'm going to do things with, because absolutely, excellence honors God you know, great work, ethic honors God. 25:22 So I believed okay, well, I'm going to become the best. And believing that I would receive something that I needed, that I didn't have, but if I earned it I would get it. And I made the money, you know, became famous, did all the things, and I was actually nominated for performer of the year four years in a row, and then I won it in 2012. And when I won it, it was the worst day of my life, because I felt good for about 15 minutes until reality came crashing down. It's like, well, guess what? You have everything that you thought would make you happy, yet you sit here miserable, and then the depression it deepened, the anxiety was amplified and I found myself making a very detailed plan to take my life. 26:04 - Speaker 2 Wow, I, I you said in an interview I, I took a shower. I took showers after every day. Yeah, I never could feel clean. 26:13 - Speaker 1 Yeah, man, it was. There's this scene in gosh, what's the mood? Redeeming love. There's this scene in redeeming love where she's she's gone back to prostitution and then she just hates herself for it and she's in this like spring and she has rocks and she's like scrubbing her skin to the point where she's bleeding. Wow, and gosh, man, I I wept when I saw that, because there were many a times where no much, no matter how much soap I put on my body, no matter how hard I hard I scrubbed, I still felt disgusting and I felt like it was literal filth on me and I felt like other people could see it and I just wanted it off of me. 26:57 - Speaker 2 So this industry and I want to get back into the part where you meet hope, and when I say meet hope, it's actually a person, yeah. So you well, hope is a person who hopes Jesus and then hope your wife and I mean. It's an amazing story of redemption. But let me, let me just let's open up some things right here for some, some guys who have problems with with pornography or get into it. You know what we know as pornography because of the internet, because of the. It's available on somebody's phone, it's pervasive, it's in every culture of the world. Yeah, right. 27:32 - Speaker 1 I mean a hundred billion dollar. Industry makes a hundred billion. Yeah, it makes more money than the NFL, the NBA and Major League Baseball all combined. It's it's. 33% of the data transferred on the internet on a daily basis is pornography. 27:47 - Speaker 2 So a lot of people know this right that are in those businesses and they do it because it makes money. 27:52 - Speaker 1 Sure, I mean, porn hub was just. You know someone, I was actually with this young lady, her name's Arden, and she went on this you know this, this, this date he assumed it was a date, but it was this meeting where he verbally said we know that there is things that should, should not be on our site and we're not proactively looking to take them down. You know, there's there's rape. There's, you know, child pornography there's, there's people that have not given proper consent for things to be on there and those things are on there and if they get legal requests to take them down, they do, but they're not proactively looking for them because they're making. It's making money billions, little b with a b, they're making billions of dollars. So he said, no, we're, we're not concerned with that. We are aware that it happens, but we're not proactively looking for it. So a very evil industry that's preying on vulnerable people. But yeah, I mean it's, it's everywhere. 28:54 - Speaker 2 And a lot of people working in it that are just it's their normal working job. 28:59 - Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean I would say that the industry in itself it's a, it's relatively small, but the expansion of only fans and all of this other stuff that is the byproduct of a bit growing from that nucleus, is it's becoming pretty astronomical. 29:18 - Speaker 2 And so now you know, I know there's there's all kinds of pornography, but in particular when we're talking about young ladies that get involved in this culture. You know, what I've read is it is it just? Basically, they're constantly recruiting? Sure, well, I mean because they're just blowing people through. 29:37 - Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, the girls have a very short shelf life, like you'll. Like, someone that makes it to 30 is you know that that's not, that's not common. So for me, every single girl that I met, they were either being you know, they were sexually assaulted or abused as a kid, they were being trafficked and then they started doing porn and that was a better option where they had someone like a pimp or whatever, and they were putting them in very dangerous situations often where they were beaten and all these things. So pornography is not something they wanted to do, but since they got them out of a worse thing, right, oh my God. And then in, I would say, probably 75% of the people. So I was in the industry. Like you know, we're going back to 2006. So on Craigslist, there would be, you know, some legitimate there would be. Hey, this is a photo shoot. A photographer is doing a photo shoot for a company, they've outsourced them or whatever, and there's a. You're thinking it's a legitimate photo shoot. It's a trap. 30:44 Yeah, they show up and then they ask them to take off this, take off this, take off this. And then, when the girl says, hey, I'm uncomfortable, I don't want to take off any more clothes, they said well, you signed a release prior to me starting to take these pictures. I'm gonna use them no matter what, and if you want to get paid, you're gonna continue with what I want you to do. 31:09 - Speaker 3 And nine times out of 10?. 31:10 - Speaker 1 Yeah, nine times out of 10, they say okay, because number one they're scared and number two they're desperate. So and then also there's a level of shame where it's like, if you say, hey, I'm gonna, it doesn't matter what you do, you've already did it, because I mean that's the lie, because you've already done. This is who you are, you are your behavior, you are your mistake, you are your trauma, and if you see yourself in that way, then of course those things are gonna dictate what you do. 31:37 - Speaker 2 You know. So basically, everybody in this industry is a victim, Sure yeah, I mean you sit down. 31:44 - Speaker 1 I mean to this day, sit down with anyone in that industry, and I'm talking specifically the top three to five percenters, the people at the top of the industry. They're making high six figures, they're saying they love their job. Yet you say, hey, if you could do anything, what would you do? Zero percent of people are gonna say I want to continue doing porn. No, there's a passion that's in you, that's in your DNA, that you can't explain. That would give you the most joy if you were doing that thing. That is from God. There's gifts and talents and abilities and plans and purpose for your life that you desire to carry out. Yet pain, trauma, sin, it causes you to distort that vision for your life and you believe well, I'm disqualified from that. No one would ever invite me into that. There's no way that I could ever pursue that. So you have to say I love my job, because the dream that you have for yourself is dead. 32:44 - Speaker 2 Yeah, and you've gotta maintain some sort of sense of self-worth. 32:48 - Speaker 1 Sure, because I have to say I love my job, because if I don't, what am I gonna do? I hate what I do, but I'm just stuck being a prostitute. 32:55 - Speaker 2 Yeah, because that's really what it is, and so now everybody's a victim. It's not real. So when people are watching things, well, yeah, I mean you're. 33:07 - Speaker 1 So a man and a girl are in a room, but the guy is taking erectile dysfunction medication. The girl is using some kind of numbing lubrication. The director is telling them what to do. They're being paid to do it. 33:19 - Speaker 2 There's a whole crew of people there, yeah there's a crew of people there. 33:22 - Speaker 1 There's multiple shots. 33:23 - Speaker 2 There's edits there's cuts. 33:26 - Speaker 1 There's girls that are stopping saying this is uncomfortable. I don't wanna do this. 33:30 - Speaker 2 Then there's lunch call. Yeah, and literally the crew is there. 33:34 - Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, there's literally a full crew of people. So you get exposed to a degree. Obviously you're naked, but you're exposed doing something that's meant to be an act of intimacy between yeah, between a man and his wife. 33:50 - Speaker 2 And it's. You know, yeah, it's what my friend, Jim Garlow, dr Jim Garlow, said years ago. I remember when he was my pastor and he said he was talking to all the men at the church and he said you've gotta remember one thing this is somebody's daughter, somebody's little girl, somebody prayed over this girl, somebody wanted the right thing to happen and then maybe life fell apart and like we talked about so many, well, basically what Marlene said was, out of the 86 women they rescued, 100% didn't have a father at the home. So when we do what we do with Christian Men's Network, when we talk about raising up fathers, we're talking about rescuing people from this kind of lifestyle. And let me mention this Joshua Broome talking with Joshua Broome, that's with an E on the end of the broom Joshua Broome, o-o-m-e, dot M-E, right. 34:49 Joshua Broome, m-e, dot M-E. And that's your website. You've got a podcast, counterfeit Culture, and I mean there's probably people who want you to come and speak. So that's your contact info is on there. There's also help with porn addiction. Tell me about that real quick and then we'll get back into the testimony. 35:09 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so that is something I did a few years ago. That's still on my website. So I partnered with a few other people, and from a men's perspective and from a women's perspective, theologically, this is what it looks like to identify what porn is. Why is it bad for you? What is it going to cost you to be free from? 35:27 - Speaker 3 it, you know so it's what is true. 35:29 - Speaker 1 And then what does repentance look like? And then the practicality of bringing accountability into your life, removing triggers from your life, taking inventory of your life and removing anything that could cause you to stumble back into the thing that you're running from. You know that started with that. 35:45 - Speaker 3 Roman Sevens like why is it so difficult to do? 35:48 - Speaker 1 the things that I want to do, and why do I find myself wanting to do the things that I? 35:52 - Speaker 2 ought not to do. Yeah, that's the apostle Paul and he said the things I want to do, I don't do. The things I don't want to do, I do. You know, it's sort of like we do with temptation in our lives, you know, and Jesus was tempted and the thing we have to remember as men is that temptation is not sin, it's what you do with it. We're all tempted. You know, I like to mention to guys before you became a follower of Christ, you really never dealt with temptation. It was always called opportunity. Sure, that's true, so true. So now I'm dealing with temptation, but the fact is is that I think that you said something right there it's so good which is removing triggers, trigger points, right Like, don't put yourself in the position. 36:33 - Speaker 1 Well, yeah, if there's something on the floor that I continue to trip over, I'm going to continue to trip over it, unless I move the thing that I'm tripping over. Yeah, I mean, it's practical. So what does that look like in your life? Maybe it's not like for a season. Maybe social media is not a healthy place for you to be. Maybe for a season. I need to have a flip phone. 36:54 - Speaker 2 Maybe for a season, you know, Bring back the flip phone man. 36:57 - Speaker 1 Because what I need to do it's like I got really good at sinning, so I need to be really aggressive in my pursuit of purity. 37:04 - Speaker 2 Yeah, wow, that's really good right there. I told one guy once. I said, you know, because he was having a problem with pornography, he's getting late at night. I said put your computer in the kitchen. 37:15 - Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean the most like practical thing that I did. I stopped bringing my phone or computer into my bedroom or my bathroom. 37:25 - Speaker 2 Wow, simple as that. So smart man. So it's little things like that. Sure that when you had that moment you also mentioned. I want to get back into the story. But why is porn bad? There's this big discussion with Dennis Prager and all these guys where they started talking about. 37:44 - Speaker 1 Yeah, he started backpiling pretty quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, but I would just say for me, when you know, I've been just absolutely blessed for over the last three years. I probably spoke at about 80 different churches and I always begin like this If you're in this room and you're a follower of Jesus, romans 8-1 is true, like there's no condemnation with those who are in Christ Jesus, so shame and guilt have no place here, and if you're feeling ashamed and guilty, those are tools of the enemy that keep you stuck where you are Wow. But if you are a follower of Jesus, there is conviction that comes from the Lord, yeah, and it's an opportunity to seek restoration. 38:28 It's an opportunity to seek that freedom because you do not have to stay stuck where you are. But it has to start with you acknowledging what I'm doing is not good for me. And then I would say is each and every person worthy of human dignity? I've never heard anyone say no, Is each and every person deserving of human dignity. So, if that's true, when you watch porn, you're looking at a person and you're using them like a product, and we're supposed to use things and love people. 39:00 - Speaker 2 And you're actually watching somebody be robbed of their human dignity. Sure, and no matter what it is. 39:05 - Speaker 1 And what you don't know. Here's the reality, what you don't know. Did that person want to be there? Wow, is there a pimp in the corner forcing that girl to be there? Yeah, no question. Was that an actual rape? Do you don't even know what you're watching? 39:17 - Speaker 3 You don't know the person. Oh my God. You don't know if there was consent. 39:20 - Speaker 1 You don't know if there was a gun in the corner in a camera. They are capturing something that they didn't know they were being filmed. You don't know the reality of that and what's true is well, like Josh, you're going too far. Well, there was about 8,000 films of what I just described taken down off a porn hub in a month. Really, that's when MasterCard, visa AMX they stopped allowing credit card transactions Because so $100 billion industry pornography fueled by viewership. It's monetized like YouTube, so the way it makes money is people watch it and then when people watch it, there's ads that can be ran. Wow, so they you know MasterCard, visa AMX they pulled access to those ads because there was found child pornography, rape, all these things that were there, and they weren't doing anything about it. 40:18 - Speaker 2 Wow, well, I'm so glad that there are people who are really involved in that kind of thing. You know, for me, pornography for a lot of men is no different than it just becomes a religion, sure, in which the act of masturbation is an act of worship. Yeah, and so what happens in a man's life is that when he gets caught up in that, it becomes the center of his life. And I've just talked to too many men who, dude, really, you actually went at your lunchtime, went somewhere in order to watch some porn, because you just had to have that fix. 40:51 - Speaker 1 Yeah, and, at the end of the day, there's something that happened, or something you didn't have, that led you to consume that, believing that it was going to fill that gap. 41:04 - Speaker 2 Yeah, now let's get back on this and I'll get back in your story. For me, porn, what porn does is cause people not to think straight. Sure, it fogs the mind. Yeah, and now you've lost your ability to make proper decisions. Sure, right, yeah. So usually what happens to the guy? I'll tell me he says, yeah, I just never expected to be here. Sure. 41:29 - Speaker 1 Well, of course not. Well, that's the thing about it. 41:31 - Speaker 2 Because you just kind of slid into it. 41:32 - Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that's the way that compromise works, right. Compromise always leads to further compromise. Come on, because if you like, the enemy wants you to believe you're never going to go past how far you just went. 41:44 - Speaker 2 That's the guy that told me Josh, with the one guy told me, because I said how you doing on that thing, he said I'm doing pretty good. So he said I said that's awesome. He says yeah, I'm only going to the really safe porn sites. You go, dude. What, what, right, what did you just say? We just delude ourselves. We are master negotiators with our own mind, sure, and we'll tell ourselves nah, I said OK, I'm OK with this, but the lie, that's a lie, and it'll just drop us right off the end of the world. Yeah, yeah. 42:16 - Speaker 1 I mean, and that's just kind of like where I got to Like in my own story. It's like, ok, I believed with 100%, like this was what was true to me. The thing that I wanted to be most was a father. 42:30 The thing that I wanted to do the thing that I wanted to become most was respected. No, there's no way that I'm ever going to marry someone that where I can be a husband Like sure I could find a girl to marry me, but there's no way that I could find someone where I could be a husband that had values, that treated her with respect. And then I was like gosh, I'll never be a father. Like sure I can get someone pregnant, but I'll never. 42:54 - Speaker 2 I don't have the capacity to a father. Yeah, so there's self-talk. The enemy's just hitting you with this self-talk. It's just negative, negative, yeah. 43:01 - Speaker 1 And it's like the thing that I'm most passionate about is using creativity to impact people in a positive way. So it's like I'll never be able to do these things because no one's going to take me seriously. So everything I disqualified myself from because of the behavior that I had. I didn't see a life worth living. So I made a plan to take my life and on the day that I was going to take my life, often people will do this where you'll make a deal where, if this happens, you won't do it, or, if this happens, you will. 43:28 Yeah, and for me. I had one last check and I was like I'm going to deposit it in the bank and normally I would do Dropbox or ATM, because on the memo of the check the director would always write something grotesque Like what did you're being compensated for? And I never cared because I would just go Dropbox ATM. This time on purpose. I wanted to go to a teller, slide it across the counter and have her look at me and look disgusted or say something, or at least some kind of snarky smirk, and that was going to be the thing that justified what I was going to do. And I walk into the bank, I slide the check across the counter and I wait and instead she looks me in the eye and says Joshua, are you OK? Oh my gosh, joshua, is there something I can do for you? And what she didn't know is I hadn't heard my name in over a year, because in that industry you go by a pseudonym. 44:24 - Speaker 2 OK, ok, that in itself that stage name. It's not even you Right, so everything's fake. 44:29 - Speaker 1 Yeah. So that in itself should point to shame. If you want to be famous for doing that thing, why would you not use your own name? You don't? So for me, the beauty of accountability is that if you come to me and say, hey, I heard you speak into your wife in a way that doesn't line up with who you are, man, what's going on? Like, are you like? What are you struggling with? Like, are you tired? Like what's going on? Like that doesn't line up with who I know you to be. 44:52 And I've got two different ways I could respond, because I mean, thank you for saying that. You're right, I need to go apologize to her and really like figure out what's going on. I would love to spend some time Like can we meet for coffee tomorrow? Or I could say, hey, man, mind your business. And then I'd dissist myself from the relationship. What I had done is I had pushed myself away from my mom, my brother, anyone that I had a relationship, that they were saying, hey, joshua, I love you, but you're better than the way you're living. You're better than that. So I pushed them all away to the point. A whole year I have not heard my name On the day that I was going to take my life. It was my name that saved me A color that saved you. 45:31 So that interaction happens. I go and I call my mom. We have this snot filled conversation and I quit the industry that day I go back to. 45:39 North Carolina. And then I start working in a gym, but the gym was actually the fish. Because I start working in the gym, I start. You know, the time that I spent working on communication was doing me a service, like in that industry. I started loving, you know, being able to help someone get somewhere they didn't believe they could go and you know, so I started getting your heart back. 46:02 - Speaker 2 Right. 46:04 - Speaker 1 But same thing though I'm going to become the most accredited, the best trainer, make the most money. 46:09 - Speaker 3 Same. Thing. 46:10 - Speaker 1 And then I did that for two years but I was suffering in silence On the. Aesthetically I looked like everything was fine. When I laid my head down the pillow I was hurting just the same. And then, two years into this, I meet this girl. I asked her on a date. She says no, we meet. She agrees to a run, we go to meet for this run. 46:29 And the run never made its way to a run. It stayed a walk and before she got there I just felt like man, I'm just so tired of hiding and lying. I'm just gonna tell her and do her the favor of not being hurt by someone like me. And I'm like hey, let me give you a five minute monologue for how bad of a person I am. And I told her everything and at the end of that she said are you doing those things currently? And I said no. She's like well, a person's not defined by the worst thing they've ever done, oh, and a person's not defined by the greatest thing they'll ever do. God defines who you are. There's a creed, he's the creator of all things and he gets the final say do you know him? And I was like sure, sure, I do, because I believed my. I would have even said I was a Christian, but it was contingent of me acknowledging that God created all things, including me, and that's where I was. 47:19 - Speaker 2 Yeah, it was performance based Sure. 47:21 - Speaker 1 Yeah, and then she dug a little deeper what's your relationship with Jesus, like when do you attend church? 47:25 - Speaker 2 And I was just like okay, and that's when you met hope. 47:29 - Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So I meet her and then, you know, she invites me to church and we go to church and I hear this, you know, I hear this message out of Second Samuel talking about this dynamic between Jonathan and David. And you know, previously when a king died, the previous kingdom was completely wiped out. But David was different. He was hey, is there anyone left? And they go and find my phabosheth, and that he brings them into his kingdom, restores his land. But the unique thing is he took that and he tied it into hey. 47:56 Romans 3.23 says that we've all sinned and fall short of the glory of God and the death that my phabosheth was expecting, because he knew history, guess what Romans 6.23 says? The wages of sin is death. We're all guilty and we're all deserving of death. But there's good news. And he shared the gospel. 48:11 And I was wrestling with it because I'm like, hey, everything that he said I just know in my bones. It's true, but my own father didn't want me. Why would God in flesh die for me? And then he continues. He talks about Hebrews 12. It's like man, jesus, with joy set before him. He endured the cross. So, yes, it was obedience to the father, but it was also love for me. So the father that I so desperately desired. I realized I had he loved me and yeah, so, like on that day, I fell to my face and the Holy Spirit does what the Holy Spirit, only the Holy Spirit can do, and I surrendered my life to Jesus and I stood up, a new man, and the shame and the guilt and the belief that I was nobody was gone, because the one who matters most, the king of all kings, he died for me. And yeah, man, so like that that was a day A new identity in Jesus. 49:10 Christ, yeah. And then it's so funny. So I married that girl that I wanted to walk with. That's my wife. Her name is Hope, the church is Hope Community Church, and that's where I found Hope in the person of Jesus Christ. So we have. 49:22 - Speaker 2 What's the pastor's? 49:23 - Speaker 1 name Mike Lee yeah, mike Lee. And yeah, so we. Our nonprofit is called Finding Hope. Finding Hope, it's awesome. 49:31 - Speaker 2 Talking with Joshua Broome. It's been great having you on Brave Men. That's a Joshua Broome O-O-M-E dot. M-e is your website. Joshua Broome dot M-E. And in the Conquer series, if you're struggling with pornography right now and dealing with the addiction or you go wow, I'm really not addicted, but I just kind of watch it occasionally then find help. The Conquer series Jeremy Wiles, our great friend, produced that. James Kraft, who has a ministry you can find that online. Blaine Bartell same thing. Pure Desires another great ministry. My friend, josh Spurlock, with your counselorcom. There's a number of different places. You talk to your pastor. Most pastors now in this day and age have some sort of reference point or place that you can get a resource, and you've got resources on your website. 50:27 - Speaker 1 Yeah, I would say, the thing that I've done most recently, that I'm most passionate about. So John Bavir is a mentor of mine and one of his closest friends. One of my closest friends is his oldest son, addison. So John Bavir has an app called Messenger X. 50:42 - Speaker 2 That's right, and on that app, A whole book on it. Kryptonite. 50:45 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so, yeah. So Killing Kryptonite was one of the first books that I read, but so, on that app, messenger X, there's a six-part series that Addison and I do a teaching on, and it's called Triumph Over Temptation. So free app. It's called Triumph Over Temptation and I've got a book coming out March 5th Seven Lies that Will Ruin your Life, and it's really. Hey, the world promises satisfaction and your heart actually longs for it, but there's truth to be found in the person of Jesus, and that is the one thing that will truly satisfy you and leave you free. 51:18 - Speaker 2 I'm fired up about this. Joshua Broom, seven Lies Will Ruin your Life, the book. Look up joshuabroomme, go to cmnmen and we'll link up all these things. But, dude, it's been a great meeting you and getting just exposing. You know, find you know, when we put the light on these things, it helps us find a reference point in which we're able to say, oh, you know what, the enemy's trying to take me out. John 1010 is real. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. And right now there's somebody listening who, even today, might struggle with this and they get a little extra time, or whatever the case may be. Or, like you said, you didn't take the computer into your bedroom or bathroom and right then you can say, hey, the enemy right now is trying to take me out. This is a hook right here, the enemy's trying to take me out and I'm gonna fight this thing, gonna win. But I think you know, to me, you've got Addison, you've got other friends right, you got your wife. I think we need friends. Oh, absolutely. 52:20 I mean we need a band of brothers. 52:21 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so the thing that changed my life was. So there was a man, his name's Andrew Yates and he's, for almost eight years now. We sit down and we have this conversation called Hot Conversations Honest, open and Transparent and he asked me you know, how am I doing spiritually, how am I doing physically, how am I doing mentally, how's my marriage? And I trust him enough to tell him the truth, and he trusts you know, and he loves me enough to give me a real response, because sometimes we need to be stabbed in the front right, Sometimes we need encouragement, sometimes we need to kick in the butt. 52:57 So it's like man, what stays in the dart will grow, and what you bring into light, It'll be eradicated by the love of Christ. Man, Sometimes we need not a partial confession, because we're only as free as we're honest and when we're ready to be honest, that's when Jesus will come in and he'll take you to a level of healing, a level of freedom, and he'll be able to operate in a level of boldness, that boldness and authority that comes with the Holy Spirit. 53:24 It comes in a place of fully being surrendered, not you doing the right thing, being fully surrendered. So that's what I want for people and that's what changed my life. 53:33 - Speaker 2 Yeah, don't be a mushroom. 53:34 - Speaker 1 Yeah, Jesus saved my life, but applying the Bible to my life, that's what changed me so good. 53:40 - Speaker 2 Yeah, don't be a mushroom in the dark and covered with crap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, joshua room. Thanks, man, god bless you in everything you do. Pray that the Lord blesses you and your wife. You've got three little boys. You've got another boy coming. This is fantastic. I love the fact that there's some young men who are gonna have an awesome dad. 54:00 - Speaker 3 Yeah, can't wait. 54:01 - Speaker 2 Yeah amen, God bless you, man. Thank you so much. 54:04 - Speaker 3 Brave Men is a production of Christian Men's Network, a global movement of men committed to passionately following Jesus on the ground in over 100 nations worldwide. You can receive the Brave Men motivational email, find books and resources for discipleship and parenting at cmnmen. That's cmnmen. Your host has been Paul Lewis Cole, president of Christian Men's Network, and if you haven't yet, please make sure you subscribe to the Brave Men podcast wherever you're finding podcasts or download it. Thanks for hanging with us today. We'll see you next time on Brave Men.