BraveMen S4E111: John Arana - Respect

It's Brave Men with Paul Lewis Cole, wisdom and courage for the journey. Hey, welcome to Brave Men today. We've got a special podcast today. It's the Go 15. 15 Go. So 15 Go. That was just so John Arana could jump in and correct me because he likes doing that. And he's good at it. And I need it. Everybody needs correction from someone. And I apparently don't receive enough of it. So it's great to have you guys here today on Brave Men. John Arana, Pastor of Oasis Church in Arlington, Texas. You've heard him on a few other programs. And we've covered a lot of subjects. This is an interesting subject. The word is respect. Respect. Respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Yeah. We're not going to go there. But it's a wreath of Franklin, right? Yeah. But she's talking about respect. That's right. And when she sang it, it became a big seller. Big huge, huge, huge hit. Why? Because everybody resonated with that. Yeah, I want some respect. That's right. Yeah. And I should have some respect. That's right. Respect me. And I think that there's a lot of issues around this work. Yeah, it's good. And there's a lot of issues if you're listening and you're a follower of Christ. There's a lot of things there. Yeah. And we can come out from a couple of different directions. I wanted to start with this side, and then we'll bring it into marriage. Okay. Okay. And you can be the marriage guru today. I'll be like, dude, I had no idea. Well, anyway, you've been married longer than me. Yeah, I've been married longer. Doesn't mean I know more. Just because somebody's older doesn't mean you're more mature, right? But I want to bring it into... I'm going to start it with Proverbs 1, 7. And it says this. Because it's talking about knowledge and understanding wisdom. It says, the fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools to size wisdom and discipline. Let me read it in the original King James, which a lot of people would remember. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools to size wisdom and instruction. Now, let me hit it from a passion translation, which says, we cross the threshold of true knowledge when we live an obedient devotion to God. So their translation of fear is obedient devotion. Fascinating. Yeah. So let's go to the message and see what he had to say. It says, start with God. The first step in learning is bowing down to God. Only fools thumb their noses as such wisdom and learning. Now, here's in a program about respect, here's why I wanted to start with that. To me, the fear of the Lord is the respect of the position of God. For me, it's an awe of Him, which is a synonym of respect. I dignify His positions. I defer to Him. I honor Him. I esteem Him. Yeah. So fear isn't being afraid, because He's our Father. That's right. But the actual real meaning for me is, I esteem Him. I regard Him. That's good. I revere Him. Yes. And it reminds me of Joshua when Joshua became the leader of Israel. It says in Joshua chapter 4, it says that from the day that after Moses died. Yeah. And then the people, you know, Joshua comes out and he makes a proclamation. And the people say to him, hey, take courage. And God says, be encouraged. Yeah. And Joshua comes out and basically stands with the ark of the Lord and declares the word of God. Yeah. And it says that God at that point gave him favor. Yeah. And it says that the people began to revere Him from that day forward for the rest of his life. In the same way they had revered Moses. Moses. Yeah. Now, to me, that meant they began to respect Him. That's good. A steam hymn. That's good. That's good. Right? Yeah. Honor Him. Reverence Him. You know, in the same way they had done Moses. Yeah. So respect to me is a steaming somebody, giving them regard, giving them honor. Yes, good. And so when we talk about respect, I think the one of the things that is hit me in our culture today is leaders who have disrespected the call on their lives and carried out their role at their level with dishonor. Oh, that's heavy. Okay. So when I'm called to respect somebody, I not only have to respect them, but I've got to respect the work of God in my life. And if I begin to operate it in this respect of that position, I've dishonored God. That's good. That's good. I've dishonored the position. That's good. And I think of, I mean, it's a terrible case. It's very public. Ravi Zacharias. Yes. Who died May of 2020? Sure. In August of 2020, all these accusations came out, which turned out to be tragically true about his life. And what he had done in his life, as he had dishonored, he had disrespected and dishonored the position God had placed him in. God had put him in a position to influence, like my son, Brandon, who is a pastor of C-34worth, Brandon looked at him as a hero of the faith. He said that I've read so many of his books, and he was to me, this hero, whose spoke of he was a spokesman for the cause of Christ. He was in a general of the gospel. I mean, he was definitely a deep guy. So you think about that. And I think of Bill Clinton, who disrespected and dishonored the position he was called to as president of the free world, of course, or the leader of the free world, President of the United States. So now, let's bring that forward, because one of the things that you and I hear a lot is in married situations. He doesn't respect me, or she doesn't respect me. And I often wonder, John, if part of the issue is we haven't honored the role or position we've been placed in, and we've actually disrespected being a husband. I've dishonored being a husband, because a husband is a role. Stuff I'm supposed to do. Exactly. Right? I mean, I'm supposed to be a covering for my wife. There you go. I'm supposed to help lead my family. That means I mentor my children. That's right. You know, the failure of Gideon's life, he didn't mentor his sons. He lost the kingdom the day he died, the failure of Robbie's life. He didn't. He dishonored himself and didn't honor himself to the point of mentoring his family in truth. So now, here we come to this place of respect. Yeah. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I'm not being respected. How many times have I heard that? Oh, yeah. I'm just not being respected. Yeah. So now, the Bible, what does the Bible say? Pastor John. You're a pastor. What does the Bible say? When we come to marriage. Yeah. Because this is a huge deal, man. Like he doesn't respect me. He doesn't respect me. Yeah. And I often wonder, particularly, like with guys, with men, talking to his men. Most of us are men who are listening right now. Sure. Perhaps with dishonored. Yeah. Disrespective of the position we're in. So how can we be respected? That's good. Disrespective of the position, if I'm not disciplining my life. Yeah. If I'm not in the word. That's good. If I'm not doing the stuff that a man's supposed to do. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm not doing man stuff. Yeah. You know, man. It's hard for somebody to respect that, right? And then I'm like, ticked off because, hey man, she doesn't respect me. And she doesn't want to have sex. Often enough. Or whatever the deal is. Right. But it usually comes back to that. Right. Well, communication, sex, and life. There you go. There. What does the Bible say about respect, about love? Well, you know, from my experience being married as well as my experience, you know, helping other people. And as a pastor and as a coach. I think a lot of it, you hit it right, right on the nose. You hit it right, right that center. You know, when people are not honoring or valuing what they have. Or their role or their function. Then they're not only dishonoring themselves, but they're dishonoring God. They're also dishonoring the person that they're with. You know, whether it's their spouse or their partner or whatever. And I think that that produces a lack of respect. You know, that doesn't mean I don't respect the person at all. But it means that my level of value or steam diminishes because of the lack of honoring and respecting themselves. And I think a lot of times I hear that, you know, from guys or from women. And a lot of it goes back to the fact that, you know, the person doesn't function in their role as they should. You know, the guy is not leading. The guy is not being an example. The guy is not helping around the house. The guy, you know, all these things. We're supposed to help around the house. Dude, I'm telling you, man. And this is a little sidebar. Yeah. I'm telling you, the first time, and this is a number of years ago, but the first time that that unprovoked and unasked and just did it. It's because some guy had told me about it. Yeah. The guy had been married longer. Yeah. He goes, dude, I'll tell you what, if you'll unload the dishwasher and put everything away, not just put it on the counter. That's it. That's it. And put everything away. Did you be like a hero? You're really? Yeah. I mean, we already had kids by then. So I figured I must be doing something right. Right. So I did that. Yeah. I just did that. This random bam. Everything's put away. She comes up a little later. She's like, do you want to load a dishwasher? Wow. Oh, yeah. Wow. Really. And then she's wondering what's the angle? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want? What do you want tonight? What's that about? Yeah. No, but it was like a thing. And she and I, you know, we've been married 50 years. Yeah. We talk about stuff. So we talked about it. Of course. You know what? It really meant a lot to me. It really meant that you respected the fact that I did this. That's right. Dude, just the other day. We've been married 50 years. Yeah. Just the other day. I grabbed her and I go, hey. You washed all my clothes. She goes, yeah. I go, you washed all of them and you folded them. Yeah. There you go. She goes, yeah. That's what I do. I go, I know. But I just want to tell you thank you. Yeah. Because that's good. That's good. That's good. Thanks so for granted. Right? And a lot of time, here's what I hear the most. I hear the most when the guy wants to make decisions. And she's not in agreement. And that's not bad. But the fact that she never sees him praying. She never sees him reading the Word. She never sees him pursuing spiritual growth. She is not going to just completely put her life in his hands. And let him make all the decisions that going to impact her life as well. Because she does not see that he's stepping up to be the leader. But yet he wants to call all the shots. Boom. Okay, but what about Ephesians 5? She's supposed to submit, right? I mean, come on. You know, obviously, you know. Listen to that. Wait a minute. Listen to that. Wait a minute. Listen to that. There's one particular domination that's run by men. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that. But, you know, if he's not functioning in his role, if he's not doing his mission as a man, then how is she going to come under that? Because submission means coming under the mission of another. Allow the person to come under that. Hit that again. Submissions. See the word submission comes from coming under the mission of another person. Wow. Submissions. So if he's not doing his mission, what is she going to submit to? What is he going to come under when he's not doing it? So she's got nothing to come under. And so that creates a huge issue of disrespect. And it's not that she doesn't care about him, but it's that she thinks like, man, I'm not going to trust this guy's. Come on, man. That's real. That's real life. That happens a lot. Father, son, and Holy Spirit. Father, son, and Holy Spirit. Which one's more equal than the other? They're all the same. They're the same. Good answer, pastor. I'll put you under. They're the same. Watch this. Father, son, Holy Spirit, they're the same. They're equal. Yeah. Co-equal. Yes. Jesus came as God Himself. Yeah. Divinity. Holy Spirit's not number three on the rank. No. Okay. Watch this. Jesus thinking not more highly of Himself. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Put Himself in a place to be sacrificed at the will of the Father. Yeah. So they each have a role. Yeah. So they're co-equal. Exactly. That's marriage. That's it. Yeah. We have the same value, but we don't have the same function. But when we're not functioning, then there's nothing to submit to. Because they're an agreement. That's right. Father, son, Holy Spirit, they're an agreement. And if we both function, then we have a complementary relationship. But when we don't, then instead of completing, we are competing. Okay. If you're listening right now, and you haven't listened to the podcast on communication, where Pastor John laid out his five rules of communication, go back and listen to it. Because right now, if you're thinking about your marriage, you've got to listen to that. And it's only 15 minutes. That's it. Okay. And there it is. 15 though. You can't be. You can't be. I don't know where that sound came from, but it's on my phone. Hey, all the tools to minister to men and to disciple men are can be found at cmn.men, Christian men's network, cmn.men for almost 50 years. Christian men's network has helped churches and pastors and leaders around the world disciple men. We believe you touch a heart of a man, you've reached the soul of a nation, and we believe in the local church. We are Pastor John, you and I have talked about it a lot. We are Christ-centered and church-centered. That's right. And we believe the local churches, the hope of the world. And in over 68,000 churches around the world, we've helped pastors and leaders to disciple men, tools you'll need, all sorts of languages, cmn.men. Remember to go on Facebook or YouTube or wherever this, wherever you listen to this platform and like us, hit the like thing, hit the follow thing, subscribe and all that because that helps us reach more people. And as always, your gifts and support of this ministry financially helps us do more. We were just talking about a moment ago. We've green-lighted six translations for India, six new languages. Wow. Farsi just came online, comes online in October of this year, 2021. And other languages were moving towards in the near future. And Vietnamese, now we have six books. We're green-lighting a seventh book, the book treasure. In Vietnamese, hopefully be out for a special seminar. We'll do in Vietnam by satellite in January of 2022. So thank you, Pastor John Aronato. And what's your website? OasisDFW.org. OasisDFW.org. Great church in Arlington, Texas. And great having you part of the team with our Christmas Network. And you've been part of the team for many years. Hey, thanks for being with us on Brave Men podcast today. My name is Paul Lewis Cole, president of Christmas Network. Remember hope is alive. Hope has a name. Hope's name is Jesus. You just experienced Brave Men with Paul Lewis Cole. Paul is president of the Christian Men's Network. Connect with Paul at cmn.man. Or write to him at Paul at cmn.man.