BraveMen S4E103: John Arana - Decisions

Hey, this is going to be great. We're doing the 15-go series. I'm here, Paul Cole, with John Arana, and what we're going to do in the 15-go series is hit issues that hit us. We're going to hit stuff that seems to jump up in every man's life. John is the lead pastor and church planner for Oasis Church, thriving church in Arlington, Texas. And you've traveled all over the world doing leadership, helping guys with stuff, doing ministry to men, you work with Nikki Cruz, all kinds of major leaders around the world. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to have some application, I'm going to have some comments and you're going to fix them. Is that right? I don't know. I don't know about that. I'm just going to flow from you. So like if you're going on the wrong path, I'm going with you. Well, because I figured somebody had to be the Christian on the podcast and I elected you. Okay. Okay. I'm going to try. Okay. Okay. So this first show, first program we're doing and what we're going to do is we're going to hit, we're going to hit this timer and we're going 15 minutes. All right. And remember my dad would always say he says, I'm not done, but I'm finished, right? It's like time's up. Okay. So we won't finish. We won't close three times. We won't be three closes. So I won't be necessarily, you know, as strongly religious as we would like it to be. This is going to be us. That's good. It's going to be real. Yeah. The real instead of religion. Yeah. Kind of a Jesus thing. Yeah. Yeah. What a concept. What a concept. Okay. I haven't started the clock yet. I noticed that. I noticed that. I knew we were going to do some little BS back and forth. You know, that's good. We should have recorded that. You did record this. Oh, that's good. Man. That's good. I think it's a very good. But we just didn't start the clock yet. Okay. Okay. 15 go. All right. And what we're dealing with today in the first program is decisions. Yeah. Decisions. Yeah. Decision making because I think we live in a highly distracted world. Right? Yeah. And it's hard for guys to make decisions. A lot of stuff going on. Dude. Yeah. And you see it. Like you're in a major city. Yeah. Arlington, Texas. Yeah. The home of the Dallas Cowboys. Yeah. And the Texas Rand. And the Texas Rangers. Yeah. Come on. And the home of. It's great. Uranus. So we're going to hit this. You're ready. You ready to go on this thing? Let's do it, man. Okay. Let's do it. It's Brave Man with Paul Lewis Cole. Wisdom and courage for the journey. Decision making. To me, one of the biggest issues that I deal with when I talk to men and I've dealt with in my own life is in decision. Yeah. And just not making a decision. It was Teddy Roosevelt who said, at the moment, you face a great obstacle. The most important thing is to make the right decision. Yeah. He said the second most important thing is to just make a decision. Right? Just make a decision. Make a decision. And but decision making, man. I mean, I had a buddy. We talked about it before we went on. You got a friend. I got another buddy. You got another buddy. I had a buddy. Listen, too. He was the best man in my wedding. I was the best man in his first wedding. Okay. So, so he gets, he buys a pickup truck. He's like, Hey, he's a fisherman. We're both, we both love fishing. Okay. So this is years ago. He buys a pickup truck there. Two little, two little kids. Oh, man. Buies a pickup truck. So that's the first thing. Yeah, exactly. So they're at Sears. Remember, Sears? Yeah. Okay. So they're at Sears. She comes walking out and there's a camper shell on the back, like a smaller camper shell. Right. But it's on there. Oh, dude. She goes ballistic. She's thinking, what in the world? Yeah. She goes, what the hell? Right? I mean, and so she gets in. And he's like, well, I needed it. I needed it. Oh, my gosh. She says, well, why? He goes, well, you'll see. Pulls around the back. And these guys put, you know, like a 14 foot metal John boat to go fishing. They put these, these workers put it on the top. And she's probably flipping out, man. She's thinking decisions. Yeah. Decisions. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have a similar buddy. And his name is Jose. And one day he just shows up at his house with a brand new top of the main showed up pickup truck. Like he's married. Oh, he's married and showed up. He's got kids. And he just boom drives in with this pickup. And his wife is like, what is that? And he's like, oh, I decided to get a pickup truck. And she was so mad because she's like, he didn't talk to me. We didn't, we didn't go over our finances, nothing. And she said, oh, how much is the monthly payment? And he's like, oh, $750 for a pickup truck. That's like double my first house payment. But then I did it then. That's a different thing. Yeah. And she was, she was furious, man. But here's the thing. What this guy didn't know is that a couple of weeks later, he was going to get laid off. So he got laid off. So then he couldn't make his car payment. So he lost his car. And since he didn't have a job, he also lost his house. And so he almost lost his entire marriage because he made decisions without basing them on principles just on emotions. Based on principle. Okay. So there's indecision. That's one side. Yeah. And then the other is is making decisions that are unwise. In other words, we haven't used wisdom. Yeah. There you go. There you go. And I think that that could be a key thing here. Yeah. Don't you? I mean, Proverbs 8 says the first thing God ever created was wisdom. Yeah. Proverbs 4 says, guard your heart because out of your heart, wisdom comes your life. Yeah. James 1.5 was to say, says if a man lacks wisdom, when he asks the Lord to do wisdom, and wisdom, what's what's wisdom? Wisdom is having the understanding of what the implications are. Right. So what your what your friend did and what my friend did is they didn't realize what was going to happen down the road. Yeah. I mean, there was no wisdom there. Unintended consequences. Yeah. Yeah. Which it sounds like Washington DC, like the Congress. Unintended consequences. Yeah. How do you help men make decisions, John? Well, I mean, you know, one of the things that his help me is to have practical questions that I ask myself when I'm going to make a decision. And a couple of them is like, I call it the scripture test, you know, what what what what what what has God said about this, you know, if you're going to make a decision, is there a scripture test that you can that you can look for because, you know, the Bible says all scripture is given by inspiration. And it helps us to make decisions and so on. And so forth. So I tell guys, hey, what's is there a scripture test here? Another one would be serenity tests, you know, I mean, do you have peace about your decision? Yeah. You know, have you thought about this? Do you feel that's in maximized manhood? It's a peace being the umpire of God's will. Exactly. That's what what Dr. Colt taught us. And so, you know, you got to I think what you're saying is is the key is the wisdom. Because in in these questions, you're going to wrestle with the wisdom of your decision. And of course, if you're married, then you better be talking to your wife about it. You know, I think talking to your wife, if if if you're married, I think that's such a key. Yeah. Because you've got to be in agreement. Agreement is the place of power, pace of power. And I think some of that, John, I think some of that starts in the fact that we don't talk about small things. Yeah. So then we just we don't, we kind of build this layer upon layer of not talking about stuff. Yeah, we develop a pattern. Yeah. And then we don't want to talk about some of the big stuff. And then we don't talk about larger things like the $750 a month. You know, or you know, it's other things like like your sex life as a marriage, intimacy, or like how we're treating each other's in-laws. Yeah. You know, and all of a sudden, you find out that your wife's got an attitude about the way you talk to her brother. Sure. Sure. You know, you never knew that. Yeah. You know, things, little things like that. And if we don't start with a smaller thing, like does the butter go in the refrigerator? We're in the cupboard. Right? I mean, like, yeah, I have my opinion about that. See, this is why this is why I think young men ought to talk to old guys. Oh, man, about George and stuff. It's like, you don't need a 28 year old coach. He's been married three years to help. And you had to be married. No way. You know, old guys like you need to talk to the guy who's been there, done that. And he's gone through it. Yeah. He's got the skins on the wall. Yeah. Exactly right. Yeah. In fact, he's been pushed against the wall a few times. And you're married, Karen. Yeah. Your wife, Karen. 42 years. Dude, really. 42 years. That's incredible. I didn't even know you were that old. Yeah. Yeah. I look you. Yeah. Well, I don't know what I hope. It's a matter of opinion. I'll ask Chris. And then, and then Judy and I have been married 50 years this year. What? That's crazy. Yeah. 50. Yeah. This year. Dude, I'm telling you, man. Yeah. People think I'm younger. Like, like, I met a guy that listened to the podcast. I met him off the Seattle young guy and he goes, uh, he's looking at me. He's talking. He's how to impact his life and stuff. And he says, I looked out and I go, you thought I was younger, didn't you? And he goes, um, yeah. I go, that's just my immaturity coming across the microphone. Well, you have, you have a younger sounding voice. Yeah. Well, there you go. Hey, but here's the thing, decision making, decision making. I thought where you hit this thing about peace is really important. Now, in decision is inertia. A inertia means something's at rest. Yeah. In fact, when they measure life, whether or not there's life in something, yeah, one of the things I study is, is it's sitting there and never moving? Right. If there's, if there's no movement, it's basically dead. Sure. An indecision can kill a marriage and kill a relationship. Absolutely. Hey, speaking of marriage, what about single guys making decisions? I think single guys have to go through the same test, you know, scripture test, and so forth. And I think that they need to have some good buddies. You need a band of brothers say need. Boy, that comes, it comes right back to being in a, in a local church. They have to. Yeah. Because you can say to a guy, Hey, I was going to buy this. What is ram charge? Yeah. Pick up, you know, how much is it? 750? How much do you make? Yeah. 750. Yeah. He's going, dude, you have your wrong track. Yeah. Have you, have you checked your business? You know, if you checked it, yeah, where things are going, you know, your industry's going down. You're not Amazon. Right. Right. And so you, you got to have those brothers that are going to, you know, that, that, that have to talk to you, that have the right to speak into your life. And, and that themselves have some wisdom. Yeah. That's right. Proverbs says don't talk foolish people about what trying to make a wise decision. Exactly. Because he's a fool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we know who that guy is. Oh, yeah. Everybody knows that guy. So don't talk to that guy. Don't talk to him. Talk to that guy. Yeah. Exactly. So I think that, that in a, in a world of high distraction. Yeah. One of the things that when you talk about serenity, to me, it makes me think of why did Jesus pray? Yeah. Why did Jesus pray? Don't you think that Jesus could have gone, hey, Father, you think of what I'm thinking? Yeah. Father goes, yeah, we're good. We're both God. They go on the same page. Exactly. And it says that Jesus prayed. It says he would get away often. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I think that my take on that, John, and I'm talking with Pastor John Rana, who's with us today on 15 go, which is the series we're doing on dealing with major issues in men's lives, helping us be better men. And I believe that Jesus got away to pray because he was being pulled 100 directions. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you got to come to this village. Yeah. Hey, you got to come heal this guy. You got to do this guy. Yeah. And he had to get things centered because he said you I only do what the Father shows me to do. There you go. There you go. I think prayer. I think there's a prayer. I think prayer is a huge thing for men. Yeah. And most of us don't pray. And it's in prayer that you're able to connect with God. And it's like Jesus said, I only do what the what I see the Father do. And I only say what I hear the Father say. That's it. And so when you connect it with God in prayer, then wisdom, God's wisdom begins to flood your heart, begins to flood your mind. And you begin to see things clearer. You know, then if you don't pray about it, if you don't connect with God, then it's just a big fog. And you can't get through. You can't get through the emotional desire. There's two kinds of fog. There's there's the fog of this world. And then there's a fog that's the favor of God. That's that's like a Christian. That's good. That's good. So I think praying is huge. And that's where you're going to get the peace. That's where something happens in your in your soul that it gets settled and intuitively, obviously, by connecting with God. You realize this is the right thing. We have to trust the Holy Spirit, don't we? Yeah. We have to actually believe the Bible, don't we John? Yeah. Yeah. That the Bible says that the spirit of God is in you. Become a follower of Christ, your new creation. That's that's huge. And that the spirit of God that's in you is greater than the spirit that's in the world. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to tell you something, man. I had to find a place. I had to come to a place because if a guy was a good salesman, I'm like, dude, you're a great guy. Yeah. You're obviously trying to make my life really awesome. So I'm in. Yeah. And I would just buy stuff. Right. And I'm like, I had to come to a point where you know, this guy's doing his job. Yeah. God bless him. Yeah. But I have to I have to actually step back. Yeah. And maybe that's another thing on major decisions. Yeah. Yeah. We put it on your list. The step back step back. That needs to go. That needs to be the the placement test. Placement test. Are they all start with P? They all start with S. Okay. Let's see. The stumble test. The spirit test, the serving test. You know, it's like if I make this decision, would I be okay if everyone else makes this kind of decision? Wow. Would I be okay if everyone follows my example? Yeah. And making this decision. Wow. And so you know, you think about practical things like that. And you're going like, well, what do I want my wife showing up for the truck? What I want my son to show up with a pickup truck is a $750. I put your name on it. Yeah. But I think that's wow. That's a really good test. Yeah. And I think, but I think stepping back, taking a deep breath. That's good. Yeah. You know, Jesus did that a lot. I think that's a step back thing. He got outside. In fact, you know, the minute he started his ministry, like the he gets baptized by John, right? Yeah. His ministry starts and he moves. He steps back. He moves from Nazareth to Capernaum. And he goes to the desert. Yeah. And then he goes to the desert. Well, it was that thing, too. Yeah. Which is, of course, his filled with temptation. But you know, one of the things that has helped me with with with decision is that my wife and I through the teaching of Dr. Cole of learning to make decisions in agreement, place of power is that her and I decided, Hey, we're not going to make any purchase or any any we're not going to spend any money of a certain amount unless we talk to each other. Wow. And man, I've been at the Apple store, man. I mean, dying to buy this computer. You know, that's like back then was like $4,000, you know, and I'm just drooling all over it, man. And I'm like, I need this. I need this. It's not just one. No, no, I need to have this. I need this. And I call my wife because, you know, it's what we do. I call my wife and I said, look, I got this computer here. I got to have this. I need this really. And she's like, well, how much is it? I told her and she says, oh, you don't need that. I was so upset, man. I was so upset that you got in car and drove away. No, but here's the thing. Oh, yeah. I backed up. But watch this, Paul. Four months later, a group of guys in church bought me that same computer. Wow. And now I have the computer, but I don't owe any money. Come on, man. So it's God, you know, when we don't know, we're going to principle, God honors that. Yeah. And that principle as a follower of crisis is, we think about others. Yeah. Right. We think about others, not just our own desires. Exactly. We think about what's this going to do to others and people around us. What's the impact? Yeah. Yeah. You know, I know guys who have bought a lesser car in order to be able to give money into things that are going on with their local church or in missions and things like that. Hey, dude, our time went up. Our 15. That was the 15. 15 go went. Yeah. And I was fantastic talking with pastor John Rana Oasis church, Arlington, Texas. And Christian men's network. This is a ministry. Brave men is a ministry. The Christian men's network, C-M-N dot men and the tools you need to help the Cypill men are there. And all of these things, a lot of what we talk about comes out of our curriculum because you and I are basically bathed in. Oh, yeah. So thanks for being with us, John on the first 15 go in which we went 18. But a part of it was the pre. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's a goal. It's a goal. It's a goal. But I think we'll stick with it. So, and thank you for being a part of brave men today and being on our podcast and sitting and listening to it and in your car, wherever we may be. And we just pray the hand of God is on your life today. Remember this. Hope now. Hope all is. God bless. We'll see you next time. You just experienced brave men with Paul Lewis Cole. Paul is president of the Christian men's network. Connect with Paul at C-M-N dot men or write to him at Paul at C-M-N dot men.