BraveMen S3E72: Jon Gordon - The Power of Positivity

Talking to John Gordon is talking to a man who's passionate about what he believes in what he's about He is a motivator and some people are called motivational speakers only because they they want to be in front of people John Gordon wants people to he's pushing people forward helping them become leaders the power of positive leadership is one of his books the power of a positive team the coffee bean the carpenter which we're going to talk about today on brave men So thanks for being with us and with me as always Is Chris shields our producer and John Gordon you actually Had looked at some of his stuff before we talked and and I had to heard about him and yes He's he's been with the Los Angeles Dodgers, right? Yep some of his clients Dell Corporation Clemson football Northwestern Mutual West Point Academy and more Miami Heat Miami Heat did he help him get to the finals last year? I don't know man, but it's Dodgers one that's true. So so it works. Yeah, so it must something's working. He has some insight Yeah, this guy's written over 20 books and you know the conversation with him This is one of those people I could talk to for hours. Yes, because he's not only just full of life and You know, you know, the true motivator. Yeah, he just has it in him. Yeah, so you know I'm talking to him and he's kind of trying to talk to me about stuff, you know like about me and I really enjoyed the conversation John is a remarkable man who has built an amazing Organization the John Gordon companies. Yeah, and speaks to me. He's a graduate of Cornell And has a master's in teaching which maybe that kind of helps Motivate him to do what he's doing But you know the what you guys talk about today, you know the book Carpenter Yeah, you know one of the highlights that I love about this book is you know this theme the one with the servant's heart is the leader Yeah, you know, and that's something that we hear at christian minster Wow Here at christian minster that we're talking about a lot. That was a we're not even gonna edit that I'm gonna leave that in there just to help you stay humble man If you want to go like a little at the end of the year, you know how they always play the the best of yes, yes That'll be the best of Tell David to leave that in there But you know like he he does you know, I love that quote, you know The one with the servant's heart is the leader. Yeah, you know, and I think that especially in my generation That's often time. Oh, man Um opportunity or that the miss um, you know Moment it's like it's not the one that is in the front that actually is directing. Yeah, it's the one behind the scene That you didn't even know about yeah, and that's that's how we feel about john when I was talking with him It was like he had that thing on him. It was like You know, I mentioned right that's the top he he's not as concerned about being up front is about helping other people move forward Exactly that makes sense exactly And so uh man, and he his books that the carpenter is an allegorical tale. Yeah, right? So uh, which means it's representative of things yeah, and I figured it out you figured it out. Oh, yeah I totally figured it out. It's got spiritual connotations. Wow. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it took me a while Yeah, you know, I had to go get the cliff notes You get the Matthew Henry's commentary on the carpenter by John Gordon So Anyway, so uh, no, it's great and this is going to be a fantastic I mean this is this is the type of thing that we do a christian men's network is help men grow larger Right, and that's why John Gordon's here exactly because not only are we being you know Introduced to what he does and his materials, but he's helping us stretch Exactly as we launch and revive ourselves renew refresh our lives and move forward stronger into a great great year In the middle of pandemics and everything else going on Yeah, and this is another quote before we jump into the interview that I just that really stuck out to me You know talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. Wow You know, and it's like it goes back to a lot of the things that we've talked about numerous times on you know The brave men podcasts. What are you telling yourself? You know, what I love how you say, you know, your identity is the story you tell yourself about yourself So what are you telling yourself? Yeah, and as you go into this new year This is a fresh slate of fresh opportunity to start telling yourself the right things. That's why we have this That's why John's here right now exactly because too often we tell ourselves stuff about our mistakes Things that other people have said some guy put you down when you were in fifth grade some coach told you You never make it exactly and now You know we live with this stuff when we make that part of the essence of our lives and John's gonna help shift that today And excited to have today John Gordon on brave men and it's good to have you with us too It's brave man with Paul Lewis Cole Wisdom encourage for the journey Hey Hey, John Gordon. Thanks for being with me today and great to meet you brother I've you know in fact I've read your books Um, John Gordon is if you haven't read his stuff You're gonna want to read all of them when we get done here John Gordon is one of uh the leading inspirational and motivational authors in the world and a thought leader In other words the things that we may talk about a few months from now. He's thinking of or putting in the motion now So uh so John, thanks for taking the time to hang out Uh, let me ask you a quick thing though because Frankly and maybe it's just the fact I like coffee one of my favorite books you've written is the coffee bean Which is which is don't you know when the when water gets hot is Don't just succumb to the environment but change it which is what the coffee bean does right You don't want to be the the carrot when you put that into hot water it gets weakened Right, you don't want to be the egg which gets hardened by the hot water by the environment We could be like the carrot we can crumble from the inside out We could allow the stress and the pressure to bring us down. Yeah, we could be like the egg where we get hardened and bitter and angry Wow of the situations we face we know a lot of people who That's happened to in the course of their life Or we could be like the coffee bean and when you put that coffee bean into boiling hot water it transforms the water Into coffee it literally changes the name. We don't even call it water anymore We give it a new name. We call it coffee. Wow So instead of the environment impacting it it impacts the environment and I think that's what we're called to do every day is Leaders to transform From the inside out the power is on the inside. It's not on the outside our circumstances have no power over us We are more powerful than our circumstances. Wow You know and and uh you talk a lot about leadership in in your books or in leadership, you know stalls and Hashtag and all that But when I really delve into it you don't teach leadership as much as you teach servanhood I Would say that's a great point. I mean in terms of The carpenter it's about being a servant leader, but I would say I am teaching leadership because being a leader means being a servant There you go So the greatest leader of all time Jesus the ultimate Positive leader taught about servant leadership. He was a servant leader show so he shows us How to lead three principles that make you a great leader love Serve and care Love serving care love others love what you do love your team Serve them serve their talents serve their heart serve their mindset serve their growth And then show that you care you can actually break down. That's what he did it in all Three phases of leadership of what he did He loved he served and he's sure that he cared and we still tell stories about him to this day Now obviously it was more than just the actions right it's who he was right, but but it's his actions that we remember It's the stories that are being told and really it's the model of leadership that we can we can all emulate so in the carpenter I I share that now the power positive leadership is very much the same way It's about being a positive leader. It's our optimism our belief But ultimately to be a great leader. It's not just state of mind. It's a state of action And it's how we we lead others by communicating connecting committing and caring one of the things that we we teach and See men in the global fatherhood initiative is you're only qualified to lead to the degree you're willing to serve and so But but you can't sell books on servitude so You can't do a you can't do a servanhood conference You know, but but you can do a leadership now the fascinating thing to me was Was I think it was was it a forward that Kim Blanchard wrote when he talked about Uh When he has people hold up their hands. How many here are leaders only 20% of the crowd? Yes Holes up their hand So most of us don't fuel our leaders But if we read if we go way back old school judge or are the greatest salesman or ever lived He talked about it's done bars number right 152 How many people we impact in our lives every single day so in fact we are thought leaders in the world in which we live Yeah, we all have the ability to influence others And so I read a thing where if you impact eight actually if you if you in the course of your life Sorry in the course of the life in your life you will impact 80,000 people right through Interactions through a ripple effect enough to fill a stadium, but I only tell people Even if you just impact one person You are a leader because you are influencing that person you have the ability to impact The people that are around you and I always get this question especially from younger people john I want to be a leader Where do I start and I tell them love serving care Start there if you start to impact the people around you You will grow as a leader you will grow in your influence the more you influence those people I know Chick-fil-A and they had a a guy that was a leader in title But he couldn't get his team to follow him He said okay, we're taking you away from your team. You're no longer the leader You have to find a way to get them to follow you and if you can't then we can't have you in this company anymore He could not get them to follow him and all he would have to do he really wanted to be a leader was to say So what are you working on And how can I help you? Wow, if he would have done that and join them Join them in their growth in their work. He would have been a leader So your leader is not way ahead of the pack right Sometimes they they go the way in advance to see what they have to To where they have to go but ultimately a leader walks with you and lifting you up when you fall down to me That's the visual of a leader. Well that that's your care piece which is compassion which You know the strength of a man is never on the outside. It's always on the inside And so if I if you will it comes out of you know the whole route thing which is love Yeah, and and if you invest in the route one of my key principles is if you invest in the route You'll get a great supplier fruit Focus on the fruit of the tree the outcome the numbers the stock price the wins and the losses right now Our fruit is not doing very well our route is facing some troubles in our country You focus on the fruit and you ignore the route the tree dies I believe what's going on right now is causing us to get back to investing in our route to nurturing That route our culture our people our purpose our love and if we do that We will get a great supply of fruit. It's all about route to fruit not fruit to root Yes You know what's cool about this time that we're spending together is is uh I'm going to come out of here with so many cool notes. I'm going to look like a genius and next time I get up to speak somewhere It's gonna be a long shoot. I appreciate that it's it's all it's all god He gives me the insights and the wisdom and and really yeah when people ask hey John How do you write these books and I read them about three and a half weeks Sometimes the longest is four weeks and I just want to give all credit and all glory to god Even though I'm in the marketplace working with all these different great companies and sports teams schools God really gives me these insights and I wasn't a believer until I was 35 years old. I was bad. I was at 35 and my life Transformed after that. I I'm a good friend with good friends with Irwin McManus a pastor out of LA and a disruptor Yeah, Irwin did a lot of work in in Dallas in the early days and Irwin I became great friends and it's his sermons that led me to to Jesus and We talk now and he's like John. How have you gotten so smart because you would not like this when I met you I'm like you're right only god could do this. Yeah, only god. Yeah, that's when you have to stand back and say only god Yeah, so I'm reading the passion translation the first part of this year, which is a I had not read before It's a great new translation and my wife have been reading it for a couple of years So I committed in my personal devotions read that so the beauty of it I read Proverbs every morning based on the day of the month And the beauty of Proverbs and the passion translation to your point is it says in most translations the difference between The antithesis of godly wisdom is earthly wisdom, but in the passion translation It's godly wisdom or foolish stupidity Love that love that love that whole piece Because that really speaks of where a lot of us have a tendency to live You know, so tell me about were you living in Dallas at the time? I know you graduated Cornell Yeah, I moved to Atlanta after college and that's right that my my wife And then we had two small children and we moved then to Jacksonville, Florida And it's funny. We just wrote a book called relationship grit my wife and I and it's about our journey of Struggles and ups and downs and her almost leaving me and me being this negative guy who wasn't a great husband wasn't a great father And it's our journey of how we changed and our testimonies are included in there and how we grew in that and grit stands for god Resolve invest together. So it's basically four chapters is where we take you that take you through you have to invest in God God has to be the center of your relationship You have to make sure you have the you have the resolve to Stay together through the tough times because it's so easy to walk away Yeah, you have to make the time and put the energy into investing in the relationship which we often don't do We often consume from each other instead of investing in the relationship together And then you have to do it together it takes to you can't do it If one wants it and the other doesn't we learned over the years to invest together And it's never going to be equal. You're never going to have you know equal amounts of investments And it's this ebb and flow so so we share our story Very transparent. It's really scary for me in some ways because I mean I'm putting it out all all out there. I mean it's a it's a tell all and I'm basically saying hey, this was me This was who I am. This is who I am now. This is who we were Wow, and here's what we've learned and here are lessons to help you In your marriage so that you will stay together. So that's that's the whole point of that But it's funny. That's our that's our journey. So yeah moving from Atlanta to Jacksonville and then Heron was leaving me me finding my purpose asking God What am I here to do writing and speaking came to me and started that journey of being a writer and speaker So to now being on your your great podcast, you know, so So what what happens here? I'm seeing I'm thinking you know of Jesus When he healed that guy remember the guy and they they dig a hole in the roof and they lower him in And my son who's the pastor in Fort Worth Came up with a beautiful allegory He said the Picture that everybody he said most of people were outside the building so they they just saw the guy get lowered And then when Jesus heals him he tells the man Pick up your mat carry it with you. Why would he do that because the mat became his message Because all the people saw him carried in the next thing they see is him Walking out carrying that same mat And I love the stories of here's who I was Here's what happened Um, and and here I am today and carrying the mat. I love that. Yeah, the mat is your message. He's writing that book Man, I was gonna say that's a book right there Story come on John. That's what I keep telling him. Maybe you can just back me up on that one is a dad I will encourage him tell him he needs to share that book right that story. Yeah before somebody else does Right next next week you might hear me talk about the mat It's all good man. It's a God thing. I would not let me mention it J. O. N. G. O. R. D. O. N. dot com John Gordon dot com J. O. N. John Gordon dot com and that's where you can get these tools. You also have a positive university Your newest books stay positive Man unbelievable how God has enabled you to write these books and now I want to mention a couple things I want to come back to a couple things you just mentioned, but uh on this on this collaborative work Because you work with a number of other people uh What is that that energizes you when you when you do that Why does it work? It's funny for years I wrote by myself and then I wrote a book with Mike Smith the former coach of the Atlanta Falcons You went in the locker room first the seven C's to build a winning team right so that was fun I didn't really want to do that to be honest my kid been fired from the Atlanta Falcons and he had some time And he said John you know we've been talking all along about maybe writing something Let's do it now and I had just written a book and I was like all right, Mike Because I wanted to be loyal to Mike as I wanted to get that book out there and for him and it was really for him to serve him But then we do this great book and all these coaches and leaders start reading it starts to have a great impact So I saw wow this is a great project to do together. So then my good friends Dan and Jimmy Both very involved with FCA at a high level. They work with them They lead their ministries around the world and Dan Britain Wanted to do a book called one word that will change your life. So we did that together And so it's not like I looked to write with people. I just I just wait for who I'm supposed to write it with and it comes to me when it's supposed to Damon West Who I wrote the coffee bean with? That was something we met we met through Davos Sweeney who told me about this coffee bean story That Damon had just shared when Damon spoke to the team and once I heard the story from Davos Sweeney I thought that needs to be a book I reached out to Damon and said hey We should do this book together called the coffee bean. It's such a great analogy inside out Because Jesus said right right the kingdom of God is inside you the power is is in you So I knew that inside out is the way to go from it from a spiritual and a and also a very universal principle right Yeah, it's a god principle I knew that it was powerful and I've been sharing it. I was sharing what's Teams that I spoke to and I fell teams NBA teams inside out when I heard this coffee bean I'm like that's it and Damon said hey, you could do it on your own John like you don't have to do with me Wow, and I said no. I were supposed to do it together God was telling me you need to do it with this guy And Damon had been in prison for seven years Have been out for about three years at that point. Well speaking of these teams being useful making a difference In sure enough like this book is just exploded it took off Doing it together. So again, I'm not looking to write with people But when my wife said hey, let's do a book together. I knew I had to write a book Well, that was that was done. That was a done deal right there. And you know, it's funny. We wrote that book In the same chair Not at the same time, but in the same chair. So she would write on my computer I would leave and when I came back she would leave and then I would write Wow, and it's so funny. I've written 20 books Eight bestsellers and then my wife was like all of a sudden she was the expert in writing So She's like she's like she's like oh this doesn't work. Oh, you gotta change this. You're gonna change that and I'll yes honey Yes, the year I love the whole thing grit, you know, the the way you came up with the different acronyms on that yeah, I've got a friend of mine a pastor's a church and Tulsa very large church called guts And people are always asking his name is Billy sheer he was uh You know a friend of mine. He was on the US rugby team and then we played competitive baseball together and and so People are always asking him John. Hey, so what is gut stand for? He says guts So it stands for hey, you know you you hit something and this is key because I in some of the stuff I've written I talk a lot about focus that focus is Is a true a vision is forged in a discipline to extract yourself from the unnecessary And you talk about the power of saying no Tell me about that because you've hit it more than often in in number of your writings Well distractions are the enemy of greatness somewhere to what you said right distractions are the enemy of greatness So you have to say no So you could say yes to the things that truly matter We have to say no to the things that are taking us away from what truly matters So it's about your purpose. It's about finding your calling Sea turtles when they come on sure they lay their eggs and several months later Those sea turtles hatch I live in northeastern Florida where we have a lot of sea turtles When they hatch they go towards the pure light of the moon Towards the ocean But in very developed beaches what happens is you have all these lights and bright lights That That are are are sure and too often those sea turtles now move towards the bright lights Wow Instead of the pure light of the moon which is supposed to be the brightest lights On the beach now we have a brighter picture Right and so now they move towards those bright lights towards a disastrous outcome And how often do we move towards things that seem bright and shiny and the wealth and the car and the success and maybe if we're in a marriage We see someone else that maybe might look better. We will do all of these bright lights and distractions that that ultimately Dorral us from our core purpose from what God has planned from for us and so instead we need to do Is we need to move towards the pure light of the moon towards our purpose towards our path Towards the future that God has for us and to me it really is a simple thing of are we going to choose The tree of life or the tree of knowledge of good and evil it goes back to the garden of of the ultimate choice That we have initially and I just wrote a book called the garden and it's about It's a spiritual fable about ways to overcome fear stress and anxiety And this is my sort of my coming out book in terms of I'm being very overt in this book like this is a very strong faith book Yeah, how to overcome this it's not through drugs and so forth and treatment although Again, there maybe there's a place for that for in society right? I'm sure there is but this is about like the spiritual battle that we're all facing Where we look towards the bright light we look towards the things that Make us want to do it on our own instead of truly relying on God and trusting in God For our provision and for our future Hey, this is Chris. I want to take a moment right in the middle of this great conversation to let you know the brave men Podcast is a production of the Christian men's network worldwide and the global fatherhood initiative Christian men's network has helped pastors and leaders disciple men for over 40 years You can find all the resources for mentoring and fatherhood at cmn.min that's the Christian men's network at cmn.min There is a fresh new study every week called power of potential that just started Monday night men is a new resource for men and pastors as a pastor You can follow up the 30-minute study with a digital meetup with your men for prayer discussion and teaching Some churches are using the videos as part of a group meeting as an individual enlarge Energize and build a strong mindset this 13-week study will be on youtube and facebook Get your books and materials at cmn.min that's the Christian men's network at cmn.min Stop what you're doing take your phone tablet or computer and like us on facebook follow us on instagram follow us on twitter Unless you think you will lose the podcast in that case make yourself a note That's the Christian men's network or Paul Lewis Cole now. Let's get back to this powerful interview between Paul and John Gordon Yeah, so what you're really talking about is people who self-medicate And in in my work. That's anything from alcohol drugs pornography right on down the line And so rather than self-medicate we come back to the garden and as soon as you're saying come back to the center of where you were created Yes Man, that's that's brilliant And that now now let me ask you okay. Here's a basic question because I'm sure you get this all the time All right, John I read this or read that and you know, I'm going after my purpose. I just don't know how to find it Where where is it Well, I wrote a book called the seed which is about finding your purpose and happy of course of course you did It's about a young man named Josh who goes on a journey with his dog to find his purpose and What he learns in this story is that you can't find your purpose without a relationship With the one who created you for a purpose wow, so once you develop a relationship with God God will reveal your purpose to you because you are here for a purpose. He created you for a purpose So it's about tuning into him Why do millions of people search for their purpose because they know there was a purpose to be found Why has Rick Warren's book the purpose driven life sold what a hundred million copies Because everyone is searching for their purpose, but what they're really searching for is God Yes, when you find God you find your purpose and so if you don't know your purpose start living with more purpose Find ways to be purposeful and as you do that what will happen is you will start to be Opened up to your purpose finding you towards God sharing that purpose with you But it's really about tuning and turning towards him and from that he will reveal it See that's what happened to me. It was like God. I just finally said God. Why am I here? I wasn't a Christian. I just said God. Why am I here? What am I born to do? I know I'm here for a reason guy. What is my purpose and that's when writing and speaking came to me I never knew I would do this really didn't know what I would write and speak about I just knew that okay. I'm gonna write and speak it was so clear Wow and that moment on that day on I knew I was gonna do this work And that's why I've written 20 books like I have an all in the short amount of short amount of time It's why they've sold over four million copies now. Wow all God doing this work You know, I think most most of us Would would find our purpose if we were actually going to help somebody else because it's usually on the way So I'm not a people. I was so glad you said that because I just shared you know That's why write these books all these books and you know so four million when I first started No one paid me to speak so I did eighty free talks And I went from city to city sharing the message in the book and I went on a book tour For the energy bus when it first came out and five people were in one city ten people and another 30 people and other the most people we have were a hundred people in Des Moines, Iowa They thought Jeff Gordon was coming. That's why they showed up And so That we may have slid past that they thought the NASCAR driver was yeah, they thought Jeff Gordon not John Gordon That's that's why I was that's why I was so packed Come on man. No joke a hundred they did a hundred people right so So I get back and what I realized in looking back was if this was 2007. Yeah Looking back God was refining me. He was holding me. He was shaping me like are you really going to do my work? Is it about you or your purpose and my mission was To encourage and inspire as many people as possible one person at a time wow Just go out there one person at a time and so that was my mission and guess what it's my mission to this day Right now we're talking to in the coronavirus Right now I went from speaking to all these major companies big events getting paid a lot of money to now making nothing Yeah, my purpose is as strong as ever. I'm doing zooms and webinars Yeah, I'm working as hard just not going on planes, but I'm working as hard now I'm just not getting paid for it now But it's taking me back to the beginning to the early days well for the roots of what I would just do this And I'm humble and I'm hungry and I'm still there. I'm not too good for this I'm right back in the trenches In the beginning like I was years ago and guess what I was a fighter then I had the grit then I had the belief then and I have it right now and I'll continue to do this work because it's his work, right? So guess what God I'm open Use me for your purpose guide me towards my purpose Make me an instrument of your peace your joy. I surrender your will not my will help me build your kingdom Not my kingdom and so I will continue to just do that and as I do that You know, we'll see what happens in the future, but I but I am being brought back to that moment So so purpose is you said it earlier just serve just be there for others. It's not about you And along the way God's gonna refine you in doing that and if you're meant to be promoted right to reach a lot more people He will but maybe you're just meant to reach and I say maybe that I say just but I shouldn't say just because Jesus just invested in his 12 right and those 12 would go on to change the world So whatever you're supposed to do God will have you in that you want you to reach Bigger crowds and more people great if you want you to invest deeply in your 20 and your 12 and your 30 Then that's will be the way it is like I know me. I know my purpose It's to reach a lot of people to share a message with a lot of people to bring more people closer to him There's other great people that work in a more intimate level in smaller groups But that's just I know that's not my call. I know my call is so everyone's gonna be different But but don't get ahead of yourself on the call plant yourself where you are Like a seed surrender to the ground the way the seed surrenders right surrender To God the way the seed surrenders to the ground I said you surrender to the ground surrender to the god the way the seed surrenders to the ground And when you do that you will then grow Like that plant does and then you will grow into the leader that he has called you to be when you do You know god god created seeds because he loves things that start And you know what I say multiply and multiply yeah, that's Jeremiah 29 verse five multiply Don't just hang out there next aisle multiply So the fast thing to me about everything you've been writing is there's there's actually This depth that comes out of your own life personal life tell me about your dad My dad my biological father or my dad who raised me yeah the The one that was in the military right the New York City police officer right New York City Yeah, New York City police officer. He raised me undercover narcotics right When the Medal of Honor just just a tough guy But he saw the world in a negative way. He saw the world that was out to get him wasn't a very wow Wasn't a believer wasn't a faithful person Just really was fighting the world every day But was a great dad and and Took me and my brother on as his own and raised us as his own I heard this joke the other day that said um in terms of like biological father I guess your biological father a good guy. Well, he was really a good guy. I probably wouldn't call him my biological father I would just call him that And so you know my biological father wasn't a great father very narcissistic very self-serving Wasn't very committed to me and my brother left when I was a year old just wasn't wasn't really a great father He tried but just wasn't a great father wasn't really committed and put his other family that he found before us So we always had this feeling of abandonment, but we had this we had this His other dad who raised us since I was five my brother was eight And he showed his commitment and he showed his love and he raised us as his own and in many ways like his love made God's love for me possible to see that that There was a God that would sacrifice for me that was a God that was committed to me That would have not me into into his kingdom. So so I had this Dad who was very committed another one who wasn't so I saw the difference between A father that would commit and one that didn't one that truly loved you and focused on you and made you his party And one that made himself a priority And I guess that guy is all of my leadership a guy is the way that I am a father and who I want to be You know I invest in my kids. So what's something good that's coming out of this right now my son's 19 He's home from college. He was having a tough time in college going through some difficult times And it is allowing me to really spend a lot of time with him. Wow Disciplining in some ways creating structure and others Creating love and accountability and others and really get him on the right track that if I was on the road a lot I wouldn't be able to do that but I'm able to do that right now and and I did that again Growing up, but not as much as I would have liked because I was on the road speaking a lot But now it's like I was always there for my kids, and now it's like I'm like I'm doing things now that maybe I wish I could have done When he was 15 and 14 Yeah, but you know, here's here's an opportunity and I think this is what happens on a reset moment like we have right now John Is that sometimes we can look at it as an obstacle when in fact, it's actually an opportunity For a reset new starts You know April basically because the United States were all In the sense hunker down lockdown I think it's the the great reset month of the year maybe of our lifetime Come out of this with a different resolve and and how do we make a difference in the world in which we live Because it's never going to be the same again But what do we want it to be like right and what's my part in that And I think it's it's fascinating that that you would now how did your faith how did come into faith in your mid 30 Change the way you parented Change me as a husband as a father you'll have to read relationship grit to hear all about that Okay, you know, maybe maybe my wife and I come on sometime that would be fantastic Yep, but but I mean in a nutshell The way it changed me is it changed my heart Change my heart from the inside out and so I was sort of a narcissist And I was all about my success and focus on trying to be successful And I blamed my family For the reason why I wasn't successful It was because of them and my wife and all the things I had to do and all the things I had to give up To provide for them instead of going for my purpose And when I became a person of faith when I gave my life to Jesus what happened was my heart changed I began to serve more Began to love more care more be there for them more and in doing that what happened was I then became more successful, which is just wild like once I invested in my family in the route Next thing you know the fruit started coming But I knew what my priority was I knew that if I was a success out in the world, but not at home I would be a failure. Yeah, and so be success at home Your identity changed my identity changed where it was no longer where I had to have success people all asked me like I was on a plane Maybe five years ago and this woman was next to me and she was in the The event world and she said you know, I never heard you before You know, you need to be a household name. You got some great stuff. I said you know I want to be a big name in my household. That's my goal It's great And it was during the time when I really my my son was 13 my daughter was 15 Both struggling I took The whole spring and stopped traveling Wow and spent time with just my family getting involved in the trenches We write about this in the book. It was like What I didn't do in the early years I was now doing now and investing in them and being there for them and serving my wife and My word was served for the year at the end of the year My wife said hey, what's gonna be where next year selfish? I've never seen you do so much I said no, no, it's it's gonna be served because I'm now changed from the inside out and that's what I really understood Servant leadership. It was after that I wrote the carpenter the power positive leadership Wow, however positive team the coffee bean and stay positive all best selling books besides the energy bus happened After I truly served my family in that way Because your definitions changed and definitions drive decisions. I'll behave your follows belief So uh now this thing shifted in you and in your definition of success changed You know one of the things that that we talk about in christmas network success is to fully satisfy your personal design So if you were built to be a third grade teacher Be the best at it be excellent Because like you said each one of those students let's say you teach third grade for 30 years and you think well That wasn't that big of a deal But maybe that's I don't know what that is. Maybe that's a thousand thousand students or 1200 times 80,000 I Mean it's it'd be unbelievable in fact we can look at some people and say well This guy was on front of magazines and all this but you actually impacted more people teaching third grade That's what I love about teachers and coaches I mean you think about the impact they had on on people's lives and they have on people's lives my coaches My teachers are the one who transform my life. So I always think I reduced fee to go speak to school districts To impact the teachers and coaches because I love still doing that because they are so special because they they make a difference And you're right think about the ripple effect that you have have you noticed that a lot of times pastors kids and also Teachers kids and you know coaches kids a lot of times those kids go on to do this do these amazing things and I think it's because These parents were giving so much to others and also their own family that they created that foundation that fertile soil For these younger people to grow now. I have seen that now in my era John The pastor's kids were the rebels right right and I did my best to uphold that flag and So you know it it's as but that was a different era, you know growing up in the 60s You know the message was fire and rimstone then right so you were rebelling against that now I'm telling you man. It was it was the old structure stuff Anyway, but it was just things that actually you know, it's what you talk about it tightened up a person's dream And put it inside these little boxes and if it didn't fit in this little box you couldn't dream it I love that and I want to go back to what you said earlier though By the way you said something so so great and profound about whatever you're doing Just be the best at it like live to your design and that's the thing We all have a purpose. We all have a design. We all have something we're called to do But you are called to be great. You were never meant to be average God made you to pursue and do great things and There's a feeling inside of us that we want to do great things. Yeah, because we were meant to do great things That's why it's in there. We were meant to We were never meant to be average We're made in the likeness and image of God. We're not here to be average But what happens is we have these negative voices and thoughts yeah saying we're not great. We're not enough from the enemy right The doubt the discouragement the distortion of lies the distraction that we see the division and the separation From God right what happened in the garden the separation gets reconciled on the cross And so the answer to those I call them the five D's and this is in the garden The answer to those five D's are Is is Jesus it's knowing that that he is here to reconcile you to the Father to unite What was separated and once you come back to God and you are united now with God we realize is You are here for purpose you're here for a reason and you're made in his image And so there is a greatness and identity that comes from him That he's planted in you. So it's not your own identity on your own your greatness comes from his greatness That he's planted in you and then that allows you to do great things You know reconciliation the original language It's written in is the antithesis of accusation Hmm So to be to help reconcile people is to pull them away To move the other direction, which is what repentance says to move the other direction from accusation And the way we say it and see him in now John is the snake always lies Yes, the snake always lies So he's never been there's never been any truth and it's all accusation John Gordon J.O.N. G-O-R-D-O-R I'm writing that down by the way I like that car I gotta write that down that's really good about you know accusation Yeah, it's you know when it's called us the ministry reconciliation It means the ministry of pulling people away from the accusation Really yeah, it you know what you know what it is John. It's the curses of Goliath And every person has a Goliath in their lives And the curses of Goliath were not that he stood in front of Saul day and night in effbondum The curses of Goliath were he was saying your gods too small you're not good enough You'll never make it this will never happen nothing's ever gonna work right and Saul bought into the negativity of the atmosphere Rather than being a coffee bean and change the atmosphere And so So that's why David said Morning and night will I be in your word? I'll be before you morning and night Why because that's when that happened 40 days which is the testing of man 40 is always a number that Canotes the testing of man and so Goliath comes out morning and night And curses and the same thing happens to you and me think about it early morning late at night negativity Those are Goliath's curses the snake always lies And you won't make it it won't happen. This is gonna you're gonna get infected your whole families going down The stuff that Gavin Newsom said is all gonna happen, you know, it's all gonna blow up And these things fight on us. That's why we have to pull away from the 24-7 news cycle And Proverbs 4 says what you put in your heart is what you become So that your decisions your destiny comes out of this input this core Anyway, John, I you know, I just read all this stuff. You're a lot of the stuff you're doing and and a love meeting you brother And I love the vibrancy of your spirit And I'm looking forward to that book that you're gonna send me about the relational book You get listen. We'll send it to you. Yeah, I'll say that in the garden dude since I just paid retail for two other books I Don't wish it will send both of you online Anyway No, it's it's great meeting you and man. I pay I pray favor on you and your family safety during this time period when we're talking right now and you too And also pray that every place you put your feet it's holy ground and every place Everything you put your hands to it'll prosper Because you're doing it to the glory of God your man who speaks of purpose not just a narrow plan And I'll love that because it allows us to color in our lives outside the lines And it's fantastic. So John. Thank you for being with me on this time and I look forward to meeting you someday when we can actually Uh Do social connection rather than socialist? I look forward to it as well and all that and look forward to meeting your you and your wife And I pray blessing on you and everything you're doing. Thanks John. Hey. Thanks so much for having me. I appreciate you Oh, we'll see you This was such a powerful book in conversation that you guys talked about Carpenter and there's so many things that we can grasp out of this But I just want to sum it up real quick. Are you going to sum it up? Yes, okay? What John all of it look at love all of it and look at this love the struggle love the challenge love competition love negative people Love those who have hurt you and love fear. Hey, and John Gordon. I think we gave it No, HN is named J-O-N G-O-R-D-O-N dot com and And of course in the show notes we'll have these things, but can I read to you the last Page of the Carpenter. Yeah, is this yeah? Hey, we already started. Yeah, go ahead. Can I give it away? Yeah What do they call that the spoiler alert? Yeah, I don't think I'll do that But basically it's this it's that it's what we do with the christian men's network exactly and that is teach to teach to teach exactly Or words we train men who will train men and second Timothy Chapter two verse two Paul said to Timothy young man that he was mentoring. He said With the things I've given you Give to other men who will be faithful give them to faithful men look for faithful men Who will be able to teach others also yeah, in other words we teach others not just to teach them But for them to teach others yes, in other words christian men's network isn't built in order to bring people to us But for us to help pastors leaders churches to grow local churches exactly. That's the bottom line So it really is about helping a man learn to disciple other men To bring men to Christ exactly Bam yeah, and I mean It's powerful. Yeah, you know, because one of the greatest things about learning discipleship is love never ends Okay, let me write that down hang on to suck Do you see what I say what you're saying because it's like learning how to like we like I summed up, you know the carpenter loving to love No matter what right yeah, well love always carries forward exactly. Yeah, okay the progression of it Okay, I get it love never ends exactly. Yeah, you can write a book If you could book spend if you could go to write it for maybe the work's been written Or maybe you can help me with that So, uh, you know John Gordon. I want to thank John for being with us and taking it time Yeah, and I look forward to having more conversations with him. Yes, you know, I'd like to do You know some special things for us for our guys and and uh, you know kind of stretch us in some of these areas But John really John really nailed it. I want to thank John for that and Chris and I Have both gone through the power of potential. Yes, it is a fantastic study That's one and now I'm doing it again. We're doing a live every Monday night on Monday night men I think I'll be there. Yeah, you'll be there and Also, not only that not only do we do it on uh, but it's on YouTube. Yes You can go back and watch it. Yep. You watch on YouTube and then there's a Facebook christmas network Facebook page Yes, so it's on there and then on YouTube you put in Monday night men in fact you can google Monday night men And we come up on the front page. Yes. In fact, we're at the top. Yep, and then about the fourth one down's Monday night men bowling leak Yes, that's not us, but that's not okay Not yeah, nope, but also when you're there, you know Make sure you like the video. Oh, yeah, make sure you share the video. Yeah, make sure you also subscribe to the channel It makes it easier for you to find the video for the next video next week And it also reminds you of other videos that Have impacted a bunch of people that we've shared well. They're on here. There's all sorts of stuff on that Monday night men Channel on the christmas network channel. Exactly. Which is this all the same thing. Yes, and we have more videos that are we're getting ready to visit bronners on air We've got other videos on air. We've got inspirational stuff from yeah everybody from Pierre duplicy to a bishop Dale Bronner Yes, yeah, it's fantastic channel uplifting and large and and then CMM dot men is where men can get the resources. Yeah, and the power potential book has a workbook with it Go through it together and So fantastic stuff. Hey, thank you for being with us today on brave men excited about the new year about reviving things About relaunching about moving into new areas of our lives And one of the things that that I mentioned to a number of men recently was in acts the third chapter And it says this and this is after Peter and John Yeah, Peter says to him rise and be healed and he rises up. He's healed He turns to all the people there and he says to them repent Turn around return to God so your sins would be erased And then he says so that times are refreshing so good in the amplify says recovering from the effects of heat Or reviving with fresh air May come from the presence of the Lord and bottom line is This everything we're doing here is about reviving our hearts recovering from the effects of heat Which is burnout amen, right? Which is kind of where we've been yeah, and fresh air is the presence of God man Amen, and that's it and so that's what John did for us. That's what that's what happens every week on brave men. Yes In December of 2020 we had nine different programs on from Max Lucato to who else auto Kelly auto Kelly out fantastic So That was remarkable so we can go back and all those are on the on the menu. Yes, right? You can go wherever you listen to podcast over 70 episodes now We're up to 70 episodes and you can go back and listen at any time. Yeah, so it is about that. It's about reviving refreshing Being renewed in Jesus Christ, but when you go back and you listen make sure you subscribe Make sure you like make sure you share because you know that there's somebody that needs to hear this You know that you were encouraged, so do not be greedy and hold the encouragement to yourself share the encouragement. Amen Hey, thank you for being with us today on brave men. Remember hope is alive. Hope has a name. Hope's name is Jesus come on man You've just experienced brave man with Paul Lewis Cole Paul is president of the Christian men's network connect with Paul at cmn.man or write to him at Paul at cmn.man You