Brave Men S2E16: Your Daily Routine

I was flying to Montana. When I came across this statistic 68% of teens in America feel a sense of depression or have acute anxiety. Well, this stunned me. I'm thinking in the most affluent and dynamic culture to ever appear on planet Earth It just blew my mind. We're expanding our knowledge, but shrinking our hearts. I I believe there's a solution and it simply starts the moment you wake up in the morning. It's Brave Men with Paul Lewis Cole. Wisdom encourage for the journey. Hi, I'm Paul Cole. This is the Brave Men podcast. I'm here with my partner in crime, Brian Boyd. And Brian, this whole thing, Brave Men doing a Brave Men podcast. It's not just about Brave Men or here's introducing Brian, the Brave Man. It's actually our goal. We get out of this when it comes out the other side of it. I have moments of Braveness, Paul. I can speak in front of a crowd. I can get up to a thousand people and talk about whatever, but if my wife says me into the Walmart to return something without a receipt, I turn into a little child. So I don't know where the Braveness goes. Yeah, we all have returning a dish at a restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When they bring you the wrong thing and they say, well, we'll take it back and you go, well, no, I'm okay. I'm okay. Yeah. Also, they can't do anything. Yeah. Really, you need to have them take it back. But the result that we're looking at is being somebody who has the courage to walk through life, make decisions. And this stat that hit me when I was on the airplane the other day, Brian blew my mind. 68% of American teens with acute anxiety and stress. And I believe there's, in fact, here's my deal. Here's my bottom line on this. I believe you're daily routine. In other words, you're, in fact, the morning ritual when you wake up can reduce anxiety and stress or the opposite. Yeah. They say that. I should make the bed of the morning, right? I mean, isn't that one of the most basic ritual things is a person who makes their bed? I think how you start your day, that was that famous speech the general gave at West Point start your day in the morning, at least you accomplish something. You know, make your bed in the morning. But how you start your day, that core foundational moment, I believe creates an atmosphere for your heart and your mind that stays with you the whole day. And everything grows or dies based on the atmosphere. So if the first thing you do, I had a friend who every morning, the first thing he did is he turned on the 24 hour news station. I mean, the first thing I check see what I missed, see what's going on. And then he would check his social media. And by the time he got around to maybe trying to read his Bible or or do something to his positive, his anxiety level was just already off the chart. And he was yeah, big ink. And we all do that. Yeah. So the question is, what's our daily ritual? How do we start and end our day? Just check out this one. Go ahead. Check out this one. 40% of everything you and I do every day is done without thinking it's just a habit. 40%. That's what behavioral scientists tell us. Like for instance, this is the only one taking a shower. You don't think about it. Your brain, one of the things your brain does is try to keep you alive. Okay. So one of the basic things it does is try to keep every bit of energy that it can keep for the really tough moments. So it becomes habitual in its actions. So you don't have to think about it. So you pick up the soap and you start with the same arm or however you start always. Yeah. I mean, that's something. It's just a habit. Yeah. So the question is for you and me is, what's our daily habit for intimacy with God? I think that's the basic issue because that intimacy produces an atmosphere for our heart that helps us make right decisions. I know. I know. I know a great friend of mine, a couple, a Squire Rushnell and Louise Duarte. They're a wonderful couple out of Martha's Vineyard actually and he's an author and every morning I've read some of this material. Yeah. Godwinks is one of his books. Yep. Every morning, what he's morning ritual is he makes his wife a cup of coffee and a toasted bagel no matter where they are in the world, anywhere in the world. He tells me every morning that's what he does. He starts his morning and then I forgot of his morning or evening, but they always meet together in prayer. I believe it's in the evening. They don't let it go by where they don't sit together, hold hands, look at each other and pray. I admire that because it's so with all that's going on in life. I don't know how you keep a ritual like that. Well, the question is how do you not? Once you do this, and I'll give you two stories, two pictures of that because I think that picture of Squire because you put it in some different materials. And here's the thing that my pastor said, Phil Pringle. He said this, praying men don't send and sinning men don't pray. That was so simple. It was just basic. I give you a basic one. You know, we're here in the United States and we've got a lot of friends around the world who will be with us right now, but here in the U.S. we're really into American football. And it was a famous coach. His name was Vince Lombardi. But he only became famous because he ended up winning championships. But here's where it started. It was 1961 in July. The Green Bay Packers where he was the coach had come back together. What had just happened that previous December, they had finally got to the NFL championship game. But they lost in the last few minutes to the Philadelphia Eagles. And man, they were still hurting, right? They're still feeling that loss. And when he got hit all his football players together, 38 of them, he walks into the room. He's got a football under his arm. Now, these are men who have played the game to play at the highest level already. But that 1961 season, he had an idea and his plan was go back to the basics. So he gripped that football, held it out in front of him and growled to those men. Gentlemen, this is a football. And with that statement, he began a new day in that team's history. They started doing the basic fundamentals, starting with this is a football. And that year, December 1961, they defeated the Giants to become the NFL champions. And that coach, Vince Lombardi, never lost another playoff game that he coached in. Wow. So for you and me, Brian, as followers of Christ, I think it's kind of funny, but it's true. Gentlemen, this is a Bible. Right. It's right. It's so foundational. What's your ritual? Let's put you in a spot, Paul. My ritual. Well, I don't make coffee for my wife first thing. I make coffee for me. And she, I'm usually a little bit earlier. And so my first thing is I go to Proverbs and this quarter of the year, where we're taping this podcast, this quarter of the year, I'm using the, what's called the passion translation. Really, really interesting. In fact, today's proverb had a great line in it. It said, it said, the only thing worse than a fool is a conceded man who believes everybody should know what his opinion is. There you go. Wow. So when you start with the basics, and so I start with Proverbs for the day of the month, you know, so it's, let's say, Proverbs five, you know, it's, or it's the fifth day, fifth of January, let's say. So I've Proverbs five. And that just keeps me on track. So I've read Proverbs through I would hard to track, you know, for 30 years. And then I'll go to a Bible reading plan. Now, last year, I used the U version plan and read through the New Testament three times and then read different parts of the first covenant, what we call the Old Testament. And then this quarter, I'm just going ahead and starting in Matthew, which is the first book of the New Testament. And I'm just reading, I'm going to read straight through for three months and read the New Testament. And then the Proverbs. And then on top of that, I have different things I'm studying and other books I'm reading. So I'll knock out the first hour with, you know, reading, prayer, quiet. I do, I did do this. Okay, here's my, here's my little thing. I check my phone to see if there's any texts. Well, yeah, because the only people that text me are yourself or my sister, who's our vice president or somebody where it's usually pretty, you know, timely or urgent tour. And I'll look at it and if it's a quick response, I'll respond or I'll set it aside and go, okay, you know, I can get it this, you know, at 6.30 this morning, I don't need to do it right now. Right. But I think what that does is that puts the word of God in our hearts. And the Bible says, from your heart comes your life. Here's another picture of that. So, yeah, here's another picture of that. Yeah, hold on to that. Yeah, go ahead. So just, I don't want to pass this point because we've got somebody listening saying, okay, step one is let's get some word into our system. Right. So are you saying, well, step one might be coffee. Easy way to do it. Step one might be coffee. Well, of course, yeah. Of course, coffee. But I don't want to overwhelm the one with the whole, let's get into the Bible. It's very, well, as you spoke, I've got overwhelmed. So you version the Bible lap has a reading plan. Right. That is simple to use, right? Right. So it's a really easy beginner step. That's a good way to start. Yeah, I do use click on Aaron and says plans. And for instance, one of our great friends with Krishnamen's network is Rob Carmen, Dr. Rob Carmen. And he had a little plan on Aaron. I think it was five parts of how to decrease stress in your life. And you click on it, and it took, I don't know, maybe about one minute to read the scripture he had, and then about another one minute to read what he had said about that. About two to three minutes, probably three minute read. And immediately right there, something begins to shift because, in this way, I was going to mention is in the computer world, and you know more about this than I do, but the basic language of a program is called the source code. And that becomes the basis for all communication out of that program. Right. So your mobile device, your phone, your computer, everything has a basic language. So it can communicate. And for me, the source code becomes what's in my heart, the Bible says, what you put in your heart is what you become. Psalm 119 verse 11, Brian says, your word I've put in my heart that I might not sin. So it doesn't have to be overwhelming. I always tell guys an easy one is just read the book of John. This is one of the men who was a follower of Christ, one of his best friends. And he wrote a book about Jesus with many of his quotes in it, as he was walking with him. And as he was some years after he wrote down everything that had happened. Well, I actually didn't write down everything. At the end of John, he says, if somebody tried to write down everything that Jesus did, it would take all the paper in the world and all the ink. Because so much happened, you know, what's fascinating, you know, as you, again, I read a lot. So you studied different things. And I just read somebody who told me that the life of Christ that we read in the New Testament is really only snapshots from about 21 to 50 days, somewhere between 21 and 50 days. Do we see snapshots? So everything we read and all the things that we saw happen are just snapshots out of 21 to 50 days, somewhere in that neighborhood. So think of all the other days he had, all the things that happened all day long. And think of the things that happened to you and me all day long. So, you know, if you only took 10 minutes to start the atmosphere, right? It's true. You know, if you took 15, here's what David said in Psalms, he said, he said, your word becomes for me like honey. He said, it becomes something I want to go after. It tastes good. I want this thing. And so it's the way to armor up. It's good. Like Paul said in Ephesians 6, he said put on the whole armor of God, right? Because the fact is we're in a fight. There's stuff going on. It's chaos. So the word of God gives us a foundation to move with confidence and courage and it's how we armor up. Here's what Paul said in Ephesians 6. You know this one. Well, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle, you will still be standing. I think that's the key in verse 14 of chapter 6 of the letter to Ephesians of Paul wrote, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, says, stand your ground, putting on a belt of truth, body armor of God's righteousness, put your feet on your feet, shoes, put peace. So you're walking around in peace. In addition to that, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery darts of the enemy or the arrows. And it says put salvation on your as your helmet. In other words, what's in your heart and in your mind and spirit? Jesus is for me. Right. And I think, I mean, that thing right there, here's the great philosopher Muhammad Ali. He said this. He said, he said the fight, in other words, he was a great boxer, right? Famous. He said, but my fights are one or lost far away from the witnesses behind the lines in the gym out there on the road long before I dance under those lights. In other words, he said, what do I do in my private preparation? Is actually what wins the game? I look to the great philosopher, evil, cannibal, for all of my insight. He's my hero. Hey, I want to keep going on this. I want to just take a short break, Paul, and for those listening to the podcast, we're so glad you joined. We're going to talk a little bit more about your daily routine. And Paul, I'd like to actually talk a little bit about, if you don't mind, non-spiritual routine, I want to talk about physical for a second. But before we get there, we have, I have a really special offer for our listeners. If you go to cmn.man, cmn.man, and click on resources, you'll notice right there highlighted is a resource we call the 10-day detox. And the 10-day detox is a series of videos. It actually comes on a really cool Altoids-like tin box with a thumb drive and works on any device, any computer. But it's full of videos and content and spans 10 days. And chapter of the first day, Paul is kind of an expanded day. Yeah, it really speaks of getting that thing started. And when we talk about a habit, years ago, in the 60s, there was a book written about psychosomatic illnesses and habits. Basically, this man came up with a concept that in 21 days, you could create a new habit. Since then, the research has said some habits can start in a week. Others can take a half year. So it really is about doing what you need to do in a consistent way. That's an act of your will. You just say, you know what? I'm going to do this every morning and I'm going to start and it will become a habit. And it's a habit that enlarges your life and, you know, bottom line, Brian, the world is so chaotic. And even if we've got the same job we drive to every day or walk to or take the bus to, even if we have the same thing in every day we walk in and there's 42 pieces of project we have to do, or you know, or we're milling furniture. And it's the same thing. There's still something new every day, right? Something we have to deal with. We can't possibly go into everything that's in the series on this podcast. But I will tell you this, if you go today for a limited time, this thumb drive in this series is $15 off. So normally $50 per minute. $25. I think you did. I think you approved it. But you know, this podcast is getting to a lot of eyeballs. A lot of people are listening to it. And we want to get this resource as many people as possible. So anyway, I think C-man dot man. Yeah, I think it's a fantastic resource. And also on there is Bishop Dale Bronner. We put a video bonus video on our Dale Bronner RT Kindle, the famous Theologian of three part series. We put that on there. You're either yesterday's man, today's man or tomorrow's man. And that really is a robust resource. You know, I had a friend of mine who for many years, a manufactured fitness equipment, all right, fitness glue. And and one of the core sayings in that fitness industry was this, you cannot exercise your way out of poor nutrition. Wow. In other words, what you put in you, you can't just go exercise your way out of eating all the wrong stuff. And the same is true in our lives. We we will get in our car. We won't have done anything or we'll get on the bus. And all of a sudden we're going, God help me today. It's like you didn't put anything in you man. You got no scripture to pray. You've got no foundation for courage for the day. I mean, here's the deal. Here's the question that always hit me. Why did Jesus pray? You're thinking about this. Why did Jesus pray? Because couldn't he just go, hey, Father, you think of what I'm thinking? Right. Yes. Father goes, you know, sure. You know, we're both God. Yeah, I think we're pretty much have the same mind. Yeah. And instead it says he prayed all day. And I believe it's because he had to dial in his humanity. Think about it. Everywhere he went, people are pulling on him. People are asking him to go here, go there. And he had to know exactly the right thing to do. What prayer does is strip away the inconsequential. It brings clarity out of chaos. And so Jesus would pray. So if that's, if that's Christ, how much more so do I need to pray who gets easily covered up with the toxicity of life? So let's talk about. And when I pray, it's, I pray with the Bible. And so I'll pray, you know, something to John prayed or I'll pray something out of the Psalms or yeah, this stuff. It's like, you know, I don't need to know all the background stuff. When I turn on a light in a room, I turn a switch on. I don't need to know all the little wires and the stuff that goes to a central something transmitting station. And I just need to know that switch goes up and down. Take us back. For me, prayer and the Bible is kind of like the switch, which is just basics. I put the pod in the coffee machine and I just make sure the coffee comes out. First thing in the morning. I get, I get the, yeah, that's like, that's real first world right there. But it's, it's tough. I get the big box from Amazon and it works really well. The physical, the physical part, we've got a few minutes left, Paul, and I want to try to get people back to their day, but what about the physical part of a start of your day? You know, what a couple pushups, a couple zedups or a quick jog or how important is it to, to, you know, treat your body with some sort of respect or something to get it get a routine started? Yeah, I think Jesus over and over in his disciples and the men around him, they talk often about how we are stewards. And in fact, the words they used in the original languages in Aramaic was beyond being stewards or stewardship. It was to be a trustee. In other words, even the environment as an example, we're not just stewards of the environment as conservationists, which we are as followers of Christ. We're trustees of the environment and we're trustees of our own body. And one of the saddest things I've seen Brian and you've seen it too, is I have friends whose father passed away maybe years before he ever should have because he never paid attention to his physical body. I do think we're in a world that that thinks about it more. Usually it's because they want to look at an Instagram. But, but it's true. And so what I do is I'll do 100 to 150 push-ups if it's not a day that I'm working out. So I usually work out for five days a week at a gym. All right, whatever. And then, and then you run. I do. Right. You get out and run. And so all of those things stirs up things in I turned 50. Paul. Paul, I was I turned 50. And I was really overweight. Really? And and my wife looked at me and she had just gone through breast cancer successfully and totally healthy. And she looked at me when I turned 50 and I was 280 pounds. And I'm 63, but, but you know, it's a little. It's a little much. It's a little much. I mean, that's for real. And it's true. And, you know, I just didn't feel good about it. And she'll so I lit I, you know, God heal the knee through breast cancer. Wow, heart attack. And I joined a little running club and and just took a step at a time and and I dropped. So in other words, he started back with the basics, but, um, healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but 50, but 50 wasn't too late. Paul, you know, it wasn't too. And 20 is not too early. Right. Uh, I, you know, right now we have such a phenomena of young men and women in poor health because we've become such a computer driven culture, you know, high tech low touch. Uh, I love, uh, R.E.I. is a store here in the United States, uh, recreational equipment corporate R.E.I. and some of them, remember, uh, outdoor gear and so forth. There's a big, you know, in our Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States, the day after the Thanksgiving holiday, which is on Thursday is called Black Friday. It's a big shopping day. Uh, this store, R.E.I. actually closes on that day and says, go outside. That's awesome. Yeah. Go outside. Go do something and, uh, man, the health issues that our young people are facing actually can change your frame of mind. It changes the way, uh, your chemicals work within your brain, your thinking. In fact, there's something called the thinning of the cortex and the thinning of the cortex through poor nutrition. Uh, Harvard Medical School did this study. This is a little sidebar thing, but they did this medical study and I, I read the whole study. The thinning of the cortex is poor nutrition has caused young people to have a thinner cortex, the place where we think in the outer part of our brain, where, where current memories happen and where you actively pull back so they're not doing well in school because our nutrition is bad. And, and here's another way it's said, uh, a teacher in Belize that told me this. She said, well, we know that. She said, we didn't know about that study. We just say hungry kids can't learn. Wow. Yeah. So it's true in our, it's true in the United States. It's true in every culture. If, if we're not taking care of the Bay, it's one of the first things that Alex Matala does with his incredible resources for orphans in, in East Africa. One of the first things he does is get them nutritionally positive. Then he begins to train their mind. He has something they say every morning. I'm a child of God. I can do this, you know, and he can, they have a certain thing they say every day and they begin to train their body, train their mind. And then they begin to teach them math and reading and the, the things that they need in order to be effective in life. So, gosh, that's a great story about you losing the weight. Well, you're probably a nicer person today. It's a, it's, I can't, I can't say enough about it. Really, it's, um, it's changed. Oh, man, it's, it's an incredible feeling. And it's, it's amazing to have clothes that fit, you know, a little better. So wait a minute. Wait a minute. So what you're saying is, because you're a follower of Christ and, and you're a man who knows the word and you, you're a reader, but this physical side was actually causing new issues. That mentally, you know, where's your, your thinking wasn't necessarily in a place of peace. No. No, I, I think anyone who, yeah, there's no question. It affects, it affects your whole three, three hundred sixty degree persona. But you had to start that with an internal decision. In other words, everything you have to, it's like externally starts internally. Yeah. No one can force it on you. It's kind of like therapy. You know, you have to want to do that. You have to go want to talk to, to your, to somebody. You know, my wife encouraged me, but I had this, I had to say, you know, what you're exactly right. I've got to get this done. And for us, our family, it's, you know, it really hit home because she had just gone through this cancer. And, and for another podcast, we'll talk about, I may give that testimony because, um, since, since press, you know, I think, I think you could just resign it when you get sick too. Um, but resign it or you could, you know, since press cancer, she's run, she's run 23 full marijuana since she had breast cancer. Wow. Yeah. So I think, I think, I think anyone can, doesn't matter how old you are, um, you know, walk, I, I just yesterday, the true story is, as timely as today's headlines. I was walking outside and there is a friend of mine from my, in the neighborhood and he was out there walking his dog and he's really a big man. He, he, and he knows that he says, and he goes, Brian, guess what? I said, what, what Bob? I'm, I'm walking. I got out here this morning and I took Darcy the dog and we walked all the way down there to the 7-Eleven and back. I'm like, oh man, it's awesome. Yeah, I'm going to go tomorrow too. And I, and I actually, you know, this is something too. I said, call me when you're going to go. I'll come with you. And I said, let me walk with you. And so I think a little bit of accountability. That's another whole, we don't have time. But I can't, we talk about brotherhood and another podcast. And I think that's part of it. It's got to be, you got to have a little bit of, you got to be able to tell somebody, hey man, and you know, I just lost some weight. I was sitting at lunch with my, with one of my closest friends. I went the other day and we were talking about, it was, you know, the start of the, our year and, and we were talking about different things. And we started talking about our workout programs and what he was doing, what I was doing. And I'm 14 pounds less year to year from last January to this January, 14 pounds less. While it wasn't overweight, necessarily, I just wasn't where I needed to be. And he looked at me and said, man, that's awesome. Well, shoot, I just felt great coming out of there. So you need that. You need somebody you can tell, hey man, here's, you know, hey, I'm walking. Yeah, we have a room. Yeah, if, if anybody wants to write in and we'll give tips on all of these things, including the, the Bible, the Bible reading plan on maybe an easy, an easy physical plan, something, I don't want us to be overwhelming for anybody. And, and so write in and we'll be, be sure to answer your emails. Paul, what's your, what's your personal email address? Just write, write to me at Paul at cmn.man and cmn since we're Christian men's network. And, you know, that's where, as you mentioned, there's a lot of resources and things we can use in our lives, but Paul at cmn.man. And I'll get that and Brian will make sure we get some things back to them, answer questions. Yeah, if you have a, if you have a story or if, if this is struck home with you, let us know. Yeah. And I'd, I'd really be happy to read it in a, in a future podcast. Hey, we're going to wrap up now, but Paul, man, would you take like 30 seconds as pray for. And I'll just think with Father, I do thank you for your love and your grace and your mercy. I thank you for your son, Jesus. I thank you that in Christ, we find peace, courage, affirmation, the ability to make decisions that increase our lives. Father, I thank you that in our path today, for me and Brian and our friend listening right now, that Father today, you are with us. You're not silent. Psalm 46 says you are our refuge. We trust you because you've never failed to keep your word. So we trust your word and we put it in our hearts and we live a larger life. Lord, we thank you for that today. In Jesus' name, we pray by the power of the Holy Spirit, expecting to receive those things for which we have prayed. Amen. Amen. Thanks, Paul. And the distra reminder at cmn.men under resources, you can get the 10 day detox. Again, it's $15 off normally $50. It's on $35 US for listeners of this podcast and anyone. So be sure to share with a friend. If you'd like to write in, we'd love to get feedback. Paul at cmn.men is our email address, Paul at cmn.men. So for Paul Cole, I'm Brian Boyd and we'll see you next time on the Brave Men podcast. You've just experienced Brave Men with Paul Lewis Cole. Paul is president of the Christian Men's Network. Connect with Paul at cmn.men or write to him at Paul at cmn.men.